mortensorchid Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 I went out tonight with a guy friend of mine tonight. He's married and has a teenage son, his wife is okay with my going out with him. She has other guy friends, he has women friends and they're okay with it. I decided for some reason to do a change. I like changing my appearance a lot with hair, make up and wardrobe, I have a reputation as being kind of a transformer where people don't recognize me at first. So I decided instead of being the tomboy I would glam myself up - I put on make up and flashy clothes like I used to when I was younger. Results? When I opened the door he went "Whoa... You look... Wow." I was not planning to woo him by any means, I just wanted to change myself. As I have been rather ... Down on myself lately, I have not cared much about my appearance either at work or otherwise. I barely wear make up anymore, I don't dress up beyond standard work clothes. Why? I don't want to bother with it when I am at work and I want to look respectable. So the message to all women out there is not to not care about your appearance in this way because people can and will treat you differently when you take more care with your appearance. But I also can't think of something ridiculous. I wrote about this before ... I had a thing for a coworker years ago, yes it was 4 years ago. He rejected me. I walked away and never spoke a word again, I kept my dignity in that situation. But I wonder if I took my care with my appearance around him maybe it would have been different. With not just him but anyone else. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 I went out tonight with a guy friend of mine tonight. He's married and has a teenage son, his wife is okay with my going out with him. She has other guy friends, he has women friends and they're okay with it. I decided for some reason to do a change. I like changing my appearance a lot with hair, make up and wardrobe, I have a reputation as being kind of a transformer where people don't recognize me at first. So I decided instead of being the tomboy I would glam myself up - I put on make up and flashy clothes like I used to when I was younger. Results? When I opened the door he went "Whoa... You look... Wow." I was not planning to woo him by any means, I just wanted to change myself. As I have been rather ... Down on myself lately, I have not cared much about my appearance either at work or otherwise. I barely wear make up anymore, I don't dress up beyond standard work clothes. Why? I don't want to bother with it when I am at work and I want to look respectable. So the message to all women out there is not to not care about your appearance in this way because people can and will treat you differently when you take more care with your appearance. But I also can't think of something ridiculous. I wrote about this before ... I had a thing for a coworker years ago, yes it was 4 years ago. He rejected me. I walked away and never spoke a word again, I kept my dignity in that situation. But I wonder if I took my care with my appearance around him maybe it would have been different. With not just him but anyone else. Appearances are important when it comes to wowing a person. But I think it's also really important to be able to just be yourself. Sunday morning with no makeup and track pants is heavenly. And so is taking off makeup, bra and putting on comfy clothes after a day at work. I think it's about finding a happy medium. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Zapbasket Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 I'm glad you posted this. I've spent the past several years working exclusively in the outdoors industry, and in jobs where my "work clothes" consist of outdoor gear, sweat, smeared (if any) makeup, and matted hair. I feel like I've forgotten how to dress up--and I used to wear skirts and heels every day in my previous life! But I do think it's important to remember that what is attractive physically about you will be attractive even when you're fresh out of bed in your pjs. Especially your face. Nothing reveals pretty features more than a fresh, clean face sans makeup and happy, smiling eyes and mouth. Like Basil67 says, just be yourself. The right guy you can wow just by browsing in a bookstore in your sweats and with a thoughtful look on your face. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 How a woman looks is everything to men. They want you to look like a woman at least part of the time. They want to see your curves and a little but not too much skin. And yes, people treat you different. I think most people who dress down most of the time WANT to be invisible because they're afraid of something. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 I think most people who dress down most of the time WANT to be invisible because they're afraid of something. Nah, we're just being lazy 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 Well, I'm certainly lazy and look horrible most of the time, but I'm at home. I might venture as far as the drive-through. A few weeks ago, I found an injured dog at the side of my house and posted about it on the neighborhood forum and 3 people wanted to come right out and see if they could help (great people for animals around here), and I didn't even have time to shower and change. I was wearing pajama pants and gray long-sleeved Christmas t-shirt. I was so embarrassed. Now I'm wanting to invite them out just so they can see that I do get dressed sometimes.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 I very much appreciate when a woman dresses up for me, and does her hair and makeup, etc. My favorite is when she wears her "little black dress"!! Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 I dress up 90 % of the time. I think we should all look our best. Link to post Share on other sites
Adam80 Posted May 18, 2018 Share Posted May 18, 2018 (edited) Looks are very important to even get the ball rolling. It's a qualifier but not the end all be all. Edited May 18, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted May 18, 2018 Share Posted May 18, 2018 Ha , funny , l love being out and about in my work gear the chicks love it. Yep covered in paint and crap , work boots, old T shirts They voted the tradie look number one here for women . That's why you always see the house wife in movies eyeing off the worker outside or pool cleaner whatever Not that l believe much in movies but that ones actually true take my word for it. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 18, 2018 Share Posted May 18, 2018 yes, men are visually oriented Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 18, 2018 Share Posted May 18, 2018 (edited) Uh, I'm all for doing what makes you feel good and confident... but you decided to "glam up" all of a sudden for a night out alone with a married man???? It doesn't matter whether his wife consented or not (and frankly, unless you know her personally, you can't be sure about that) or that nothing untoward actually happened... IMO it gives the wrong impression. On the other hand, if you dressed like that on a regular basis, that would be a different story. This isn't even just about the wife, but the sort of impression you give people about YOU and your boundaries. If I was a single man and saw a woman doing that, I wouldn't want to enter into a relationship with her. How a woman looks is everything to men. They want you to look like a woman at least part of the time. They want to see your curves and a little but not too much skin. And yes, people treat you different. I think most people who dress down most of the time WANT to be invisible because they're afraid of something. It's about comfort, and how we prioritize our time. For me, I'll put on makeup for a special occasion, but there's no way I'd be willing to spend half an hour every day doing that. Added up, that's 3.5 hours a week, and I can think of a hundred different ways I would want to spend that time, which would be more meaningful or beneficial to me. The men I choose to have relationships with tend to share that point of view. Basically, my principle is that the people who matter won't mind, and the people who mind don't matter. (Within reasonable boundaries, of course, I don't expect people to be okay with me wearing shorts to a fine dining restaurant!) This principle has stood me in good stead in all areas of life, including romantic partnership, so I don't see why I would change. Edited May 18, 2018 by Elswyth Link to post Share on other sites
Fair Posted May 18, 2018 Share Posted May 18, 2018 I get more attention the less I put into my appearance sometimes, so... depends on the guy, I guess. Personally, I want at least some reassurance at least, from men, that I don't always have to look perfect. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 I find that dressing up can be less about presenting a facade to try and "look good" for others, as much as it is presenting the best side of yourself (but still uniquely you). I'll admit I greatly enjoy dressing up for going out to social events or out on the town - it's an expression of my personality and gives me a little extra confidence for talking to people. That being said, I couldn't see myself doing that every day - the novelty wears off. Appearances do matter - and I've found it's the case for everyone (not just women). Link to post Share on other sites
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