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General questions for new relationship...


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General questions for new relationship...

 

So first off, these question are just some issues that I have been dealing with, and none of them are really problems, just stuff I am trying to work out.

 

And I am in no way whining. These are good Issues/Problems to have, it is like having to drive the 2 YO Jag because the new one is in the shop.

 

So new GF is super great in every way, we are supper happy.

 

Issue 1) It is too early to move in together but sometimes it is a problem being apart. Example, we were both sick the last 2 weeks, and we both were too sick to go and take care of the other one, and we ended up seeing each other 2 days in 2 weeks. And it was just a drag.

 

We are only about 30 to 40 minutes apart, but it does take a certain amount of planning to get everyone were we need to be on a given night.

 

She wants to work for another year of 2, and I get that. And she wants to move in with me or we get a new house together, when she does retire. She wants out of her area because it is so, so busy and congested.

 

I plan to work about 4-7 more years.

 

So we are kind of stuck. There may not be a solutions here except grin and bare it.

 

2) We really cannot keep our hands off of each other. And I know that this is a good problem to have.

 

But we are to the point that we are not getting the "adult" things that we need to get done taken care of.

 

This is wonderful, but we cannot spend all of our time in bed every weekend.

 

Not sure how to handle this?

 

3) I am having trouble cooking for less than 5 people. I always make too much.

 

So if it is just me and her, too much food. Even if my youngest is at home eating, still too much. I realize this is stupid of me, but I still cannot think smaller.

 

Compound this with the fact that GF and I are from the generation where you have to finish your plate, well you see the issue.

 

Granted that these are not real problems.

 

But I am having trouble getting all of this going the same direction, at the same time...

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Cut your recipes in half OR make it then take 1/2 and freeze it so you have an easy meal / leftovers another night.

 

 

Exercise some self discipline. When you are at your house, you stop & do your adult things like the laundry or cleaning the bathroom; take her to the food store with you. Similarly let her do what needs to be done at her house. If you both do the chores they will get done faster then with a shared sense of accomplishment you can climb back into bed. If the position of the house allows do the chores naked if you want to spice it up.

 

 

Do leave the discussions about moving in together for later. Do not purchase real estate together. One buys & the other either pays rent or pays the bills.

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Issue 1) It is too early to move in together but sometimes it is a problem being apart. Example, we were both sick the last 2 weeks, and we both were too sick to go and take care of the other one, and we ended up seeing each other 2 days in 2 weeks. And it was just a drag.

 

It sucks but if it just happens once in a while better endure it a couple of times a year than to move in too fast and spoil a perfectly good relationship that just needed a little more time.

 

After a year dating I was ready for my bf to move in and he convinced me it was better to take it slow and wait we can afford a big place together, now 2 years dating I am so glad I listened to him, I can see how we both need our space from time to time and living in my small condo would have probably ruined our relationship.

 

2) We really cannot keep our hands off of each other. And I know that this is a good problem to have. .

 

Maybe unconsciously you are both worried that you don't have much in common outside of bed? You are filling all of your time with what you have in common *your desire for each other* but could it be the only thing you have on common?

 

3) I am having trouble cooking for less than 5 people. I always make too much.

 

I have the exact same problem! I cook for an army! I freeze, I got a bunch of freezer containers to hold 1 meal and freeze our left overs. They are useful on days I don't have time to cook or to carry in our lunch-boxes. If my boyfriend goes back to his place I also will give him left over dish I made and all the desert left-overs.

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What's to stop her from getting her own place nearer your place until such time as you both are ready to move in together?

 

the food -- eat leftovers. I cook only for myself and I eat on it all week. Don't try to eat it all in one sitting and don't try to cook less because it just takes up more time. Cook big a couple of times a week and eat sandwiches in between or quick pasta, etc.

 

Now, eventually you two are going to have to get out of bed. It will probably happen whether you want it to or not that that will go away eventually, well, not all the way away, but the frenzy of it all usually doesn't last. Meanwhile, tell her and talk about it and decide either to not BE with each other as much so you can both get other stuff done, or mutually agree to get up and do things.

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My wife had the problem when we became empty nesters. She struggled adjusting to cook smaller amounts after feeding 3 sons sons and a tribe of there friends. I seriously doubt if its a rare issue

 

It took a month or so but she is not one to be wasteful of food and $$$ having to throw out the excess leftovers. Think of over cooking amounts like it's dollar bills being thrown in the trash or down the garbage disposal.

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What's to stop her from getting her own place nearer your place until such time as you both are ready to move in together?

 

She is literally 10 minutes away from the school she teaches at. So she does not want to leave that area until this retires. I do understand that.

 

If she moved by me she be about an hour each way, maybe 45 mins.

 

Bluespower how long have you been dating?

 

We are almost 6 months, so like I said, too early to move in together.

 

And I know everyone will laugh at me of all people, but we are both in this for the long hall. It is the best R that either of us have every had.

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I don’t have advice for any of the rest… but cooking!

 

 

I learned how to grocery shop and cook dinner for a family of 5 (my parents made it my responsibility as soon as I could drive to the store!), but at home, I have just my husband and I, so I had to adjust. Here are my tips.

 

When I shop, I buy things to make specific meals, which are centered around the protein. Lets say for instance I grab a pound of lean ground beef. Well, we certainly do not need to eat the whole pound between two of us! So I will plan two meals for it. Maybe we will do stuffed sweet potatoes one night, and I will save some of the meat for spaghetti a different night (or freeze the excess raw meat). Or I will cook a 1.2lb pack of chicken thighs, first night we may have some nice braised lemon / caper / wine chicken, and I will saved the cooked leftover meat for a different dish, or shred it for salads, quesadillas etc.

 

When it comes to vegis and sides – I try to remember my eyes are bigger than my stomach and cook reasonable portions. I will grab a handful of green beans and see how much of a plate it takes up – this helps me visualize a good amount to cook. Or I will make a big batch of a certain side dish that keeps. Maybe a cauliflower casserole, or mashed potatoes. This way I just have to cook a little protein, and whip up a green salad, and dinner is ready to go with my left over side dishes.

 

I also like buying meat directly from the butcher case. I don’t need a pack of chicken breasts, I just need one. I don’t need a pack of Italian sausage, I just need one for my pasta sauce. Or maybe two slices of bacon for a recipe, or less than a pound of salmon for the two of us – buying direct from the meat case, I can buy smaller quantities.

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