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Are there any situations in which it would EVER be okay to lie to your S.O.?


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Old 9th February 2018, 6:02 AM   #16
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Deception is so interwoven into the social fabric, and the connotation so negative, that most people don't even realize the extent to which loving couples aren't completely honest, and that doesn't even include the harmless little white lies. I think people are also really good at self-deception and justification. People who believe that they never lie, or that their spouses never lie to them, just aren't dealing with reality in anything close to an objective manner. And this is substantive deception... anyone who doesn't use little white ones as social lubricant isn't going to have friends or be able to fit into social groups.

"DePaulo recently began looking at the less frequent "big" lies that involve deep betrayals of trust, and she's finding that the vast majority of them occur between people in intimate relationships. "You save your really big lies," she says, "for the person that you're closest to."

The Truth About Lying
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Old 9th February 2018, 8:57 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by salparadise View Post
Deception is so interwoven into the social fabric, and the connotation so negative, that most people don't even realize the extent to which loving couples aren't completely honest, and that doesn't even include the harmless little white lies. I think people are also really good at self-deception and justification. People who believe that they never lie, or that their spouses never lie to them, just aren't dealing with reality in anything close to an objective manner. And this is substantive deception... anyone who doesn't use little white ones as social lubricant isn't going to have friends or be able to fit into social groups.

"DePaulo recently began looking at the less frequent "big" lies that involve deep betrayals of trust, and she's finding that the vast majority of them occur between people in intimate relationships. "You save your really big lies," she says, "for the person that you're closest to."

The Truth About Lying
Good to hear from you m8. Hope all is well.

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Originally Posted by Michelle ma Belle View Post


I'm all about honesty and transparency but even I agree there are definitely times and situations where white lies are not only perfectly acceptable but healthy.

I'm horrible at hiding and/or lying about big stuff, important stuff but seem to have no problem with the tiny lies or "redirection" as GT so eloquently explained above.
Maybe I'm just blunt []but I would just tell her the truth. She DID ask after all. It's all in how you say it honestly. Maybe I'm just crazy but I wouldn't wanna date someone so fragile if they asked me my honest opinion and expected me to just say 'the right thing'. IMO that's just BS. If you don't want honest criticism don't ask.
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Old 9th February 2018, 11:02 AM   #18
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My exH thought it beneficial to my well-being not to tell me he was cheating. I found out anyway. That's probably the biggest flaw in trying to lie to your SO or hide something from them; it gets found out one way or the other, eventually.
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Old 9th February 2018, 11:13 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by salparadise View Post
Deception is so interwoven into the social fabric, and the connotation so negative, that most people don't even realize the extent to which loving couples aren't completely honest, and that doesn't even include the harmless little white lies. I think people are also really good at self-deception and justification. People who believe that they never lie, or that their spouses never lie to them, just aren't dealing with reality in anything close to an objective manner. And this is substantive deception... anyone who doesn't use little white ones as social lubricant isn't going to have friends or be able to fit into social groups.

"DePaulo recently began looking at the less frequent "big" lies that involve deep betrayals of trust, and she's finding that the vast majority of them occur between people in intimate relationships. "You save your really big lies," she says, "for the person that you're closest to."

The Truth About Lying

I won't dispute that it goes on quite a bit, but in my experience lying is just too much work as far as crafting the lie itself, remembering to keep the lie consistent, and feeling like an ******* because I lied in the first place. It's pretty much a lesson I learned as a teenager when it seemed like I was always lying to get out of one jam or another.


Telling the truth is almost always, if not flat-out always period, far easier than lying.
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Old 9th February 2018, 12:59 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by GorillaTheater View Post
I won't dispute that it goes on quite a bit, but in my experience lying is just too much work as far as crafting the lie itself, remembering to keep the lie consistent, and feeling like an ******* because I lied in the first place. It's pretty much a lesson I learned as a teenager when it seemed like I was always lying to get out of one jam or another.


Telling the truth is almost always, if not flat-out always period, far easier than lying.


Science has shown that it actually is a lot easier to lie than to just tell the truth I think because when you lie you gotta consciously think about what you wanna lie about, whereas when you just tell the truth it's more natural and you don't gotta think too hard about it.
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