Mysterio Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 When you look at your life and the dynamics of your family and friends and others you know. Should finding a love match really be this hard. Or are we making it hard on ourselves. My parents met and maried and had kids in a very short timespan. Met in 1968. Married in Winter of 1969 and had me in 1971 and my brother in 1973. Is there something different today than in the past. Seems like there is something different today. Are we being socialized into being very picky. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 Big world, billions of people, most easily reached. That same dynamic also brings more distractions, one we see daily with this forum, something that didn't exist when your, or my, parents met. More time-sucks. Less time to meet real people in the real world. It all adds up. Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 I once had the chance after high school. was introduced by family. as picky as me, I found nothing wrong with the guy... super smart and good looking and accommodating... but I was an independent and secretly rebellion (didn't like the idea of introduce, that seems so lame..). marriage seemed like totally something from another planet at that time for me. I just wasn't a mature and wise person. I kid life. Only if I knew what I know now.........sigh...I probably have teenage kids now...guess I am who I am... our awareness, mindset and character do determine our fate. Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 If I could turn back time...after we learnt the lessons, it was too late Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 Of course , the world needs to go backward not forward. Every thing now is shallow and over exposed , completely desensitized throw away me me me mentality . It's everywhere, all over media . all through net forums , the mentality and thinking is shot to shyt. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 If I could turn back time...after we learnt the lessons, it was too late Same here . if l could go anywhere l wanted l'd turn back time not forward. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 "Poor craftsmen blame their tools" TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 4, 2018 Share Posted February 4, 2018 (edited) People have more options, and I don't mean people to date. Women have more opportunity to do more with their life than finding a man and having babies. They can hold off on having a family (birth control), have a career, support themselves, buy a house, travel. They can have a baby without being with a man through artificial insemination. They can simply choose not to get married and have kids and live independently, have multiple partners during their life span. Same with men.....there is no more pressure to have a wife and kids. People can do whatever they want.....getting married and all that crap is not the end all be all anymore. Edited February 4, 2018 by smackie9 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nospam99 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Is there something different today than in the past. Seems like there is something different today. Are we being socialized into being very picky. Hell YES. At the risk of chanting what is probably a MGTOW mantra, 'Women's Lib' has broken the traditional family paradigm of the industrialized West. It is so hard, in part, because people no longer HAVE TO couple up to have children and economic stability. Ironically with all the other global social and economic changes, the two-adult earner families of today often have a lower material standard of living than the 'daddy works/mommy keeps house' families of the fifties and sixties. Nevertheless they, especially the women, may be more emotionally and psychologically content than their parents were. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 (edited) On the other side of the coin....women are happier today because they have choices that our mothers or grandmothers didn't have and had to stay in a unhappy marriage because they had no other options. Plus it's about income... a 1/4 of a man's income could support a family and pay a mortgage in the 50's....now you need two incomes, and that isn't enough these days. At 53 I would love to be a stay at home housewife lol. I'm tired of the rat race. I'm so done. Edited February 5, 2018 by smackie9 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 (edited) From what I see of those around me who are meeting people, it doesn't look like that many are truly struggling. I think there are probably a few common elements common to those who do struggle share. People who have one or more of these traits will struggle. 1. Uses OLD. It's ruthless! 2. Too choosy 3. Too focused on appearance 4. Poor social skills 5. Unresolved baggage 6. Workaholic 7. Game playing Mysterio, you mentioned in this thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/651545-guys-what-personality-type-do-you-liketoday that among other things you want a late 30's woman who's not in a hurry for marriage and children. Now a woman this age has a rapidly decreasing fertility. If she wants kids one day, she doesn't have time to waste. Which means that she won't meet your criteria. After ruling these women out, that leaves a very small pool to find a woman who meets your other requirements. Edited February 5, 2018 by basil67 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 It sucks to be a woman nowadays. You studied hard and work hard like a man, while at the same time you have the biology burdens that men don't have. Worse, there are more women than men in many big cities. no idea why many women seem to enjoy being a woman. I only see disadvantages. life sucks. being a woman sucks more. Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyKatLady Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 When I was young, I never dreamed of marriage or kids. I have one kid now and I am 35 and have dated two men in the span of a little under a decade. I love my son with everything in me, but as a young girl, I dreamed of a career and not of partnership. I wanted success for myself, not male attention. But, that being said, I did meet one man in my life that I would not have had to think about for more than a minute to fully acknowledge that there would be great chemistry and he was someone who could drop me to my knees in an instant and whom I could marry a million times over and could probably never get disinterested in. Apparently, he needed more than a second to feel the same about me though, to figure out if I was right or not...I assume I was not right for him, because,...well,...I am here on this forum in the middle of the night and early morning hours and nobody is stopping me or telling me to go to bed. Now, I am back to my original plan...Taking over the world! J/K Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 My great grandma stated with a man who belittled her. It would be been tough being a single mom of ten kids. I'm glad women no longer have to suffer through that. Oh yes, we also found out he cheated on her in a very embarrassing way. I could make a thread complaining how men have changed, and not for the better... I live in a rural-ish area, and many people got married early. Some of the people who got married 'late' married a college sweetheart or someone they met in high school. When people date too much, it can ruin them. I've had 12 years of dating craziness. I'm about done. Also, the more someone dates, the more they expect out of a partner. People start wanting contradictory things. The new person may remind them of an ex from 15 years ago. Basically, to be worthy person in question, one needs to have all the good traits of anyone that person has dated but none of their faults. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mysterio Posted February 5, 2018 Author Share Posted February 5, 2018 My thing is this looking on my life. When I make the effort. It feels like the universe does not want me making any type of conscious effort to meet a love match. When I don't make that effort. I have had women make the moves on me, its just that I will never know when it comes. I am not socially awkward or ugly or anything like that. So I don't know why things are the way they are. So I always go why is it so hard to meet great dating matches. Yet I feel like I lucked out with family and friends. Others don't have that. Link to post Share on other sites
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