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What do men find attractive


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A question for the ladies...

 

What do you think men find attractive in women?

 

A question for the men...

 

Are the ladies right in what they feel men find attractive?

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Almost every answer will be right, but the inconsistencies arise during the practical application. People often rationalize, but when it comes to real life application, it seldom turns out as expected because most people are incapable of rationalizing emotions. It is usually one or the other, so even though most can list the things that they want and like, what they end up with will not necessarily always align well with the list, if at all.

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We are 7 billions on earth so there are 7 billions answers to this question.

 

my, we're getting sort of philosophical Gaeta :laugh:

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somanymistakes
A question for the ladies...

 

What do you think men find attractive in women?

 

 

That she's breathing. Very few men are attracted to women who don't breathe. :laugh:

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LOL because I love this type of question. Years ago my eldest son and I watched a documentary on TV. A whole lot of fluff but the bottom line 'greatest' factor: women find height attractive in a man, men find waist to hip ratio attractive in a woman. For me that is spot on although it is not my only factor. I believe there are sufficient studies that conclude humans are generally attracted to physical cues in a candidate mate that suggest that candidate will be likely to produce and raise healthy children. For me, aside from that waist to hip ratio, I find good teeth and long hair attractive. I've seen both cited as health cues. My personal preferences include factors which I don't recall considered health cues: a pretty face, a thin (NOT anorexic) or athletic body, and height neither taller than me nor more than about eight inches shorter. I think my preferences are rather 'conventional'.

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Most men who have expressed that they are attracted to me said it was because of my mind. My attitude. The way I carry myself.

 

And honestly, if that isn't the main thing that draws someone to me, I wouldn't be that interested in him.

 

My value isn't in the shape of my butt, or the color of my hair. Sure those can be pluses, but I want my brain - what I consider "me" to be #1.

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A question for the ladies...

 

What do you think men find attractive in women?

 

A question for the men...

 

Are the ladies right in what they feel men find attractive?

 

Mature & divorced, widowed or bored married. Slightly overweight and/or nearing end of their shelf life so wanting to relive a more exciting bad youth (that they never really had). Thus emotionally vulnerable.

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I don't know where to even start so I better make a concise post.

 

Smart, confident, kind and attractive in that order.

 

I honestly don't care for a model thats a complete and utter [insert any demeaning word for an obnoxious woman]. I haven't had many super atttactive women. What make them attractive is the chemistry between me and her, so as gaeta said. All replies will be valid.

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Far be it from me to discourage discussion and page views of this web site but unless my reading comprehension has failed, here's the request for male input in this thread:

A question for the men...

 

Are the ladies right in what they feel men find attractive?

 

From my current review of the thread, there's practically no female input to compare ;)

 

Guys, feel free to start a thread about what you individually find attractive in a woman. Threads are free. Thanks!

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And now you see why men answer that question the way we do. Can't be completely honest when we are asked questions like this.

 

Your value may very well not be the shape of your butt, but that is likely what makes men want to be with you. Just as so many people on this site like to say, there has to be some attraction. Otherwise, that wonderful mind of yours is just enough to put you firmly in the friendzone.

 

Okay this is going to be a terrible humble brag.

 

I would say my ass is perhaps what they first notice, but not what makes them want to BE with me (eh, my face is better than my ass anyway).

 

Its after they talk to me at a bit that they get all googly eyed (and after I make it clear that I am not single) they start to ask where they can meet a woman like me. One that thinks like me. I am a Tom Boy in a feminine body. I have been told (even by people on this site) - that I "think like a man". And my interest are generally more in line with men's interest (rather talk about the advantages of a 5 speed transmission rather than fashion trends)

 

My husbands friends often speak about how "cool" and or smart I am, and how they want to find someone similar. They don't say they want to find someone who looks like me, they say they want to find someone who thinks like me.

 

There is even a word for it being thrown around now, "Sapiosexual":

 

Sapiosexuals: Why We're Scientifically Attracted To Intelligent People (she speaks my language)

 

I am most definitely one, I will not suffer a fool.

 

And I tend to be attracted to them, men who value a sharp conversation over the most stunning beauty in the room. Sure, many would like to have both, but when push comes to shove, its that brilliant mind, the seduction of it that gets me going... and I know I have been able to work some men from the same angle.

 

The ones who just think I am "hot" bore me instantly.

 

Now of course, that doesn't mean that looks do not matter. Of course they do - and if I looked like a used up hag, I am sure those young men wouldn't get so googly eyed.

 

My body is not hot enough to get me far, I have better assets.

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A question for the ladies...

 

What do you think men find attractive in women?

 

 

That is a very attractive trait. IMO, many relationships fall apart because men and women have so little in common. Tough to find a decent looking girl with mutual interests.

 

I used to date a girl like that ages ago. Cute girl, but she was totally into guy stuff. I told her that hanging out with her was like chilling with one of my best guy friends if he were to have a great set of.....ahh assets. Best way to describe her.

 

So then you do not really disagree with me? Maybe its because I was raised by a single dad who told me I was a bad ass - I don't know, but I have always been in the boys club. I was the only female invited to a bachelor party before.

 

Pair that with some decent looks - for some men its a very attractive trait. Not for all though - I think some want more ying to their yang. More feminine qualities than I have.

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Okay I agree.... There is too ugly to be over come by personality.

 

On the other hand it's my personality that allows me to separate myself from the other "average" chicks.

 

(Oh, and D&D would send me running - goes both ways).

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RC, I feel like we have some things in common, or maybe I just hope we do. lol

 

I think first it's my ass and possibly an overall womanly shape. (I think a lot of guys are immediately turned off because I'm not skinny, but there are some guys who go crazy over my shape.) But a close second is that I'm friendly, open, and adventurous. I smile and laugh and like people. I'm generous in terms of how accepting I am of all kinds of people. (I don't mean I'll date all kinds of people. I do have a pretty narrow set of traits that I seem to really go for.)

 

My ex-h was very much about how smart/insightful I was and his identity is all about being super intelligent (he's a law professor and totally has that goofy inept but brilliant prof thing going on). Since we broke up I have tried to get away from all that. I think a lot of the guys I've dated since ex either didn't notice/care that I was bright or have been intimidated by it. I do worry that someday I'm gonna realize I shouldnt have eschewed that whole part of myself.

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And now you see why men answer that question the way we do. Can't be completely honest when we are asked questions like this.

 

 

 

Your value may very well not be the shape of your butt, but that is likely what makes men want to be with you. Just as so many people on this site like to say, there has to be some attraction. Otherwise, that wonderful mind of yours is just enough to put you firmly in the friendzone.

 

This is spot on. I’ve dated and met several cool women with common interests, but the attraction was not there so it went no where.

 

I’ve also dated insanely beautiful women with a lack of common ground, they went no where as well.

 

From a guy’s perspective, you need common interests (doesn’t have to be the same hobbies; say you like a woman to cook and she loves to cook, you want someone to dominate and she is submissive, etc). Once those are there most only require the bare minimum level of attraction in her. She doesn’t have to be a supermodel, her looks will get better (in your eyes) as you bond.

 

I recall this one girl I dated earlier this year - she could have been a fitness model (and was well aware of it). After a month with her I couldn’t stand her any longer. A woman half as attractive with more of the personality qualities I like would have lasted much longer.

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I think men like every kind of woman.

 

Not every man likes every kind of woman, but I agree that whatever the woman, there’s a man out there who has to have her.

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Not every man likes every kind of woman, but I agree that whatever the woman, there’s a man out there who has to have her.

 

I agree. I don't like using logic when explaining attraction, but I find this works. Not everyone is "conventionally" attractive but almost everyone ends up in a relationship at some point in their lives. Therefore almost everyone is attractive to someone.

 

I find people who come across as fun and bubbly attractive - but that's rather subjective as everyone's sense of "fun" is different. Which just goes to show how individual everyone is.

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I think young women are less likely to know what really makes them attractive to men. A casual glance of social media often leaves me feeling many are totally clueless.

 

Middle age women are usually very clear about what turns men on, but by that age they no longer care. ?

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I agree. I don't like using logic when explaining attraction, but I find this works. Not everyone is "conventionally" attractive but almost everyone ends up in a relationship at some point in their lives. Therefore almost everyone is attractive to someone.

 

I find people who come across as fun and bubbly attractive - but that's rather subjective as everyone's sense of "fun" is different. Which just goes to show how individual everyone is.

 

Funny, I don’t care for women people find “fun”. Rather I’m attracted to women who are more concerned with responsibility than having a good time. My sister, and friends commented on how much fun this girl I dated was - it was rooted in irresponsibility and a huge turn off for me.

 

And to clarify my statement, I think what I said was true for women, not for men. Many men can go dateless due to their inability to be attractive to women.

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I think men like every kind of woman.

I'll comment on this because of having two experiences recently, markedly different ones, where it wasn't 'every' kind of woman and then, one where there was only one woman in the room.

 

First, the woman everyone loves to love.... tall, lithe, actually worked in the modeling industry nationally until going to medical school. Beautiful lady, warm, friendly, even to an old fart like me. Hugging her is like hugging my now departed mother. Nothing. I could spend a month of Sundays trying to work up some male hormonal stuff for her and actually have thought about it since I've known her for a few years but nada. No worries though, she's married to an equally beautiful man ;)

 

Then there's the friend.... same result but different reason. She's a lesbian. However, even before I knew that, there was nothing. No fire in the loins, no sparkle in the eyes, no buzz in the balls with the polite hugs and kisses and other social niceties. Just a lady a little younger than me who's really a good person and occasionally frustrated with finding a partner. My hugs can't really help her I guess.

 

Lastly, the eyes across the room, actually the bar area at the local Vets hall. One glance and I wanted to kiss her immediately. Turned out she knew my best friend's wife and actually runs a town, if a lady can run a town. I guess she's probably pushing 70 but had this soft Bohemian look and we just kinda looked at each other and, heh, that was fun. Even my best friend's wife noticed and commented later. Usually I only have eyes for her ;)

 

So, one out of three. Gray hair and all. Oh, well. There's a lot to be said for remembering a name and I rarely remember a name.

 

So, what do men find attractive? I guess I'll read the thread and find out. I haven't a clue, rather just feel it if/when it happens. Heh.

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As Gaeta said, 7 billion answers and none are right or wrong. :p

 

For me, personally, I can only speak for one couple out of billions, and only from what the SO has told me.

- He has a thing for intelligent women, and he loves my mind and my curiosity about the universe around us

- He likes that we have several interests in common, a few of which are usually male-dominated

- He likes the sex we have :laugh:

- He likes how we have still been able to talk and laugh for hours on end, so many years after we first got together

 

(Verbal compliments are clearly not his forte, haha!)

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Pair that with some decent looks - for some men its a very attractive trait. Not for all though - I think some want more ying to their yang. More feminine qualities than I have.

 

 

I am one of those sapiosexual men who is primarily attracted to a woman's mind, and yes you're right about needing some physical attraction as well. I don't need conventionally attractive.

 

I think the need for physical attraction is biological, and the need for intelligence is probably from social learning, parents and upbringing, plus the experiences I've had with women over the years.

 

I like a tomboyish woman (in a certain way) who can hold her own in a group of guys, but if she has primarily masculine energy it won't work––she needs to have decidedly feminine energy and be attracted to refined masculine energy (not the coarse, macho man variety).

 

When it's time to be intimate, I definitely want her to be the yen for my yang. In day-to-day interactions, I want her to have an opinion of her own and to be able to stand toe to toe. Being good with language and able to support a position with a rational argument is attractive. Emotional reasoning, standing on a whackadoodle argument, with false confidence is not. She should be open to discussion and able to see (willing to acknowledge) various sides of multifaceted issues.

 

No wonder it's so hard for me to find someone. I wish I could get over the physical attraction part––I live in a place that produces advanced degrees by the thousands. If I didn't need a certain amount of physical attraction, and a certain kind of feminine energy, I would have so many options available. But it is what it is and there's no point in denying it.

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Attraction doesn't just come in one form.

 

Physical attraction is one thing.

Emotional attraction is different.

Mental attraction is also different.

 

Talking about the three all together will always promote disagreements and the need to over-explain to a ridiculous level.

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