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I just destroyed another engagement


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Old 30th December 2017, 6:34 PM   #46
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Originally Posted by usa1ah View Post
I am going to disagree just a little with this. Something triggered your fight or flight response during your argument. If you don’t punch people as a everyday thing or this was the first time this has happened. The response was there because of something.

Or you have watched to many tv shows where this has happened and you were conditioned to do it at that point in the argument.
I've never punch anyone in my life. That was the first time ever. It will be the last too.
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Old 30th December 2017, 6:36 PM   #47
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I've never punch anyone in my life. That was the first time ever. It will be the last too.
That's exactly what you said the last time.
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Old 30th December 2017, 7:24 PM   #48
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That's exactly what you said the last time.
I didn't punch him the last time though. I had knocked a couple empty coffee cups and flower vase off the table, which they all broke. Up to that point, I haven't hit anyone yet.
A month later, on the next argument is when I punched him.
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Old 30th December 2017, 10:15 PM   #49
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Because some of my best friends growing up we’re boys I got in a scuffle with or fought by their side.

Sorry but today’s society is raising a bunch of pansies. I was brought up with no blood no foul. We played and played rough. Back yard football was full contact. We were boys, camping, fishing and swimming. I never got into hunting, never could pull the trigger on a deer. Did shoot some coyotes that killed my cat though. Anyway, I guess some people are brought up different then others.

I also believe one more thing, if someone is being a **** because they know they can get away with it. That no one is going to do anything like stop them. What was the phrase he used, what you going to do hit me. Well I did, he stopped be a **** after that. Yes this happened in my early 20’s and maybe shouldn’t have but I did. The thing is we got along pretty good afterwards. Buying a beer after it happened could have helped with that.

Scuffles and backyard football is different. I played full contact football, kickboxed/boxed, full contact sparred as a karate student and instructor, and have even been in a few bar fights. Here is the thing, fighting is still not the thing to do. I'm 6'1, in my 20s I was 205 lbs with a 315 lbs bench press, and a 455 lbs dead lift. I say this to point out, I could have hospitalized or killed the guys in those scuffles and I would have gone to jail. Fights are never fair and pushing someone to their limit is stupid. When I was in college a basketball player put a kid in coma over some dumb bar fight stuff. Nowadays, I only fight if I need and someone is likely going to the hospital if I do. Frankly, losing my career over a dumb charge is not worth it.
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Old 30th December 2017, 10:25 PM   #50
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Originally Posted by AlteredStarrling View Post
Our argument was about our jobs and his meddling parents. He kept working on double shifts sometimes and as a result would come later; that would result in little time for intimacy. His mother's frequent calls asking how everything was going and too many other questions bothered me. In my mind all I could think of is ''Geez let your child breath already, he's not a little kid living with you''.

I just remembered an incident I didn't mention and perhaps this is the foreshadow towards the punch. A month prior to that, we had an argument in the morning. After a very stressful day at his workplace, he informed me that he was going to have a couple drinks with his friends and come home right away, which he did. I was sleeping by then.
The following day, I was upset that he chose to hang out with his friends instead of coming home right away. He argued that he hardly even drinks (true, he's not the type to drink a lot) and that he still has time for me now. At that moment I yelled ''that's not enough'' and knocked a couple empty coffee cups and flower vase off the table, all of them fell on the floor and broke. I apologized and he dismissed that.
The psych ward helped a lot at the time. My diagnose was borderline disorder. I slept on a small sofa the first night and then it was on the bed the following days. I was integrated with others who had problems growing up; my support group. We began talking and sharing our experiences. It was a good experience overall.
I know and yes you're right. Lately I've been obsessing about getting older and not making it on time to form a family. I wasn't that obsessed when I was younger.
Some advice for you to do with as you please, Borderline personality disorder is not something that will "cured" with a few trips to the psych ward. It is a chronic issue that requires ongoing attention if you are going to have healthy relationships. Do some reading and speak to a professional about your goals.
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Old 30th December 2017, 11:25 PM   #51
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Scuffles and backyard football is different. I played full contact football, kickboxed/boxed, full contact sparred as a karate student and instructor, and have even been in a few bar fights. Here is the thing, fighting is still not the thing to do. I'm 6'1, in my 20s I was 205 lbs with a 315 lbs bench press, and a 455 lbs dead lift. I say this to point out, I could have hospitalized or killed the guys in those scuffles and I would have gone to jail. Fights are never fair and pushing someone to their limit is stupid. When I was in college a basketball player put a kid in coma over some dumb bar fight stuff. Nowadays, I only fight if I need and someone is likely going to the hospital if I do. Frankly, losing my career over a dumb charge is not worth it.
I never said I enjoyed fighting. But I happens at times. I don’t think I have ever been in a down and out fight. Always wanted to train though just never seem to have time. Most of my stupidity I got out in my early 20’s. Not much of anything sense then.

I totally agree with you’re last sentence, differently not worth losing ones livelihood.
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