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Old 28th December 2017, 1:46 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by usa1ah View Post
Sorry I donít agree with this. Some people do. Never a man hitting a woman mind you.
What a ridiculous and sexist thing to say. It's never ok for a man to hit a woman, but sometimes it's ok for a woman to hit a man if they "deserve it"?

That is some really twisted logic.
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Old 28th December 2017, 2:26 AM   #17
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Sorry I donít agree with this. Some people do. Never a man hitting a woman mind you.
Ridiculous. The only time a person ever "deserves" to be punched in the face is in self defense (e.g. if he was actively trying to rape her). Clearly that is not the case in the OP.

For everything else, the only thing they "deserve" is to be dumped to the curb.
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Old 28th December 2017, 6:13 AM   #18
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Ridiculous. The only time a person ever "deserves" to be punched in the face is in self defense (e.g. if he was actively trying to rape her). Clearly that is not the case in the OP.

For everything else, the only thing they "deserve" is to be dumped to the curb.
To be fair I can kinda see where he's coming from in the sense that men generally are stronger than women, but you're right no one deserves to get hit and in self defense gender is completely irrelevant.
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Old 28th December 2017, 9:45 AM   #19
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Maybe he deserved it?

There are people out there that do.
Why would a loved one deserve it?
I was never in any danger when this happened.
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Old 28th December 2017, 9:50 AM   #20
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Sorry I donít agree with this. Some people do. Never a man hitting a woman mind you.
It should be assault either way. I did something very wrong and the consequence is losing a wonderful person for good. If he wanted to he could have charged me with assault, which I would have admitted to it.
I'm trying to understand your logic but really can't. If I were the one getting hit, many people would say leave ASAP. He's doing what I would have done too.
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Old 28th December 2017, 9:51 AM   #21
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Sorry I donít agree with this. Some people do. Never a man hitting a woman mind you.
Yeah, OP is lucky she didn't punch the wrong man. Some men would have punched her back.
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Old 28th December 2017, 9:59 AM   #22
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Yeah, OP is lucky she didn't punch the wrong man. Some men would have punched her back.
I'm aware of that too and still feel terrible even if he didn't punch me back. I'm going to accept that he's not ever coming back and work on myself again.

Hopefully I can once again get back on track and form a family one day. I already lost two engagements for my own bad actions, my stupidity. The first for cheating and this one for asssault.
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Old 28th December 2017, 10:07 AM   #23
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Ridiculous. The only time a person ever "deserves" to be punched in the face is in self defense (e.g. if he was actively trying to rape her). Clearly that is not the case in the OP.
Thank you for standing firm with your stance. I can't really understand why is my assault justified to certain individuals. During our whole relationship, I never felt threatened nor in danger. This was an argument gone totally wrong where I punched him in anger.
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For everything else, the only thing they "deserve" is to be dumped to the curb.
Indeed. For instance, my 1st fiance dumped me when I cheated on him. He didn't confronted me till a couple days later. I was foolish at the time thinking he wouldn't find out.
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Old 28th December 2017, 12:06 PM   #24
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It should be assault either way. I did something very wrong and the consequence is losing a wonderful person for good. If he wanted to he could have charged me with assault, which I would have admitted to it.
I'm trying to understand your logic but really can't. If I were the one getting hit, many people would say leave ASAP. He's doing what I would have done too.
I'm very glad you realize this, and I hope that you will be able to successfully work on your violence/anger issues. Have you spoken to a mental health professional about this? They may be able to offer help that we can't.

Wishing you all the best.
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Old 28th December 2017, 2:04 PM   #25
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I haven't read all the responses just your post. My take is you have strong emotions that you need to learn to control. You may have a mental health issue underlying it. But violence is never ok, and not knowing where it comes from says you were out of control with wanting to prove your point.
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Old 28th December 2017, 7:32 PM   #26
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Sorry I donít agree with this. Some people do. Never a man hitting a woman mind you.
Curious to hear why you don't agree the idea that it is not right to hit anyone. If you think women should hit men, that is certainly sexist and stupid. Hit someone(anyone) else at the risk of losing your own life. Hit someone bigger and they may just snap and hit you back harder. Being small is no excuse for a lack of self control.

To the OP, I agree with what others have said, you say you have worked through your issues. However, present circumstances disagree with your assessment. Healing is a lifelong process. Work through it with a professional. You may need to be more aware in your next relationship of continuing to work through issues as you progress in your relationship to avoid repeating this pattern. There is a reason you won't allow yourself to be happy.
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Old 28th December 2017, 11:16 PM   #27
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I haven't read all the responses just your post. My take is you have strong emotions that you need to learn to control. You may have a mental health issue underlying it. But violence is never ok, and not knowing where it comes from says you were out of control with wanting to prove your point.
I agree there is never a good excuse to get violent except in self-defense, which this wasn't the case and for that I can't be in any relationship at this point.
I'm coming to an understanding where it's coming from and it's among the various things I've listed on my previous post. Though none of that excuses it just like it didn't excuse my past cheating.

I must admit there is something worrying me at this moment. I'm currently 30 years old and clearly not getting any younger. I would love to form a family one day but have to solve my issues at a faster pace. I can't take too long.
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Old 28th December 2017, 11:30 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by Sanman View Post
Curious to hear why you don't agree the idea that it is not right to hit anyone. If you think women should hit men, that is certainly sexist and stupid. Hit someone(anyone) else at the risk of losing your own life. Hit someone bigger and they may just snap and hit you back harder. Being small is no excuse for a lack of self control.
Indeed it's not ok to hit anyone. I'm shocked there still exist sexism towards violence.
I must say I'm not really a small woman; 5'9 while he's 6ft.
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To the OP, I agree with what others have said, you say you have worked through your issues. However, present circumstances disagree with your assessment. Healing is a lifelong process. Work through it with a professional. You may need to be more aware in your next relationship of continuing to work through issues as you progress in your relationship to avoid repeating this pattern. There is a reason you won't allow yourself to be happy.
I just hope to one day really settle down and have kids. I'm already 30 years old and this worries me.
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Old 28th December 2017, 11:34 PM   #29
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Have you spoken to a mental health professional about this? They may be able to offer help that we can't.

Wishing you all the best.
I'll be booking up an appointment shortly after New Year. Thank you Elswyth.

I'm afraid I disappoint my parents again. I've received the great scolding of my life back then in 2013 for the cheating. This time, they just shook their heads in silence.
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Old 28th December 2017, 11:53 PM   #30
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Stay positive. You sound fairly capable of self-reflection and learning from mistakes. You always learn lessons from a failed relationship. Just make sure you take them on board and don't repeat the same mistakes, and you'll be fine. Many people aren't even capable of figuring out that they did anything wrong. You don't have that problem.
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