Whats is the definition of a slut?

[st8toftheheart]

This applies to both men and women.

 

What used to be the traditional definition of the word seems to no longer apply.

 

In many of the posts I have read, its clear that sleeping with multiple partners, which was the general use of the term way back when, no longer constitutes being a slut. So what classifies a slut? Does it even exist anymore?

 

I mean someone who is sexually active with numerous partners doesn't seem the fit the bill and most agree that to each is own and so on, but this term still gets thrown around.

 

Second part of the question.

 

Scenario. Someone you meet is very comfortable sexually, and as such has had mutiple partners with extentsive exprience with not only intercourse but other "intimate" activities. Also the manner they went through those esperiences were somewhat different than yours.

 

Would that ever stop you from exploring a relationship with this person if in your mind this is what the definition of a slut is?

[Caidy]

Moimeme did some kind of funky thread on this last summer at some point. It was a delightful debate, maybe if you ask her she'll remember the name of the thread.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I have found that 'slut' is what people call other sexually active people when they are on the losing and/or envious end of the situation. Just another way for people to judge others when they have a need inside to judge others for whatever reason.

 

There is a deeply ingrained sense of ownership over a woman's vagina when it comes to relationships - in that we are expected to restrict its usage to just one person (in a heterosexual context, mind you), and conform our desires and human needs to an artificial set of moral standards that we as a people have built for ourselves in a vain effort to deny the fact of what we biologically are. We spend less time fitting the morals into our humanity, and more time boxing up our humanity into a strict and ridged set of values that try as they might, a good deal of people just can't live up to.

 

The result? An inner conflict that ultimately leads to emotional problems. Casual sex becomes a way of self punishment in a need to feel 'bad' for not being 'normal', and a person who has a lot of casual sex is almost always branded as "mentally ill" - when the illness comes not from the act, but the prejudices and self-hatred that comes from the inability to fit these human acts into a standard of "normal".

 

Monogamy no longer becomes a conscious choice between two people, but a crushing obligation that causes people to bury their natural needs and desires under a ton of guilt when they find themselves having sexual urges or wants/needs outside of the committed relationship - and so, instead of coming to their partners with their valid fears about what they are feeling as a human being - they have affairs. Monogamy is a choice. So is having multiple partners. People fail to see that though.

 

Monogamy doesn't just 'happen' - it has to be chosen, and the choice has to be made every day in a committed relationship - even by people who would not dream of having multiple partners. Monogamy can never, ever be taken for granted. Choosing otherwise - choosing to be with multiple partners is a bold choice - the conscious choice to have multiple partners and have it be a healthy thing for one to do requires a lot of self-esteem and inner strength - the strength to realize that it is a choice, and not an escape or form of self-punishment.

 

People can say "but its about the safety/disease" all they want, and partially it is and is a valid concern - but really, the unease comes primarily on the moral side of things. I personally don't like the idea of people wantonly spreading around diseases they have through unsafe sex, but that's more of a problem with their sense of personal responsibility that should come when one has multiple sexual partners - rather than the fact that they have multiple sexual partners.

 

Would I date a slut? Sure, if the sex was safe and I was fairly sure I was with someone who was consciously choosing to be this way, and not using me as a way to punish themselves for not being a "normal monogamous" person.

[laRubiaBonita]

a slut is someone who does not respect themselves. as such, they use sex to try and gain some sort of acceptance(?) or there own skewed concept of respect.

[JadeStar]

I guess the word "slut" means different things to different people.

 

 

Someone who provides a needed service for the community by sleeping with everyone, even the person that has no shot at getting laid and everyone knows it. They will give the other person a sympathy f*ck either because someone has asked them too or they just like to f*ck everyone they know. I always heard a "whore" got paid and a slut didn't, but not sure.

 

 

Jade

[st8toftheheart]

Originally posted by laRubiaBonita

a slut is someone who does not respect themselves. as such, they use sex to try and gain some sort of acceptance(?) or there own skewed concept of respect.

 

That's very interesting. So perphaps a person with low self esteem who is looking to be loved uses sex in order to be accepted?

[NutellaGirl]

I looked for a defination and this is what i came accross....

 

"Slut is a slang term used to indicate a person who has frequent sexual relationships with different people, especially short-term affairs. Coming from the late Middle English slutte (meaning "mud") the term is usually applied to women (and can compared to the more negative slag), but is often used in the gay male and bisexual communities about people who are promiscuous in that they have, or are reputed to have, many sexual partners, or whose sexuality is voracious, indiscriminate, and shameful."

[laRubiaBonita]

Originally posted by st8toftheheart

 

 

That's very interesting. So perphaps a person with low self esteem who is looking to be loved uses sex in order to be accepted?

maybe....but Not to Generalize!

 

I think it just depends on that individuals MO, as to whether their actions exemplify slutty behaviour. And then it depends on who is defining that behavior, cause i bet everyone will think something a little different.

[st8toftheheart]

Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia

I have found that 'slut' is what people call other sexually active people when they are on the losing and/or envious end of the situation. Just another way for people to judge others when they have a need inside to judge others for whatever reason.

 

Its interesting the approach you took.

 

First you gave your definition of what a slut means to you, and then defending the actions of a society views as a slut.

[tiki]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t48421/

 

This outta keep you busy.

[st8toftheheart]

Originally posted by laRubiaBonita

maybe....but Not to Generalize!

 

I think it just depends on that individuals MO, as to whether their actions exemplify slutty behaviour. And then it depends on who is defining that behavior, cause i bet everyone will think something a little different.

 

Very true. But its so hard to tell when you are not sure what a slut really means. You can look it up in websters, and that definition can be said for most people today. Go way back then and tell them that the average number of partners today is 30, they'd think it was sodom and gomora.

 

I still have alot of traditional values instilled with me, but at the same time I can be open enough to accept some change to that.

 

I don't know. This is a real toughy for me.

[Pocky]

Originally posted by tiki

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t48421/

 

This outta keep you busy.

 

Some things never die.

[tiki]

I think we lost 1/3 of the LS population on that thread. Then 1/3 more on the Legalize Drugs thread.

 

 

A slut is whatever you think it is. Almost everyone's definition will be different. And yes, the sluts will get offended. So let's not even go there.

[ConfusedInOC]

Originally posted by st8toftheheart

In many of the posts I have read, its clear that sleeping with multiple partners, which was the general use of the term way back when, no longer constitutes being a slut. So what classifies a slut? Does it even exist anymore?

 

Having sex for pleasure outside of marriage would be the exact definition. Multiple partners just compounds it.

 

I mean someone who is sexually active with numerous partners doesn't seem the fit the bill and most agree that to each is own and so on, but this term still gets thrown around.

 

Second part of the question.

 

Scenario. Someone you meet is very comfortable sexually, and as such has had multiple partners with extensive experience with not only intercourse but other "intimate" activities. Also the manner they went through those esperiences were somewhat different than yours.

 

Would that ever stop you from exploring a relationship with this person if in your mind this is what the definition of a slut is?

 

 

Yes, but I follow the standards God set for me. If someone had multiple partners and still couldn't find happiness, that's a great sign they're looking for it in the wrong places.

 

Women use sex to gain the approval of men but in fact, it serves the opposite effect. It doesn't make men like them more, it makes them disrespect them even more.

 

Men use sex as a means to solidify their manhood. It makes them "feel" like men. However, I can say from my own personal experiences that sex without love is completely ungratifying and boring. Sex with someone I love deeply has been the most rewarding experience.

[st8toftheheart]

Originally posted by tiki

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t48421/

 

This outta keep you busy.

 

Thanks tiki,

 

I actually like this one post

 

----------

 

"Here is my opinion (from a guy)

 

My opinion is that you have the right to judge anyone you want, but you can't have double standards. "

[RecordProducer]

Serial liar and cheater who sleeps with people regardless of who they will hurt by that. Sex with a new person is always on their mind even though they are in a committed relationship. They need sex, not love. They have had and will have many sexual partners. They get intimate easily and often. They don't mind sleeping with their best friends' partners or lying and cheating to their partners anytime. They flirt with everyone all the time.

[Pocky]

Some women have sex simply because they enjoy it.

[st8toftheheart]

Originally posted by Pocky

Some things never die.

 

What can I say I'm a cyclical type of guy.

[st8toftheheart]

Originally posted by Pocky

Some women have sex simply because they enjoy it.

 

Ok, but what if I considered that type of women to be a slut?

 

That should be ok though right? I mean she doesn't consider herself to be slutty, and there's nothing saying that we would have together, or that she should care what I think.

 

So it's ok to for me to consider her a slut as long as I hold know ill will towards her?

[tiki]

Originally posted by st8toftheheart

What can I say I'm a cyclical type of guy.

 

 

Cyclical?!...You're going to need to be INVINCIBLE to come out alive after this thread.

 

 

Can't we just pretend this little thread never happened?

[LucreziaBorgia]

Originally posted by st8toftheheart

Its interesting the approach you took.

 

First you gave your definition of what a slut means to you, and then defending the actions of a society views as a slut.

 

The first bit isn't how I define 'slut' but observations I've made about how other people around me define it. My guy friends tend to call girls 'sluts' and 'whores' when the girl happens to sleep with everyone BUT them, and my girl friends call girls 'sluts' and 'whores' when the sexually active girl is a threat to them or their relationships in some way. I find that some people simply find the need to judge others, and 'slut' is a convenient route for them to go. It was just an observation on how people around me define 'slut'.

 

Sorry for the misunderstanding.

 

As for the second part of the post, well - I guess a lot of that is how I feel as a reaction against what the people around me define 'slut' as.

 

I guess my personal definition can be summed up by this quote:

 

"It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to."

[Pocky]

Originally posted by st8toftheheart

Ok, but what if I considered that type of women to be a slut?

 

Well that's your choice, isn't it?

 

That should be ok though right?

 

Okay by whom? People that agree with you would probably say that it's okay. It's your opinion, so you'd feel it's okay. I may think it's self-righteous and judgmental, but what does my opinion matter?

 

I mean she doesn't consider herself to be slutty, and there's nothing saying that we would have together, or that she should care what I think.

 

Basically. If you crossed paths with someone you considered a slut she'd probably want nothing to do with you either. Sad thing is, there's some pretty good people out there that don't have any issues with their bodies or issues with expressing their sexuality that you'd distance from your life. That's all on you though, right? Not anyone's concern, but yours.

 

So it's ok to for me to consider her a slut as long as I hold know ill will towards her?

 

Up to you. You have to decide if it's okay for you to judge someone on their sexual history and nothing else.

[westernxer]

A slut is what you look for when you're not ready to settle down...

[SexKitten]

Originally posted by st8toftheheart

 

 

In many of the posts I have read, its clear that sleeping with multiple partners, which was the general use of the term way back when, no longer constitutes being a slut. So what classifies a slut? Does it even exist anymore?

 

I mean someone who is sexually active with numerous partners doesn't seem the fit the bill

 

the thing is, the word slut only exists for the its use on other people.

 

i am not a slut. but the girl i don't like is one. see what i mean?

 

we might have slept with the same number of people, but she is the slut, not me, because i can find reasons to justify what i did, and so i am okay. she is just a skanky ho.

[swirlingdaisy]

A slut to me is someone who gives it up to anyone, with as many as possible, who has no standards, no self respect, thrives on one night stands, goes out just to pick someone up/get picked up, would drop their pants in a heartbeat with anyone.