Lonely in marriage and little sex

[Mitxy]

Hi

 

I just need advice from someone. I have been married for 21 years. Sex has always been low on my husband's list. I have never understood why? He is not seeing someone else. The little times sex happens, I have to initiate it and it is cold and like a chore for him. It is not pleasurable at all. Also he drinks a lot on the weekends. He won't go for any kind of help. I feel like I am losing my mind at times and I don't know what to do. I am an attractive woman and the thought of cheating has crossed my mind many times, I have to admit. I am just looking for advice here?

[d0nnivain]

Have you told him how miserable & lonely you are? Have you asked him if he thinks a divorce would be a good idea? If he says no, ask what he's willing to do to make sure you don't end up there.

[Justme48]

I'm so sorry you are feeling lonely and disconnected in your marriage. I think over time, it can happen to anyone. Marriage takes hard work for both people and if we don't work at it, it can turn mundane. I found this article on just what you were discussing and hopefully it can lead you to good information and guidance. I will be praying for you! ((Hugs))

[Marco Valerio]

Hi

 

I just need advice from someone. I have been married for 21 years. Sex has always been low on my husband's list. I have never understood why? He is not seeing someone else. The little times sex happens, I have to initiate it and it is cold and like a chore for him. It is not pleasurable at all. Also he drinks a lot on the weekends. He won't go for any kind of help. I feel like I am losing my mind at times and I don't know what to do. I am an attractive woman and the thought of cheating has crossed my mind many times, I have to admit. I am just looking for advice here?

 

Don't. If you are unhappy talk to your husband. If nothing changes, there's three options: Open marriage, divorce or accepting your unhappiness (the last one, not my choice nor should be yours).

[Sweetfish]

Hi

 

I just need advice from someone. I have been married for 21 years. Sex has always been low on my husband's list. I have never understood why? He is not seeing someone else. The little times sex happens, I have to initiate it and it is cold and like a chore for him. It is not pleasurable at all. Also he drinks a lot on the weekends. He won't go for any kind of help. I feel like I am losing my mind at times and I don't know what to do. I am an attractive woman and the thought of cheating has crossed my mind many times, I have to admit. I am just looking for advice here?

 

So what?

 

I would suspect an unattractive woman can acquire sex as well.

 

If your not happy leave or bring your self to an all time low having meaningless sex with another man.

 

Do you hate your husband that much to do that to him or how would it feel if he was having sex with another woman?

 

 

I guess the real question is why are you with him?

 

Edit: never mind.. I know why now.. you need a "plan"

Edited June 18, 2017 by Sweetfish

[ms millie]

I think if a man never wants to initiate sex with his wife, it could be that he at bottom (no joke here) may not have heterosexual feelings in general. If he has been brought up to regard homosexuality as unacceptable, he may have gotten married hoping to fake it as a heterosexual. Now, this would of course depress him, since desire in a man is hard to fake, that may be why he doesn't show passion. Also that would account for his drinking, since he is unhappy being with a woman. Now I may be totally off the mark here, but have you ever found evidence that he is seeing someone else, man or woman? There are people who identify as asexual, but that's on;y 1 in 100 people. 20 years of such a situation is inconceivable to me. Was he, is he, in love with someone else?