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Fall outs and Mean Girls


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mortensorchid

I was thinking about those who I have had fall outs with. Not just recently but in my lifetime. They have mostly been women (surprise), but a few men here and there. What it was all about was usually the same reason most women fall out of each other : jealousy (which may or may not be related to a man's presence in it, but usually is/was). I am happy to say that I, as a woman, have never done anything like that to another woman (or I have tried to). But other women have done that to me, both personally and professionally. I'm sure others reading this (both men and women) have seen or experienced this first hand. Or you have seen the movie Mean Girls at least once.

 

My question is, once the Mean Girls get what they wanted - which was to put down others' self esteem, be in control, declare themselves superior, etc. - and the other person they have done this to has severed ties with them, what then? Do they feel happy? Do they feel drunk with power? What do they feel? I for one would feel terrible if I had done something so terrible to another person. And yes, we all make mistakes in our relationships with people, but ... Are they happy they have done this? What about those who continue to do this to others? Don't they listen or learn to what happened before?

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todreaminblue

I dont know what they feel but what i do notice is a defined lack of caring anyway...once they have done their bit with one person they simply move on to another target...like pet projects......deb

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They're generally either selfish, out for themselves, or don't have much conscience, one of the two, anyway. I doubt they have remorse.

 

I did have one high school bully a few years later apologize to me, but she wasn't the meanest one, but she hung around and supported the meanest ones. We went for a night out. It was nice. But that was the end of it.

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I think former bullies often don't know they were bullies, and at some point, given the right circumstances, even a former bullied can become a bully. I also think that the concept of "mean girls" only perpetuates the myth that there is something inherently wrong with women as a group, when in reality mean people come in all shapes and sizes.

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Google the phrase "I used to be a bully". You'll get a lot of answers to your question.

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