RedWind Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Need some enlightenment here. Pardon my english grammar. I've heard many people that one should give and take when you're in a relationship. Yet there are some that says one should give and never expect anything in return when you love someone. While I agree to both statement above, but I can't help but to wonder, don't these two conflict with each other? When you really love someone, you would keep giving them just to see them happy. However, there comes to a point that if the partner doesn't reciprocate anymore, they should stop. So is this about setting a limit? I'm not trying to be calculative as to who should give more or less. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 If you only give, or only take, there is an imbalance that probably can't be sustained. The best relationships happen when both give to each other out of love and caring. When both give because they care, you have an ideal situation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 When you really love someone, you would keep giving them just to see them happy. That's a pretty easy way to see if you've chosen the right person. If you're both actively cognizant of the other person's happiness - and your role in it - then good things will result. I'm challenged every day to keep up with my wife's generous spirit. Marrying up really means committing to a person better than you... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedWind Posted April 30, 2017 Author Share Posted April 30, 2017 If you only give, or only take, there is an imbalance that probably can't be sustained. The best relationships happen when both give to each other out of love and caring. When both give because they care, you have an ideal situation. Exactly what I thought it ought to be. You know it's easy to spot someone's mistake and overlook at all the things they done. Such case is on me. I've been in a relationship with my gf for the past 6 months, I told her about my family situation where we were not doing very well to the extent we had to sell off our house to pay off debts. One thing which I did not tell her is that the house we are currently staying is rented until recently. I told her why I've been keeping her until today is because I didn't know how to tell her and it isn't something that I'm proud of. To her it is somehow a form of cheating because I should have told her from the get go. Our relationship has been progressing quite steadily that I finally got her guarded heart to come down and she was in love with me. That is until few days ago I told her about my current situation about the house I'm staying is rented, immediately she lost her confidence in me because she is worried about her future. Though I can understand why she felt insecure about me, but at the same time can't she understand my situation? Let's not forget that I muster up the courage to tell her the truth instead of deliberately hiding away from her. Why can't she see past this and try to see how much I loved her? That's a pretty easy way to see if you've chosen the right person. If you're both actively cognizant of the other person's happiness - and your role in it - then good things will result. I'm challenged every day to keep up with my wife's generous spirit. Marrying up really means committing to a person better than you... Mr. Lucky My gf thinks that I should be better than her in any way. In terms of financially, career wise, family. Financially wise I am still capable not to the point that I have to sleep on streets. I just wonder why she can't just see past the fact that I had unintentionally hide that I am staying in rented house and look at the effort and time I poured on her. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 You give because you love somebody. You don't do it to keep score or because you want something back. Presumably they are doing the same, giving to you because they want to. When that happens it all flows. When one person gives & gives but the other person does nothing that is a problem & you need to take a look at the relationship. If you can pinpoint a reason -- I had nothing left to give for a while after both my parents died & my husband just accepted that -- you can stay & be understanding. At that point you know your partner needs help & you freely give it because you love the person. But even if you are not keeping score when you never receive in the relationship, it's time to get out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Need some enlightenment here. Pardon my english grammar. I've heard many people that one should give and take when you're in a relationship. Yet there are some that says one should give and never expect anything in return when you love someone. While I agree to both statement above, but I can't help but to wonder, don't these two conflict with each other? When you really love someone, you would keep giving them just to see them happy. However, there comes to a point that if the partner doesn't reciprocate anymore, they should stop. So is this about setting a limit? I'm not trying to be calculative as to who should give more or less. It's about not giving to the point of doing that at your own expense . . . i.e. lending money you don't have/can't afford to give, doing things that hinder or prevent you from taking care of your own needs. And, if there isn't some balance at least in terms of what you give and receive, you are over-giving. It's one thing to do nice things, be thoughtful and want to help make sure a partner is "OK", but if you're doing everything for that person and feeling drained and put upon, you're doing too much and the other person become complacent, takes you for granted and/or starts feeling smothered . . . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 I think to give is the best feeling......i dont really expect anything back so when i get a little back i feel really special...maybe thats bad...i do however ask for my guys respect if nothing else at least respect me.............i would ideally prefer to be in a relationship with someone who can give as much as take...... as far as lying goes i believe in honesty.....i try to be as transparent as ic an with a partner it is what i cherish.....beign able to be that honest....i do believe in givng chances ...i often give too many.....i dont feel i would be happy if didnt give chances... i do think REDWIND that lying is a different subject though..if she loves you she probably will come around have you ever lied to her before......deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedWind Posted May 1, 2017 Author Share Posted May 1, 2017 I think to give is the best feeling......i dont really expect anything back so when i get a little back i feel really special...maybe thats bad...i do however ask for my guys respect if nothing else at least respect me.............i would ideally prefer to be in a relationship with someone who can give as much as take...... as far as lying goes i believe in honesty.....i try to be as transparent as ic an with a partner it is what i cherish.....beign able to be that honest....i do believe in givng chances ...i often give too many.....i dont feel i would be happy if didnt give chances... i do think REDWIND that lying is a different subject though..if she loves you she probably will come around have you ever lied to her before......deb For curiosity sake, is hiding my personal issue from her about the rented house thing is a form of being dishonest to her? I am being transparent to her just about anything except for this alone because it's my family matter which involves my father's image. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts