Girlfriend is constantly on her phone around me and it bothers me

[iDrumKing]

So I've been with my girlfriend for a little over a year. In the past couple of weeks she's been checking her phone (Facebook, instagram, games) constantly around me.

 

When it's just us and when I'd like to talk to one another shes simply not engaged at all. When I remind her that I'd like for her not to be on her phone she gets upset with me. Why is this such a difficult request. Sure I'm not saying don't be on your phone. But when I've come home from a long day without seeing you I'd wish she'd be more excited to talk to me instead of having her eyes glued to her phone.

 

When she gets mad it gets me mad. Like come on. It's something that bothers me and she doesn't care to change it.

 

What should I do or say at this point?

[preraph]

Probably leave. She doesn't sound very interested in engaging with you. I mean, we all get to keep our friends, but not at the expense of always ignoring a partner.

[enddeck]

She has shown you that she is not bothered about hurting your feelings.Time to start detaching my friend.

There is an old saying that is particularly apt in this case.

Familiarity breeds contempt.

[d0nnivain]

Text her that you are breaking up with her. If you merely tell her she might not know/ notice because she will be on her phone.

[iDrumKing]

I see where you guys are coming from.

 

Would you guys recommend an approach to this problem before pulling the plug?

 

Then again if I can't simply ask her to stop what point is there :/

 

Either we sit on the couch, drive in the car, or lay in bed, at dinner; she will whip out her phone at some point and focus on that. This has never been a problem before, but ever since she reactivated her Facebook it all started up.

 

I guess I should mention this too while I'm here. She doesn't engage in conversation as much as I wished. When her friends are around she talks like there's no tomorrow. She says she "wants to spend her life" with me but doesn't understand that I some of my needs aren't being met.

[DarrenB]

I see where you guys are coming from.

 

Would you guys recommend an approach to this problem before pulling the plug?

 

Then again if I can't simply ask her to stop what point is there :/

 

Either we sit on the couch, drive in the car, or lay in bed, at dinner; she will whip out her phone at some point and focus on that. This has never been a problem before, but ever since she reactivated her Facebook it all started up.

 

I guess I should mention this too while I'm here. She doesn't engage in conversation as much as I wished. When her friends are around she talks like there's no tomorrow. She says she "wants to spend her life" with me but doesn't understand that I some of my needs aren't being met.

 

By all means, politely interrogate her as to why her engagement and involvement with you socially is poor. There's either a specific reason behind it or like multiple members have already suggested that she's probably just not wanting to converse with you much if at all.

 

If from this point on she acts in-denial then that's your cue to leave. What's the point of even bothering with someone who is more immersed into technology than their significant other, it's pathetic (from their behalf, not yours).

[preraph]

Well, then have her turn her phone off because you want to have a serious talk and try to stay calm and tell her all this and that it has risen to the level of being a dealbreaker. Admit that maybe it's your own fault for not making her understand how much it bothers you but that you are doing it now.

[d0nnivain]

If you have never discussed it, that talk is long over due. Explain where you draw the boundaries & act accordingly.

 

 

DH & I just left a bar. I "ignored" him for a few minutes in favor of my phone while I was trying to arrange an Uber home for us. To us that is acceptable. One of us playing on FB other than a quick "check in" post is not allowed.

[iDrumKing]

All great points and advice. Thanks for listening