tonerlaser Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 I've been trying to run my own business for a year and it was not working out, so decided getting a job, saving up and getting more experience was a good idea. My girlfriend has always been super supportive to me. She helped me with my resume, cover letter, interview questions, self esteem issues, etc. She is also in the same field I am, but she has not graduated or gotten her license yet. She is currently doing an internship at her dream place. She has worked really hard to get a job there when graduating, but so far they only gave her the internship and told her she needs to open her mind to other kinds of jobs, not just the one position she wants. She came to me a few weeks ago telling me there's an opening where she works (in the department she wants) and that I should apply. I thought it would be kind of hijacking her, but she said if I something good happens to me, something good happens to her. So I decided to apply. I did not think I would get called, as my grades and experience are not that great. I have a solid technical background, which is not 100% necessary for the job, but it helps a lot. Her experience (as a student) is very vast. Turns out I got called for an interview, and they loved me. Some context: The way they treat interns there is horrible. One of the managers probably even has something against my girlfriend specifically. She's overworked, ignored, and they are bent on not making her the offer she wants, but "maybe another position." Long before I applied, me (and everyone close to her really) told her she should quit and not take that treatment. She has refused, because she's worked so hard for it. The past few weeks have been a nightmare. She thinks I took her job and lowered (or completely eliminated) her chances of getting the job she has worked so hard for. She says I ed her over and am condoning the treatment they give her by working there. She wants me to quit. The offer I got was insanely good (in money) and the experience I will get will help me be able to finally do it on my own after a few years. Also, I think I was super lucky getting the offer, I don't think something like this could happen again so easily (like I said, my grades and experience are not great. I get turned down pretty quickly). How can I make my girlfriend see that me taking the job was not against her and that I did not take anything away from her? tl;dr: Applied for a job because my girlfriend told me to, but it was also a job she wanted. Got it. Now she says I took it from her. How do I keep the relationship and the job? I'm dying here. Thanks for the advice. Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 So do you want the relationship or the job more? Both probably won't happen Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 I never understand the reasoning of people who tell you to do something and then get mad at you for doing the thing they told you to do. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
FoundLove Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 She told you about the job and encouraged you to go for it. If she didn't want you to get the job, she should not have told you about it. You did absolutely nothing wrong here. Congrats on landing the job! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 Had you got the job behind her back then she would have been right to be miffed but since she told you about the job and encouraged you to go for it then she needs to back off. I think as they have openly told her she should open her mind to other positions she has not a hope in hell of getting the job she wants. She needs to take a long hard look at what she has to offer. Working hard just means you work hard it is no guarantee of success. She needs to think laterally if the cards aren't being dealt in the way she wants. I do appreciate that is hard for her and worse now that you are nicely placed there doing the job she wants. You are in no position to turn down a great job just because she isn't happy, so do not think of doing that. Career and making a living always needs to come first, and if you are both in the same field this may not be the only time you lock heads. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 You keep the job, and let her accept it like an adult. If you quit it won't make her advance at her job.. they will give it to someone else. Keep the job.. good for you.. Work the rest out, if she can't handle the scenario then let the relationship go. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 Keep the job and let her go if you have to. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Tribble Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 I also have never understood the say one thing but actually mean the complete opposite. I've had bfs ask me if I really mean something and it baffles me. Why would I say I'm fine with something I'm not fine with?? You say your gf is supportive but is she really? She told you about the job and encouraged you to go for it. You didn't do it behind her back and you didn't find it and ask if it was okay to apply. Now she is annoyed. Which begs the question, did she expect you to fail? Wanted to appear supportive by telling you about it... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 If you went behind her back, that would have been one thing. She is the one who set this up. You need to ask her why she's so angry because this was her doing. Unless she can talk about this, you are better off with the job, not the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
ARAMCOMAN Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 It is most likely her attitude that did not and has not landed her the position with this company. Its her attitude with you that is the main issue for your relationship to continue. Myself I would end it with her. Link to post Share on other sites
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