Zq8 Blazer Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 I'm 33 and met my girlfriend on a dating site. Within 10 days of knowing each other she moved in with me. We've been dating for about 6 months now and she's the one. We've not been in one single fight, I love her to death, she's beautiful, and makes me very happy. Pretty much the opposite of all my past relationships including my 5 year marriage. She's actually the first girl I've truly been in love with. I want to get engaged and I know she feels the same way, but don't really know what to do since she doesn't wear jewelry. She's told me in the past that wearing it irritates her skin and she'd rather spend money on other things. I just don't know what I should do. Does anyone have any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 Wait eighteen months. If you don't know her well enough to get around her not liking jewelry, you don't know her well enough to marry her. BTW, good jewelry isn't irritating. PS: do you know what these 'other things' are that she'd rather spend money on? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 Talk privately to her mother and ask her if you are misunderstanding. A lot of people are allergic to anything but real gold. Maybe she hasn't had real gold before. Don't tip your hand, but ask her mother in confidence saying you want to buy her a necklace or something but that she told you all jewelry irritates her and ask if that's true or if she could wear real gold. Gold is so high the last few years i imagine there are people who never had it to know. Also, you might call a jeweler, a big store, and ask if they have anything allergy proof. Otherwise, if you are convinced there is no way (never heard of that in 64 years though), then maybe matching ring finger tattoos? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zq8 Blazer Posted March 12, 2017 Author Share Posted March 12, 2017 Wait eighteen months. If you don't know her well enough to get around her not liking jewelry, you don't know her well enough to marry her. BTW, good jewelry isn't irritating. PS: do you know what these 'other things' are that she'd rather spend money on? I think you misunderstood me. I don't mind one but that she doesn't like jewelry. she just isn't interested in wearing any, she's the same way with make up. Other things such as putting the money towards a vacation, debt, Lularoe leggings(she has an addiction), thugs for the kitchen, or candle making supplies. Talk privately to her mother and ask her if you are misunderstanding. A lot of people are allergic to anything but real gold. Maybe she hasn't had real gold before. Don't tip your hand, but ask her mother in confidence saying you want to buy her a necklace or something but that she told you all jewelry irritates her and ask if that's true or if she could wear real gold. Gold is so high the last few years i imagine there are people who never had it to know. Also, you might call a jeweler, a big store, and ask if they have anything allergy proof. Otherwise, if you are convinced there is no way (never heard of that in 64 years though), then maybe matching ring finger tattoos? Sorry by irritate I meant she just doesn't like wearing it. She's the same way with make up. She doesn't own any jewelry, but does have a little makeup; however I've never seen her wear any. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 An engagement or marriage is still valid even if there's no exchange of jewelry. Why not just skip the rings? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 I think you misunderstood me. I don't mind one but that she doesn't like jewelry. she just isn't interested in wearing any, she's the same way with make up. Other things such as putting the money towards a vacation, debt, Lularoe leggings(she has an addiction), thugs for the kitchen, or candle making supplies. Okay, but my answer still stands. If you don't know how to get around the fact that she doesn't like jewelry, you don't know her well enough to marry her. So, she likes vacations but is in debt? And keep those thugs out of the kitchen! (That was a funny auto correct!) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zq8 Blazer Posted March 12, 2017 Author Share Posted March 12, 2017 An engagement or marriage is still valid even if there's no exchange of jewelry. Why not just skip the rings? Very true, but everyone I know has always given their better half a ring so this is new to me. Okay, but my answer still stands. If you don't know how to get around the fact that she doesn't like jewelry, you don't know her well enough to marry her. So, she likes vacations but is in debt? And keep those thugs out of the kitchen! (That was a funny auto correct!) You're not making sense. It doesn't bother me that she doesn't like jewelry, I'm just looking for an alternative to getting her a ring because I know if I did get her one she would feel obligated to wear it and I don't want to make her do something she doesn't want to. Pretty much everyone in America is in debt and goes on Vacations. Most everyone makes car and house payments. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 I'm 33 and met my girlfriend on a dating site. Within 10 days of knowing each other she moved in with me. We've been dating for about 6 months now and she's the one. We've not been in one single fight, I love her to death, she's beautiful, and makes me very happy. Pretty much the opposite of all my past relationships including my 5 year marriage. She's actually the first girl I've truly been in love with. I want to get engaged and I know she feels the same way, but don't really know what to do since she doesn't wear jewelry. She's told me in the past that wearing it irritates her skin and she'd rather spend money on other things. I just don't know what I should do. Does anyone have any ideas? I doubt very much that that attitude applies to a DIAMOND ENGAGEMENT RING . . . and she's likely not wearing quality jewelry if it irritates her skins, etc. Beyond that, I think it's too soon to be getting engaged to her. Six months is a drop in the bucket and you have not observed or been through all or even most of the experiences you need to be able to observe how she/you handle as a couple. Never arguing in the first 6 months isn't too much of a surprise but lots of times when a couple never argues, it means that one or both of them isn't communicating openly and honestly. One of both of you is "holding" things in or overlooking things that actually do bother you but it's never addressed. Give it another 6 months and if you still feel the same way, then you buy her a nice engagement ring. If's its a good idea now, it'll be a good idea later. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MrDuck Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 I think your engagements fast but thats not what you're asking sooo... Wood ring - if she doesnt like jewllery cause she thinks its too dressy, or flamboyant or whatever. This is a really simple alternative. You can get some really cool ones, and its cheap. Leather bracelet - a really strong one, built to last, maybe personalised or something for your engagement. Again this is so easy to wear, like it shouldnt irritate anybody. I have some i've worn for years, go with everything, swim in them, sleep in them, easy! Ring tattoo - a definite alternative, if she'd be up for it!! A watch - its not jewellery as such? A pocket watch? A thumb stone - she can carry it with her A pet - some girl i know got an 'engagement puppy'. I don't suggest this lightly A) Id rather see anyone adopt a dog than buy a puppy, there are so many needing homes and B) you should only get a pet if you want and are ready for a pet, now and for the rest of its life, not just for a present. But if you were thinking about adopting a pet already theres no reason you couldnt do it and tie it in with your engagement A house - throwing it out there, i dont know your budget man! A boat - If my gf ever reads this, I'd love an engagement boat! Or like, i dont know the girl, like get her something she'll love and keep and personalise it.. a guitar, a fountain pen, a pocket knife, whatever! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 I don't wear much jewelry but still treasure my e-ring & wedding band. I agree with the advise to wait to get engaged. Since you said you are talking about the future, have the conversation about what her vision is. Point blank ask her if she would wear a ring. She may surprise you. It is imperative that you do wait on this until you know each other better & can answer this Q. Also be very cautious about marrying somebody who is in debt. Because you have been on a rocket pace get lots of premarital counseling & have a long engagement to give your marriage the best possible chance of success. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zq8 Blazer Posted March 12, 2017 Author Share Posted March 12, 2017 I think your engagements fast but thats not what you're asking sooo... Wood ring - if she doesnt like jewllery cause she thinks its too dressy, or flamboyant or whatever. This is a really simple alternative. You can get some really cool ones, and its cheap. Leather bracelet - a really strong one, built to last, maybe personalised or something for your engagement. Again this is so easy to wear, like it shouldnt irritate anybody. I have some i've worn for years, go with everything, swim in them, sleep in them, easy! Ring tattoo - a definite alternative, if she'd be up for it!! A watch - its not jewellery as such? A pocket watch? A thumb stone - she can carry it with her A pet - some girl i know got an 'engagement puppy'. I don't suggest this lightly A) Id rather see anyone adopt a dog than buy a puppy, there are so many needing homes and B) you should only get a pet if you want and are ready for a pet, now and for the rest of its life, not just for a present. But if you were thinking about adopting a pet already theres no reason you couldnt do it and tie it in with your engagement A house - throwing it out there, i dont know your budget man! A boat - If my gf ever reads this, I'd love an engagement boat! Or like, i dont know the girl, like get her something she'll love and keep and personalise it.. a guitar, a fountain pen, a pocket knife, whatever! I never thought about a wood ring. I've seen those and they're unique. Thanks! She has two cats and I have an Italian Greyhound so that's enough pets for us! lives with me and I own my house plus I already have a boat. I'm going to look into a wood ring though. I don't wear much jewelry but still treasure my e-ring & wedding band. I agree with the advise to wait to get engaged. Since you said you are talking about the future, have the conversation about what her vision is. Point blank ask her if she would wear a ring. She may surprise you. It is imperative that you do wait on this until you know each other better & can answer this Q. Also be very cautious about marrying somebody who is in debt. Because you have been on a rocket pace get lots of premarital counseling & have a long engagement to give your marriage the best possible chance of success. Unfortunately I cannot get married. I will lose my medical insurance if I do. I have several diseases and my medicines are over $350,000 a year. I always thought I'd never get engaged again. Heck before I met her I thought it was stupid and said that there is no way someone could know they've met the one perfect person for them after 6 months or less, but then I met her and discovered the true meaning of love. Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 Maybe I missed something, but have you actually asked her what kind of engagement ring she would like? It's such a deeply personal decision and she may have strong opinions you don't know about. I rarely wear makeup, and wear jewelry maybe a few times a year. My newest pair of pants is from 2010. To call me low maintenance is a colossal understatement. When we went engagement ring shopping, I picked out an incredibly intricate platinum band with lots of channel-set diamonds along the sides. No one who knows me had any idea I wanted something so detailed and elaborate. I reasoned if I was going to wear a piece of jewelry the rest of my life, it was going to be stunning. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 Unfortunately I cannot get married. Errrr..... You want to get engaged but not married? Do you know what "engaged" means?? It is a formal agreement of intent to marry. Getting engaged, when you have no intent or possibility of getting married, doesn't really make much sense to me. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 Just get her a dog collar , sorry couldn't resist. Good luck though . Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 Why don't you ask HER how she'd like to recognize an engagement? But, I also suggest you are moving far too fast - she may or may not agree with this view, of course. In another 6 months, consider moving in together. If you still want to get engage/marry, then after living together for a year is the time to take this step. Right now you are in a state of hormonal irrationality - it takes 2 to 3 years to get past this and see if lasting, mature love has supplanted it. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 Do you want to get 'just'engaged and tie her down ? Not a good idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 If you don't want to get married than she doesn't need an engagement ring. Problem solved. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 Promise ring? Maybe some other symbol of commitment? Engaged means you have asked her to marry you, and she has agreed to marry you. If there is no intention of marriage, then there is no engagement. Imagine her embarrassment: Her to a friend- "I got engaged!!!" Friend - "oh that's wonderful! When are you getting married!?" Her - "oh married? Never, he isn't able to marry me" And I agree with others, this is moving at lightening speed. If you are going to spend the rest of your natural lives together - what is the rush? Second marriages (or engagements?) is 67%. Maybe this, after 6 months has the stuff to be the 33% that makes it - but you two are going to be together forever right? So slowing down a little won't do any harm 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anduina Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 Ask her. The only piece of jewelry that I wear is my engagement ring. It symbolizes something important to me and to my fiance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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