Glowingly Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 I've just started a new job at work and am with a brand new team, I've been working closely with a few people on a project recently and in the down time while we wait for work we've all be getting to know each other, one of the men in the group who I get along really well with was asked what his type of woman was and he said "married ones" I'm the only married woman in the group and we've been getting on well lately, I'm sure this is me just reading too much into this, but I wanted an outside opinion, do you think this was his way of flirting with me? I didn't really click to it at the time, I asked him if he'd ever been "the other man" and talked about when I was single and was "the other woman" from the ages of about 17-19 with an old friend from home and I didn't (and still don't to be honest) consider myself a cheater as I wasn't involved with anyone at the time. I do love my husband very much but we're going through a bit of a stale patch at the moment which is probably why this conversation has stuck with me, I don't know what I'm doing really, I guess its nice to be noticed.. what do you all think? Sorry for the long and rambling post! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Because you're having a stale patch with your husband I say IGNORE this guy and don't have inappropriate conversations with him. This flirting and ego feed will lead to something else...IF you let it. So stop and focus that energy into your husband and reconnect with him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BenchCoach Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 And... down the slippery slope, you go. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 And... down the slippery slope, you go. Yep, she's looking! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 I would have taken it as a joke, but it seems you're desperate to read more into it and have decided to let him know you don't see the single person as doing any wrong. Effectively giving him the green light to make a move on you. I'd say it's you seeking him out and asking if he'd like the role of being your OM. Sort out your marital issues and don't be the married woman seeking attention from another man. Your professional reputation will suffer. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Glowingly Posted February 24, 2017 Author Share Posted February 24, 2017 Thank you for responding so quickly, you're all absolutely right, I'm looking for something that's not really there for a tiny bit of attention, I need to put the focus back on my marriage, I would be hurting everyone just for the sake of a bit of flirting, thank you, I needed a wake up almost and even my closet of girl-friends wouldn't have understood as they love my husband as well which is all well and good but means I can't share when I'm feeling insecure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 WHY ON EARTH would you have this conversation? You're part of the problem! I asked him if he'd ever been "the other man" and talked about when I was single and was "the other woman" from the ages of about 17-19 with an old friend from home and I didn't (and still don't to be honest) consider myself a cheater as I wasn't involved with anyone at the time. I Don't talk about anything like this with people of the opposite sex. You set yourself up as a target. Save that talk for your girlfriends and husband. Not work men who have said they like married women. Stupid stupid move. You come here questioning it but it seemed like maybe YOU were testing the waters too. Did it make you feel good thst someone else might be attracted to you because things are rough at home and "it's nice to be noticed? He threw out a crumb, you gobbled it up and threw out your own. Bad news. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 you missed the come on for a reason..you arent meant to be receptive to inappropriate comments from guys who say they like married women..if you have hit a stale patch with your husband remember what made you crazy for him..and go there..........flirt with him......tease him ...excite him...and that other guy who would ....talk and laugh about you with his mates.....wont get a look in...any guy who says he likes married women is up for a challenge.....and probably likes to brag when he succeeds... so remember your wedding day those vows you made...and flirt with the guy who truly cares for you who wotn brag what a fien piece fo ass you are to hsi pals......spice your guy up.....the best man always there to flirt with ...is waiting for you at home....so rock his sox.....and you will feel the right type of attention exactly where you need to feel it....best wishes...and happy sock rockin...deb 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Oh boy. I hope you realize before it is too late the fire you are playing with. Or you will be back here in time to tell us how it just happened, you just fell in love with this OM. Everyone has rough patches in marriages. But your married him for a reason which at some point, you thought he was perfect for you. You can get there again. In a long term relationship, those initial feelings of excitementfade away and a new feeling of comfort and stability replace it. It isn't nearly as "fun" and we sometimes miss it. It is in those times we must build huge walls around our marriages and protect it from all others. You just busted a huge hole through that wall and if you don't quickly patch it, you will be causing hurt for everyone involved. I am pretty certain that no MW who was cheating would say the time they were having an affair was the happiest. It is conflicting and confusing and painful. Back away slowly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 I think that's not the kind of conversation I would ever have with a coworker... it's crossing the line of what is approrpiate in a workplace. I would stay clear of this guy, for sure... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 Thank you for responding so quickly, you're all absolutely right, I'm looking for something that's not really there for a tiny bit of attention, I need to put the focus back on my marriage, I would be hurting everyone just for the sake of a bit of flirting, thank you, I needed a wake up almost and even my closet of girl-friends wouldn't have understood as they love my husband as well which is all well and good but means I can't share when I'm feeling insecure. You don't need a messy new hobby like sex with a workmate whether you're married or not. A man saying he likes married women is a man who absolutely is only after sex anyway. They can't make any demands. What you need is a new hobby, who isn't a man! Something to stimulate you. Or maybe a rescue dog. Or maybe volunteering at a pet rescue. Something all your own that you can feel good about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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