ohwell3211 Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 hi my partner dresses very respectably she also puts her hand in her pocket when it come to bills/meals etc however im trying to tell her how i feel about her drunk behaviour was disgraceful last night towards me i can let it go over my head however I cant believe she didnt phone me first thing to apologise, I called her!! to check she was ok and she text "cant spk step dads" here Im like SO go and sit in ya car!!!!!! then i had to say arent you SORRY, however in this time shes soon managed to update her profile picture on fb for the approval of strangers EEERRRRRRRRRRRRR she then says I Over analyze things what sums her up ???? its annoying me as shes in so much denial Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Umm, can we try that again in English? What exactly did she do and/or say? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ohwell3211 Posted January 9, 2017 Author Share Posted January 9, 2017 it is english ? she dresses respectably she puts her hand in her pocket, but her behaviour at times i want a word to sum it up ive explained her recent episode above Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Actually no, you didn't put a single word in that mess about what she actually did or said last night. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 So... I'm getting that she was drunk and behaved badly and never apologized to you for it... is that the behavior you're talking about? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ohwell3211 Posted January 9, 2017 Author Share Posted January 9, 2017 yes its the fact i phoned her then she replied cant spk whilst step dads there(personal reason I understand) but id go and sit in my car if i was her then i had to say arent you going to apologise for instance although its just an example, when were texting on the eve, shell suddenly just stop replying and message in the morning i dont want a GOODNIGHT LOVE YOU, but a im going bed now when your half way through chat would be appreciated surely she lacks common courtesy? Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 I don't know, maybe its me, but I have three kids and a full time job, so if someone messeges me and I stop responding, its because I'm busy or I fell asleep in all honesty. I'll respond when I'm not busy or when I wake up. At least I responded right? Maybe instead of messeges, try a phone call. That way you say goodnight or goodbye ending the conversation..... And maybe she didn't aplogize for her drunk antics because she didn't remember how bad she was? Or perhaps she figures you know this about her already? I'm not sure how bad it was so I can't comment on that. Maybe she is a bit inconsiderate of other peoples feelings, but it might not be intentional, talk to her about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 for instance although its just an example, when were texting on the eve, shell suddenly just stop replying and message in the morning i dont want a GOODNIGHT LOVE YOU, but a im going bed now when your half way through chat would be appreciated Wait, so this is the horrible drunken thing she did to you? You might need to pick your battles if you want to be in a relationship with a real person.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 yes its the fact i phoned her then she replied cant spk whilst step dads there(personal reason I understand) but id go and sit in my car if i was her then i had to say arent you going to apologise for instance although its just an example, when were texting on the eve, shell suddenly just stop replying and message in the morning i dont want a GOODNIGHT LOVE YOU, but a im going bed now when your half way through chat would be appreciated surely she lacks common courtesy? ughh....you sound a bit controlling. Never tell someone how they should text youWhy should she drop everything if family is there to go talk in her car. RidiculousNo one owes you a goodnight text- people fall asleep or spend time with others and its rude to be on your phone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ohwell3211 Posted January 9, 2017 Author Share Posted January 9, 2017 im controlling ? if i verbally assaulted and got a bit hands on with you vevecakes wouldnt you expect me to apologise the morning after and not only that have the decency to call you she doesnt get on with her step dad she was merely stating his presence thats why i was saying surely she could go and sit in her car 10 feet away on the drive and call me back over something like this and i was making the point about the text thing as an example to add to the inconsideration that she doesnt seem to get I know when im falling asleep in the middle of a conversation I inittiated i then have the decency to atleast let the person know im going to bed but like you say it must me double standards and all that:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 im controlling ? if i verbally assaulted and got a bit hands on with you vevecakes wouldnt you expect me to apologise the morning after and not only that have the decency to call you she doesnt get on with her step dad she was merely stating his presence thats why i was saying surely she could go and sit in her car 10 feet away on the drive and call me back over something like this and i was making the point about the text thing as an example to add to the inconsideration that she doesnt seem to get I know when im falling asleep in the middle of a conversation I inittiated i then have the decency to atleast let the person know im going to bed but like you say it must me double standards and all that:laugh: ughh well people asked several times what happened and when you leave out all the details this is what happens. So she assaulted you? No I wouldn't expect an apology, I would call the police just like I did when I my ex bf tried assaulted me. He's in jail now. Why are you still with her if she assaulted you? Why do you feel like she HAS to go sit in her car and talk to you. You do not own her nor control her actions. You have the decency to say goodnight but not everyone has the same text habits. You are not HER not can you make her like YOU. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 yes its the fact i phoned her then she replied cant spk whilst step dads there(personal reason I understand) but id go and sit in my car if i was her then i had to say arent you going to apologise for instance although its just an example, when were texting on the eve, shell suddenly just stop replying and message in the morning i dont want a GOODNIGHT LOVE YOU, but a im going bed now when your half way through chat would be appreciated surely she lacks common courtesy? I don't know what she did, so I can't comment on her behavior. But you seem to have a LOT of expectations, and get angry when she doesn't meet them. She isn't you. She won't do exactly what you would do. She doesn't even define "common courtesy" the same way you do. If I was in your shoes, I would let go of what you expect from her, and instead focus on getting to know HER and what she does. Then you can decide if what she does and how she acts matches what you want in a relationship. If not - move on and find someone more like you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ohwell3211 Posted January 9, 2017 Author Share Posted January 9, 2017 i didnt need to tell people what had happened its got nothing else to do with anyone else however im a firm believer in courtesy especially when its spouted when the boots on the other foot, so i was simply asking what word i could use that sums up her disregardful behaviour that she doesnt seem to be able to see, as she is not a narcissist Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 im controlling ? if i verbally assaulted and got a bit hands on with you vevecakes wouldnt you expect me to apologise the morning after and not only that have the decency to call you Something I've learned about people - the less you EXPECT from them, the less often you will be DISAPPOINTED by them. she doesnt get on with her step dad she was merely stating his presence thats why i was saying surely she could go and sit in her car 10 feet away on the drive and call me back over something like this She feels differently. and i was making the point about the text thing as an example to add to the inconsideration that she doesnt seem to get She feels differently. I know when im falling asleep in the middle of a conversation I inittiated i then have the decency to atleast let the person know im going to bed She feels differently. but like you say it must me double standards and all that:laugh: Instead of getting defensive, why not listen? Did you come here for advice, or just to have people join in on blasting your gf? If you have very rigid expectations, you should communicate them to your gf vs. expecting her to think the exact way you do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 i was simply asking what word i could use that sums up her disregardful behaviour that she doesnt seem to be able to see, as she is not a narcissist Ummmmmmmm.... Incompatible? Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Why make a thread, leave out 99% of the relevant information and then when people answer you tell them that they are wrong because of the information you didn't give us.... what exactly are you trying to accomplish with this question? But abuse both physical and verbal are deal breakers for me in a relationship. If a woman acted like that towards me while she was drunk, she'd better be quitting drinking the next day if she wants to fix things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 i didnt need to tell people what had happened its got nothing else to do with anyone else however im a firm believer in courtesy especially when its spouted when the boots on the other foot, so i was simply asking what word i could use that sums up her disregardful behaviour that she doesnt seem to be able to see, as she is not a narcissist We can not accurately asses without all the information. As it stands right now, you seem controlling. Your gf could be anything, we don't have enough info to go on. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 (edited) [Edited] The only adjective I can offer at this point is "unapologetic". Of course, the logical assumption is that she's not apologising because she's not sorry. Should she be sorry? Well that depends on what she did. More info please. Edited January 9, 2017 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
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