Dear heart Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 My partner and I have been together for two years. He no longer has any interest in sex, kissing or even having meaningful conversations. He just started graveyard shift three months ago and we don't live together yet. He has only given me oral 3 times in the past two years. I am neglected and have let him know. He blames it on his work schedule and being tired. I don't know if he's being unfaithful. But he doesn't make any changes and I'm almost ready to leave relationship. How much more confronting do I do? How long do I wait? Are these solid signs of infidelity? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 I wouldn't buy the I'm tired excuse for not having sex, not giving oral, and having any meaningful conversations. It's not like he's worked 24/7 for two years. There are vacation and weekends. I hate to be the party pooper advising to breakup but this relationship seems to have run its course. I don't think confronting him and lay it all out to him in person will suddenly make a major difference. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 You should have already left the relationship long ago. There's no sense in sticking around unfulfilled - it's such a waste of your time. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 My partner and I have been together for two years. He no longer has any interest in sex, kissing or even having meaningful conversations. He just started graveyard shift three months ago and we don't live together yet. He has only given me oral 3 times in the past two years. I am neglected and have let him know. He blames it on his work schedule and being tired. I don't know if he's being unfaithful. But he doesn't make any changes and I'm almost ready to leave relationship. How much more confronting do I do? How long do I wait? Are these solid signs of infidelity? With oral only occurung 3 times in 2 years, he was a dud when you first met. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SunnyWeather Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 My partner and I have been together for two years. He no longer has any interest in sex, kissing or even having meaningful conversations. He just started graveyard shift three months ago and we don't live together yet. He has only given me oral 3 times in the past two years. I am neglected and have let him know. He blames it on his work schedule and being tired. I don't know if he's being unfaithful. But he doesn't make any changes and I'm almost ready to leave relationship. How much more confronting do I do? How long do I wait? Are these solid signs of infidelity? sorry to be so personal, but since you brought it up- how often have you given him oral in the past 2 years? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 The Unholy Trinity that affects too many males: Apathy Passivity Naivety Yours seems to fit the picture. Don't waste any more time on him. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 The Unholy Trinity that affects too many males: Apathy Passivity Naivety Yours seems to fit the picture. Don't waste any more time on him. Take care. I like it when you're a bit harsher, Satu. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 You are not married with kids. There is NO reason to stay with this person who doesn't meet your needs and treats you poorly. Stop wasting your time with him and get back out there. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 The subject of low libido is very interesting. Most people think that is only concerned with sexual desire, but there's more to it. It's really about a persons 'lust for life,' with sexual lust just being a part of it. Its also about curiosity, ambition, willingness to engage with people, and the desire achieve a certain end, etc. It sounds like the OP's boyfriend is low-libido in the wider sense. "Sigmund Freud defined libido as "the energy, regarded as a quantitative magnitude ... of those instincts which have to do with all that may be comprised under the word 'love'. It is the instinct energy or force, contained in what Freud called the id, the strictly unconscious structure of the psyche." "According to Swiss psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung, the libido is identified as psychic energy. Duality (opposition) creates the energy (or libido) of the psyche, which Jung asserts expresses itself only through symbols: "It is the energy that manifests itself in the life process and is perceived subjectively as striving and desire." Source "Libido is a term used by in psychoanalytic theory to describe the energy created by the survival and sexual instincts. According to Sigmund Freud, the libido is part of the id and is the driving force of all behavior. While the term libido has taken on an overtly sexual meaning in today's world, to Freud it represented all psychic energy and not just sexual energy." Source Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 Just based on lifetime experience, I'd say he's seeing other women, but if he isn't interested even in sex with you, WHY would he even see you at all. I mean, most men don't stay if they're not interested. Do you have his child or something? What binds him to you? I hope you're not giving him money. I see no point in confronting. If you don't have kids, just leave and find an interested mate. Link to post Share on other sites
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