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Adult male indulging in a celebrity crush?


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DutchValhallaViking

Hello everyone. I find myself in a unexpected situation and i'm wondering if it is just harmless fun, or a potential problem.

 

Short bio:

- Male in early thirties.

- Introverted, only go out about once a month.

- Like watching movies, playing videogames and reading.

- Generally well liked and respected by family/friends/neighbors/coworkers.

- Two previous relationships (age 18 and mid/late twenties).

- Insecure about looks but lately improving due to weight loss.

 

Since my last relationship ended 5 years ago i have been mostly focused on trying to enjoy the perks of being single and only had a handful of dates. None of them led to anything intimate or romantic but for the most part i was indifferent about that.

 

Now the past year or so i started to slowly develop a unexpected celebrity crush on a C-list Hollywood actress and model. Nothing unusual, i just thought she was cute. This autumn i went out on several dates with a woman i met on Tinder but we decided to cut it off as she decided to move back to her homeland the coming year. That bummed me out a bit as we both felt quite an attraction and enjoyed the dates.

 

About a month or so ago i found myself suddenly daydreaming about this actress and fantasizing about these impossible scenario's in which we would meet and date each other. (Owh gods, typing that suddenly makes it very embarrassing and childish) ultra-cliché, cringey Hollywood stuff...i'll spare you the details but suffice to say i am old enough to know these scenario's will never happen, and that i do not actually know this woman at all, but i'm rather surprised by this turn of events and my imagination kicking into overdrive with me trying to come up with new "stories" about her every day.

 

Mind you, even as a fully functional and responsible adult i always kept an active and very nerdy/geeky imagination with fantasy battles, being a bad-ass hero or making up all sorts of stories in my mind.

 

Could it be my mind is trying to find some sort of romantic/sexual outlet since my love-life has been disappointing and slow the past years? Are there other guys in their thirties out there also daydreaming/fantasizing a lot about dating (not just having sex with) Scarlett Johansson, Alexandra Daddario or Emma Stone?

 

I hope so, because i feel like i'm acting like a 16 year old boy having his first crush.

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Hi there,

 

I think it's quite possible that your mind is using that as an outlet. And honestly there may be nkhing wrong with that.

 

I have a similar situation. I just had a great date and then was ghosted by the guy. Now I find myself fantasizing about my celebrity crushes, mainly Shia Labeouf, because I don't have any other dating prospects right now. Or maybe it's because he actually looked like Shia Labeouf....

 

They say that dating or seeing someone new can help you get your mind off things. Maybe just thinking about them may help as well.

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GunslingerRoland

 

Short bio:

- Male in early thirties.

- Introverted, only go out about once a month..

 

I don't think this is unrelated. By any standards only getting out once a month is absolutely zero life even for an introvert. I don't think it's unrelated the fact that you have no life, and the fact that you are falling into a fantasy world.

 

Lead a real life, and you'll find the fantasies drift away without even noticing. I had the same problem when I was a young teenager.

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By any standards only getting out once a month is absolutely zero life even for an introvert. I don't think it's unrelated the fact that you have no life, and the fact that you are falling into a fantasy world.

 

This.

 

I know someone prone to these fantasy crushes.... also doesn't get out a lot despite having many friends.

 

She has been woefully unsuccessful in the dating world (now 38, still never had a bf despite desperately wanting a family) - and I feel these things are related.

 

Why not invest that same energy into real life prospects instead of fantasy land ones?

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