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She left me because she wants to be alone to find herself????


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hi there, my girlfriend of 6 months left me two days ago and im struggling to understand. Shes 19 and im 20. She had a boyfriend of 2 years before me and he cheated on her several times. She broke it off and about 4 months later she met me. I liked her a lot, she was good looking, funny, great heart and is just an all round great girl.

 

But about 4 months into our relationship we started fighting over silly little things, but managed to sucessfully (i thought) patch them up almost straight away everytime. i felt we were really on the improve and that we had gotten through the arguments and we had a new level of understanding. Then she went on holiday for about a week, and when she came back she said she wanted to break up. Not because of the arguments or anything that i ever did (apparently i did nothing wrong) but becasue she said she needed time to be alone with out a relationship to find herself and to sort through some personal issues that i thought she had gotten over months ago.

 

I asked if she wanted to go on a break but she said no because it wouldnt be fair on me becasue she doesnt know how long she needs, but if she knew the date when she would feel ready then she would have wanted that. She said i was the perfect boyfriend and she couldnt have wanted anything more.

 

So im asking myself why? i knew it was kinda not right, that she maybe needed more time to recover from her ex but she said she was fine, and she was completely over that relationship. Now she says she still wants to be close friends and that she doesnt want to lose me because she trusts me a lot and im an important person to her. We had a single lunch date the day she got back and she was talking about how she was looking foward to tomorrow nite as we had a date planned, she wanted the date for my 21st (2 months away) and even showed me some lingerie in a shop she was considering buying and what my opionion was. Yesterday she came over and it seemed like everything was still there she flirted, even half showed me her new bikini wax, except she didnt want any kisses etc.... iv talked to her since and she said shes dead certain shes making the right choice,.

 

So what should i do. Should i move on? itl be hard i felt she was my dream girl. or should i wait until she is ready again? she never ruled out a future reconcillitation. are her reasons legitimate and understandable? What does she want from me as a mate? why did she say all those things the day before we broke up? and why was she contining on almost as if it hadnt happened the next day? im hell confused.

 

Sorry about it the length and any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. Thnak-you.

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She's confused right now, as most 19-year-olds are. Don't contact her... just move on and date other girls. You're only 20, so have fun.

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Hey there,

 

I can explain why 18, 19 and 20 is a difficult time for girls to be in a long term relationship. Some girls view their late teens as the prime of their lives; whether this be so or not, they seem to think it is the time they'll look the best, have the confidence to flirt the most and receive more attention than they would at any other stage of their life. It's a learning period and I guess they want to suck all the opportunities out of life that they possibly can.

 

For some ladies this age, being with one person is stifling. No matter how great the relationship, how perfect the guy, how strong the love - you're still not putting yourself out there, meeting new people, going different places, doing mad things and getting the most outta life. In some ways, this can be seen as selfish. Girls just seem to confuse self discovery with attention. They think they are finding themselves when really they are looking for attention and trying to learn about THEMSELVES by meeting OTHER people.

 

So its wrong and its right. We shouldnt all be prematurely married. We're young. We should be single. I've been in a 5 yr relationship and I KNOW I'm missing out but I have too soft a heart to say cheers to my guy for good...But I feel your lady - she's a butterfly like all girls - she just wants to be free.

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so said she really doesnt want to lose another important person in her life, but also wants to do whats best for me. so should i be friends with her, or just go with no contact, and goodbye for good?

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Be friendly with her when she contacts you, but don't initiate it and don't wait around for her either. Go out and have fun. You're too young to take this too seriously. Show her you've got other things going on in your life.

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