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Some people are meant to be alone?


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So, a friend of mine mentioned that some people are meant to alone in life. He mentioned this after one of my friends decided to not date anymore. Well, I been single for years now & I'm slowly starting to give up.

 

He mentioned how some people aren't meant to find their other half & are put on earth to do something significant other than finding their other half. Well, as he began to explain, I began to believe that maybe that's me.

 

Does anybody else feel that way? Are some people not meant to be with somebody?

 

Thank you in advance for reading this. God Bless. :o

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It's funny you mention that because my GP just recently told me the same thing. She was referring me to a psychologist because of my issues with anxiety and depression which is particularly bad right now after a tough break up. She said that maybe I'll find that actually I would be happier alone. I was kind of incredulous and said "but you don't mean forever, right?" and she said that some people just find that they're better off that way.

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If you partner up with anyone expect pain...plain and simple.

 

If you want joy, then live a life with yourself.

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I'm like that now. Though things may change at any moment:cool:

 

It feels GREAT to not have the obligation and responsibility of a long term relationship. Its actually hard to let go of the single lifestyle and commit at this point. I really don't want to.

 

It would take an incredible individual to make me give up my wonderful freedom. I have met maybe 2 or 3 in my lifetime like this. And even then..I wouldn't want to be with the same person for the rest of my life.

 

Till death do us part? - sounds like something you would hear in a horror movie.

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RecentChange
If you partner up with anyone expect pain...plain and simple.

 

If you want joy, then live a life with yourself.

 

!?! Wow, I do not agree with this at all. But if that works for you.

 

My relationships have not been dominated by pain. Not in the least.

 

I think that there are some loner types that prefer not to be in a partnership. Growing up deep in the woods, I certainly new a few "hermit in the woods" types that seemed content with their arrangement.

 

I can be a loner in some ways, for example I HAVE to have hours and hours of alone time every week. I enjoy hiking, running and horse back riding by myself. I relish solitude.

 

But I also enjoy sharing my life with my partner, and he brings me great joy, and we support each other. Together neither of us are alone in the world.

 

We are both very independent, tend to keep our own schedules, have seperate sports and hobbies.

 

I like coming home to someone at night. Both of us have small, not tight knit families, so "we" are our family for the most part. Choosing to not have kids also allows us greater freedoms than many couples.

Edited by RecentChange
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I think I'm meant to be on my own.

 

I've known elderly people who never married, and they seemed pretty fine with that.

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I believe some people are better alone.

 

I may be one of those people.

 

I don't have the problems finding someone that others have. I have the opportunity to be married now if I wanted. It's just not what I want because I know how I am. Feel it's best to be honest with myself and her.

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So, a friend of mine mentioned that some people are meant to alone in life. He mentioned this after one of my friends decided to not date anymore. Well, I been single for years now & I'm slowly starting to give up.

 

He mentioned how *some people aren't meant to find their other half & are put on earth to do something significant other than finding their other half. Well, as he began to explain, I began to believe that maybe that's me.

 

Does anybody else feel that way? Are some people not meant to be with somebody?

 

Thank you in advance for reading this. God Bless. :o

 

*Not one person who ever existed ever had 'another half.'

 

Every human being is full and complete in themselves.

 

If a person really wants a partner, they will find one.

 

Not everybody wants one, and thats OK.

 

But:

 

These things are not ruled by fate.

 

They are ruled by choice.

 

And here's the punchline:

 

You don't currently have a partner, because you don't really want one.

 

Not really.

Edited by Satu
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I have to admit this thought is rather tempting. I just don't meet people with any kind of mutual attraction very often. I'm not like others who bump into someone every other week and fall in and out of a relationships easily. I

I've searched all kinds of explanations for this and can't find reasonable ones other than 'some other purpose to my life I guess'. :o

 

Doesn't make life anymore satisfying though when what you really desire is companionship.

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I believe I'm meant to be alone. I feel this way cause as soon as I'm by myself, I think thank god I am by myself now to have my own thoughts and relax. Spending time with another person sucks the life right out of me and I feel exhausted. I prefer to do everything alone, it feels more comfortable this way.

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I have to admit this thought is rather tempting. I just don't meet people with any kind of mutual attraction very often. I'm not like others who bump into someone every other week and fall in and out of a relationships easily. I

I've searched all kinds of explanations for this and can't find reasonable ones other than 'some other purpose to my life I guess'. :o

 

Doesn't make life anymore satisfying though when what you really desire is companionship.

 

Can you have companionship without being in a relationship?

 

Get to know and share life with someone without expectations or a commitment. Just appreciating each other and the time you spend together.

 

Do you think it's possible?

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I believe some people are better alone.

 

I may be one of those people.

 

I don't have the problems finding someone that others have. I have the opportunity to be married now if I wanted. It's just not what I want because I know how I am. Feel it's best to be honest with myself and her.

 

 

Being single when after one has been married or had girlfriends, relationships and can get laid but not wanting that any more is a choice.

 

 

Far different from the man that can not even get a date let alone hold her hand and at least get a good night peck on the cheek at the door and she says: no to a second date, it's not you.

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Can you have companionship without being in a relationship?

 

Get to know and share life with someone without expectations or a commitment. Just appreciating each other and the time you spend together.

 

Do you think it's possible?

 

I've never met anyone who wanted that with me. It may be possible but I just have no idea how to go about it.

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I've never met anyone who wanted that with me. It may be possible but I just have no idea how to go about it.

 

You have a lot of good advice for people on this forum Buddhist and one would hope that you live by your advice for others.

 

As to the OP's original question - yes, personally I think I'm someone who is meant to be alone. I was brought up to be strong and independent (and mostly had those traits naturally - having had children of my own I'll accept 50% nature and 50% nurture so far for them and for me) and although my parents would like to see me "settled down" with someone I think that at nearly 50 years of age it's unlikely to happen. I've been single for a long time now (even whilst in the relationship that had us bear children I was pretty much single, and I was never one to flit from relationship to relationship when I was younger either) and it can be hard to change that kind of mindset.

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Here's my take on this...

 

I am of the belief that we need other people in our lives. I have an inkling that most of us, if by some strange event, were suddenly by ourselves in the world, would become like Tom Hanks on Cast Away, talking to volley balls and losing our minds.

 

Let's also keep in mind that babies DIE if they are not held and shown affection. And our basic emotional needs do not change as we go into adulthood. We still need to be given the attention and affection like those babies need right out of the womb.

 

So...my point is...we need people to meet our emotional needs but this can be done in many ways. It can be through a romantic relationship but it can also be done through friendships, fellowship at religious functions, family, and even our careers.

 

Some don't like the hassles that go with romantic relationships. That's cool. I actually relate to this view.

 

I have also met elderly couples that have been married for many, many years who clearly love each other and can't imagine life without each other. I knew an elderly man, who adored his wife, be absolutely heart broken after his wife passed away. He literally looked like he aged 10 years in one year.

 

So to each their own.

Edited by bachdude
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I know that I'm happier alone. I generally don't go searching for dates and don't feel compelled to go OLD. That said, every now and then someone comes into my life and things to happen. Sadly the last time this happened (what brought me back here) it basically turned into another reminder of why I'm happier to be alone. In my mind, if something happens, then fair enough.. but I'm not going out there to get it and risk the pain I've been through before. Why would I chose that for myself.

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Can you have companionship without being in a relationship?

 

Get to know and share life with someone without expectations or a commitment. Just appreciating each other and the time you spend together.

 

Do you think it's possible?

 

I've also struggled to find people who are ok with that.

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I agree. Through free will choices reasons to many to mention,

some people seem meant to be alone. I do not think it is destiny or fate because it might have been avoidable. Fate says that it is inevitable and un avoidable no matter what. I know a few men who will always be alone and they are okay guys, nothing really wrong with them. Nice.

 

Women can live nicely without men better than men can live without women.

This is an old established truth, I didn't make it up. It's true. So the women alone may prefer that better than the lonely men. Neither wants to admit that they would rather have someone. Older women seem to rather be alone than take a chance of choosing a man who is not perfect forthem.

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Springsummer
So, a friend of mine mentioned that some people are meant to alone in life. He mentioned this after one of my friends decided to not date anymore. Well, I been single for years now & I'm slowly starting to give up.

 

He mentioned how some people aren't meant to find their other half & are put on earth to do something significant other than finding their other half. Well, as he began to explain, I began to believe that maybe that's me.

 

Does anybody else feel that way? Are some people not meant to be with somebody?

 

Thank you in advance for reading this. God Bless. :o

 

Same here.

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Springsummer
Probably because it's easier to accept defeat

 

Life and people are just complicated. Maybe it's just a cost and benefit analysis.

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Some people are meant to be alone?

 

So, a friend of mine mentioned that some people are meant to alone in life. He mentioned this after one of my friends decided to not date anymore. Well, I been single for years now & I'm slowly starting to give up.

He mentioned how some people aren't meant to find their other half & are put on earth to do something significant other than finding their other half. Well, as he began to explain, I began to believe that maybe that's me.

Are some people not meant to be with somebody?

 

I've known elderly people who never married, and they seemed pretty fine with that.

I believe some people are better alone.

 

Sine I have been participating here I usually read an OP, process quickly and give an opinion or observation. This one I sat on for days, pondering.

 

I still try to seek a significant someone. I have had the fortune to be in a couple of what was for a significant period of time to be good quality relationships. Speaking personally, looking back I was clearly a better person for it, I clearly saw and experienced the benefits of having a good loving happy relationship. My problem as I have explained in other threads is I just simply took it for granted and did not work hard enough to maintain it, so now I'm paying for it. Why I said on another thread if you are currently in a happy relationship (or Marriage) don't ever take one freaking second of it for granted.

 

Now you have the current me, while I have been with a good number of women, but only ONE true relationship post marriage #2. Many nice women but things just did not develop. Now I am starting to get comfortable being single, for the first time I actually don’t mind it. Now if I could wave a magic wand and be in a great happy relationship I’d take that in a heartbeat.

 

But Satu has a point here and goes back to the line: Some people are meant to be alone. I seriously don’t agree with this, humans are not wired to be “alone” now whether you can “find” someone to match with that is another matter. Back to Satu…

 

These things are not ruled by fate.

They are ruled by choice.

And here's the punchline:

You don't currently have a partner, because you don't really want one.

Not really.

 

Hmmmm

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He mentioned how some people aren't meant to find their other half & are put on earth to do something significant other than finding their other half.

 

I'm not sure I agree with this philosophy seeing how many famous people that made a huge impact on the world had spouses and relationships.

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