st66 Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Hi there, happy new year! I have had this history with a girl for a good few years now. In a nut shell she had a boyfriend who worked away we became inseparable, I fell for her in a big way told her (when they were on a break) she reciprocated the feelings but nothing happened because she went back with the boyfriend. We cut contact for 2 years, I stupidly got back in contact in July, turns out they had broken up a bout a month before. We have gone down the same road again by slowly taking more, spending more time together, and I know where this is leading again. Over the last few weeks the word 'date' has been used by both of us, one example is the other night when I was playing poker she text me saying 'if you win at poker are you going to take me out on a date?' I then asked her to go out the next night, she was busy but said we could do it another night. This was a few days ago but nothing happened yet. I want to know if people use the word date to friends because to me you wouldn't do that, especially to someone you know has had and has feelings for you? She bought me christmas presents and the words all my love is used in cards etc, she text me new years eve saying 'Happy New Year you absolute gem, love you loads xxxx' She is going away for 4 months in two weeks and I know I need to tell her how I feel (again) and I either want to make a go of it or the friendship can't carry on how it is, not for my own sake. Struggling to see how to tell someone I love for a second time and possibly get rejected again. I know I do a lot to help her out and sometimes do think she plays on that but also know she genuinely cares for me and has had feelings for me in the past, we have always had a very strong connection. So back to the question of is she just playing around asking for us to go out on dates or do you think she means it? Thanks in advance for your help. Link to post Share on other sites
Beach Guy Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 She likes you... can tell that from reading about her interactions with you. Go for it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author st66 Posted January 4, 2016 Author Share Posted January 4, 2016 Thanks for your reply. I have since (last night) told her how I feel and want things to move forward. She then told me she doesn't want to hurt me like she did last time, she referred to it as ruining our friendship as we had about 2 years of no contact. She said she values our friendship for it to be more than that!?! When I said I'm sorry for doing it now as she has so much on she said she wishes I wouldn't think of her feelings in all this as I deserve to be happy etc etc I completely at a loss now, I know we have always been close but surely you shouldn't say certain things to someone if you know there has been a past of feelings. Then to only go completely against it when I went for it. Completely gutted and confused now? Link to post Share on other sites
big dog Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 Sounds like she's just not ready for dating or a relationship etc.... I'd move on if I were you. If it's meant to be it'll happen in it's own time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author st66 Posted January 8, 2016 Author Share Posted January 8, 2016 Sounds like she's just not ready for dating or a relationship etc.... I'd move on if I were you. If it's meant to be it'll happen in it's own time. Good advice and what I intend on doing to be honest.She is going travelling for 3 months soon but I don't think that has any relevance in her decision. I'm just not what she wants is the conclusion I have come to, even with all the history and mixed signals she has given me. Link to post Share on other sites
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