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Not meeting anyone interesting


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For the most part of this year I haven't met anyone I got really interested in. This is a new situation for me and not the usual since I started online dating (about 10 years ago, on and off, with a few relationships and even a short marriage in between). Usually I had several people that interest me getting in touch, and would always find real potential in at least 2-3 people per year.

 

Now... nothing. Hardly see someone that interests me online. Those I meet seem to have issues / baggage / be somewhat boring, etc.

 

I am not sure why this is happening, or how to go about it. Sometimes I feel I am having some kind of dating burnout, but I am eager to find the right person and don't feel like taking time off dating. But at the same time, lately I can't find anyone that I really click with or that I have some hope in.

 

How do you go about it when this happens? Is this how it goes when you date people above 40-45? Not sure what kind of answer I am expecting here, but would be nice to hear some insights.

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This does not happen to me, but my interest is easily aroused by looks. Maybe that is because I am a guy. Also, I do not do online dating.

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Haha. Thanks, but yes, we're probably complete opposites. I am attracted by brains. And I'm a woman ;)

 

And I have not had luck meeting people offline in the country I live in, it just doesn't happen for some reason. (In the country I was born, online dating hardly exists as you don't need it, it's natural to meet people through friends or going out).

 

This does not happen to me, but my interest is easily aroused by looks. Maybe that is because I am a guy. Also, I do not do online dating.
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I feel the same way you do, Edgy.

 

I get excited for 10 minutes, thinking they might be great, then lose interest just as quickly.

 

I'm attributing this problem to myself, not them.

 

I think I'm comfortable/happy single right now. I'm living life on my terms, doing what I want, when I want.

 

I have some great friends, no shortage of hookups and am doing really fun things in life.

 

It would be nice to share these things with someone, but I feel like I'll have to change too much to fit their lifestyle. Give up mine.

 

Do you feel any of these factors or reasons internally?

 

It can't be that everyone sucks now more than they used to, can it?? :lmao:

 

(i sure hope not)

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Sorry to hear loveweary... it sucks to not feel...

 

Certainly have no shortage of hookups if I wanted to. The problem is I am zero interested in hookups at this point. So it's been feeling weird.

 

Yes I somehow feel the problem might be me... I am the one suddenly not finding anyone interesting. But I'm wondering if maybe it's because my demographics changed (I went from dating men in their mid to late 30s to men over 40 up to 50 because it makes more sense on my age. I have a feeling these men are less interesting and although I'm more interested in brains than looks, I still need to feel somewhat attracted... a lot of men this age online are not that cute, or have too much baggage.

 

I am not that worried about giving up my lifestyle... I don't like not having the companion of a special someone in my free time to discuss ideas or do things with (moreso than I appreciate my free time). As much as friends can be fun, it's not the same as having a soulmate around.

 

Ah. I guess I really don't know what's going on with me and how I feel. I had a difficult year (illness in the family and left a job which together threw my life around) so maybe it's that too.

 

I do hope it's not about people sucking lol. It feels this way right now :(

 

I feel the same way you do, Edgy.

 

I get excited for 10 minutes, thinking they might be great, then lose interest just as quickly.

 

I'm attributing this problem to myself, not them.

 

I think I'm comfortable/happy single right now. I'm living life on my terms, doing what I want, when I want.

 

I have some great friends, no shortage of hookups and am doing really fun things in life.

 

It would be nice to share these things with someone, but I feel like I'll have to change too much to fit their lifestyle. Give up mine.

 

Do you feel any of these factors or reasons internally?

 

It can't be that everyone sucks now more than they used to, can it?? :lmao:

 

(i sure hope not)

 

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I understand where you're coming from for sure, and I've always put intelligence above looks which is apparently quite unusual for a man. I love long conversations that challenge me, someone who can come back with a witty retort faster than I can, and frankly, I've found those girls to be pretty rare.

 

I've tried the online dating thing too, and it's hard to get past the tidal wave of duck-faced selfies, women in their 30s pulling out their tongue, and huge eyebrows (seriously ladies, stop that now). I may well be judging those as people with lower intellect but I think that's the problem with looking at a screen rather than a real person. It's kind of like window shopping; you have no incentive to invest anything into it.

 

I need the mental challenge, to have conversations that start on something simple, move through really complicated subjects, and end with us both stimulated and happy. I don't want to discuss what you just watched on television, thanks.

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DrReplyInRhymes
How do you go about it when this happens? Is this how it goes when you date people above 40-45? Not sure what kind of answer I am expecting here, but would be nice to hear some insights.

 

To be very honest, I wouldn't know, that's not my age range,

The few I did know in it just wanted attention and change,

A man in that age who has his stuff together too,

Are generally people who have a lived a full life and aren't ready to woo.

 

I can understand your pain, but OLD is much like a lottery you see,

So many things need to be right, and the timing, as cliche as it seems,

Sure you have access to more, but quality is not determined,

Keep moving forward, you'll find someone within the sea of vermin.

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Sorry to hear loveweary... it sucks to not feel...

 

Certainly have no shortage of hookups if I wanted to. The problem is I am zero interested in hookups at this point. So it's been feeling weird.

 

 

Same. Very tired of them, but I have one of those annoying penis things... :laugh:

 

Yes I somehow feel the problem might be me... I am the one suddenly not finding anyone interesting. But I'm wondering if maybe it's because my demographics changed (I went from dating men in their mid to late 30s to men over 40 up to 50 because it makes more sense on my age. I have a feeling these men are less interesting and although I'm more interested in brains than looks, I still need to feel somewhat attracted... a lot of men this age online are not that cute, or have too much baggage.

 

 

Hmmm... i find the sam problems, which is why I'm always with much younger women. Not sure that's a solution either. lol The baggage part is by far the worst, i agree. I'm even finding the majority of girls in their early 20's uninteresting. Do you find the younger guys uninteresting too, if you look?

 

I am not that worried about giving up my lifestyle... I don't like not having the companion of a special someone in my free time to discuss ideas or do things with (moreso than I appreciate my free time). As much as friends can be fun, it's not the same as having a soulmate around.

 

Completely agree.

 

Ah. I guess I really don't know what's going on with me and how I feel. I had a difficult year (illness in the family and left a job which together threw my life around) so maybe it's that too.

 

I do hope it's not about people sucking lol. It feels this way right now :(

 

 

 

 

Hope it smooths out for you. I know for me it's almost a dating burnout where no one is interesting.

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Completely understand what you are saying. I am finding the same thing. I am probably older than you but I don't know if that's the issue or not. There seem to be lots of guys showing interest on OLD but most are severely lacking in brainpower (or maybe that's why they are showing interest :( ). Not sure what one can do, other than to give up OLD.

 

Some of the best conversations I've had recently have been with guys 20 years younger. I don't know why they've wanted to contact me and I've made it clear I'm looking for someone nearer my own age. They still want to chat and they are fun and interesting to chat to, bright and animated. However, they then tend to want to meet and I know there is no point. They probably have delusional ideas about what someone of my age looks like. I end up having to say goodbye and that's sad and demoralising too.

 

I guess the bright guys of my age group are already taken (sorry if I offend the few that are not). I just don't understand it. If I'd have been so inclined, I could have dated some really gorgeous-looking younger guys. But where are the ones of interest in my own age group? Most can barely send a coherent message. Many look depressed and sullen in their pictures. Quite a few have kinks or strange ideas about a woman's role in a relationship. Others are narcissistic and are more concerned that you know how to dress than anything else. Too many smoke. The whole thing with men is just confusing and disappointing really. I can see why many women just give up on romance altogether and try to build a meaningful life without a partner.

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It sucks that more people feel like me but good to know I am not alone.

 

This whole week I've been trying to see someone decent online but again, no one interests me.

 

I really think it's the new age bracket I'm going for - men really let themselves go or have too much baggage and a lifestyle that doesn't seem inviting, too busy with kids, etc.

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