sly_fly1 Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 I'm getting sick of my gf always putting me on the back burner. It doesn't make sense where her money goes but she has been struggling to pay off about 2000 dollars of debt for like 3 years. She always has an excuse of why she can't pay me of her half of the utility bill. But she had money for Boose.shoping n she'll pay back her parents in a heart beat but when it comes to paying me back, or paying her half of the bills. She won't do it. It's like she thinks my money is her money .she know owes me 700 dollars n it's costing me more money because she not buying groceries anymore either. I tried talking to her about it n she says she's stugglng n I asked why she can afford to buy cloths n Boose n pay back her parents but not me . She says the clothes n Boose only was a little amount n she keeps saying she kept putting off her parents payments. Ugh .like excuses. Does she just not want to help or wtf . What should I do. She seems to think it's ok n that I'm suppose to understand but like I have my own. Bills too n I got out of debt on my own in a short period of time n yet she's always putting it off or avoiding it. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 You've made it clear that you expect to be paid back and she's making it clear that it's not going to happen. It sounds like you don't want to break up with her. So the only solution I can see is to bring in some tough love. Tell her that you can no longer afford to support her and she needs to move out. Tell her that you'll find a new flatmate who will pay their share. Yes, she will get all upset, but you have to stand firm. She does not get to move back in until she can demonstrate regular payments of all her debts and has enough money to be able to pay her share. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sly_fly1 Posted November 23, 2015 Author Share Posted November 23, 2015 Hmmm never thought of that, but your right. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 At the very least sit down with her & make a budget. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sambolini Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 This is exactly why I don't live with anyone else, including girlfriends. Yes, you need to kindly bit firmly tell her she needs to move out since she can't (won't?) pay her fair share. She's a grown human adult. It's not your responsibility to financially care for her. Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 You think you have it bad.... my ex expects to get half the value of the house as part of the property settlement. She earns twice my salary, yet in the 10 years we were together, we never have any money. I never buy anything for myself, i don't drink or smoke or go out with friends, i look around for what i have in my possession to say "that is where my money went" but i have nothing, just some old furniture, old computer and old tv and everything else i own which i bought before i met her. My salary pays the mortgage as it always has, however, now as a single income, the bank says the mortgage is twenty thousand over what they can lend me! On top of that i am paying off one of her personal loans which i am considering as child support payments but she does not accept, according to her i should pay child support in addition too that. So with all this going on, in the 10 months since she moved out, i have somehow managed to save up five thousand dollars!! Just living my life as i have always lived it. She has moved in with her mom, has no rent to pay, no contribution to the mortgage, no contribution to bills, and yet is so short on cash she recently cleaned out our daughters savings account. Interesting isn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 This is a boundary issue. She owes you money, you have told her you want it back, and she is refusing to do so. She is stepping over your boundaries. You have to assert yourself here. It's YOUR money and you deserve it back no excuses. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 You think you have it bad.... my ex expects to get half the value of the house as part of the property settlement. She earns twice my salary, yet in the 10 years we were together, we never have any money. I never buy anything for myself, i don't drink or smoke or go out with friends, i look around for what i have in my possession to say "that is where my money went" but i have nothing, just some old furniture, old computer and old tv and everything else i own which i bought before i met her. My salary pays the mortgage as it always has, however, now as a single income, the bank says the mortgage is twenty thousand over what they can lend me! On top of that i am paying off one of her personal loans which i am considering as child support payments but she does not accept, according to her i should pay child support in addition too that. So with all this going on, in the 10 months since she moved out, i have somehow managed to save up five thousand dollars!! Just living my life as i have always lived it. She has moved in with her mom, has no rent to pay, no contribution to the mortgage, no contribution to bills, and yet is so short on cash she recently cleaned out our daughters savings account. Interesting isn't it? I've had this with an ex too and I feel like such a sap for ever carrying his ass. I saved up £6 grand + when I was alone but when I was with him I was in the minus for the first time in my life. One person cannot carry another. It's just too much of a burden. Link to post Share on other sites
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