Bobbi7 Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I've noticed that when I've been out in public looking average, like jeans, shirt no make up, there has been times when a guy would look my way, strike up a conversation and ask me out. Then, when I'm looking average and a different guy see's me regularly- like a coworker, cashier at the store and they see me on a certain day that I'm dressed nice, wearing makeup, etc, etc, all of a sudden they notice me and talk to me, check me out. I'm like what the heck? What, so I wasnt a decent human to talk to when I'm not all glammed up, but now I am???? Makes no sense. And what about the other guys that ask me out when I'm looking average??? Geez. Don't you think I should be rude to the ones that only talk to me when I look good? Link to post Share on other sites
sambolini Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I've noticed that when I've been out in public looking average, like jeans, shirt no make up, there has been times when a guy would look my way, strike up a conversation and ask me out. Then, when I'm looking average and a different guy see's me regularly- like a coworker, cashier at the store and they see me on a certain day that I'm dressed nice, wearing makeup, etc, etc, all of a sudden they notice me and talk to me, check me out. I'm like what the heck? What, so I wasnt a decent human to talk to when I'm not all glammed up, but now I am???? Makes no sense. And what about the other guys that ask me out when I'm looking average??? Geez. Don't you think I should be rude to the ones that only talk to me when I look good? I think this is human nature. There have been times rolled into work unshaven, wrinkled pants and t-shirt, and no hair gel; I was going for comfort, not style. Women wouldn't even glance at me. The next day I'm shaven, wearing a nice pressed outfit, and hair styled. Guess what? Those same women who walked right by me suddenly smiled at me or said hello. If you want to attract a mate, you have to be attractive. Don't expect men you're not in a committed relationship with to pay attention to you when you're not looking attractive. I certainly don't expect women to look at me when I've done the bare bones minimum to go out in public. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Httm Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I think this is human nature. There have been times rolled into work unshaven, wrinkled pants and t-shirt, and no hair gel; I was going for comfort, not style. Women wouldn't even glance at me. The next day I'm shaven, wearing a nice pressed outfit, and hair styled. Guess what? Those same women who walked right by me suddenly smiled at me or said hello. If you want to attract a mate, you have to be attractive. Don't expect men you're not in a committed relationship with to pay attention to you when you're not looking attractive. I certainly don't expect women to look at me when I've done the bare bones minimum to go out in public. People can both prefer the comfortable look and not dress up. My girlfriend and I made it a point to dress casually from the first date onward. Just make sure everyone is on the same page. Link to post Share on other sites
Httm Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I've noticed that when I've been out in public looking average, like jeans, shirt no make up, there has been times when a guy would look my way, strike up a conversation and ask me out. Then, when I'm looking average and a different guy see's me regularly- like a coworker, cashier at the store and they see me on a certain day that I'm dressed nice, wearing makeup, etc, etc, all of a sudden they notice me and talk to me, check me out. I'm like what the heck? What, so I wasnt a decent human to talk to when I'm not all glammed up, but now I am???? Makes no sense. And what about the other guys that ask me out when I'm looking average??? Geez. Don't you think I should be rude to the ones that only talk to me when I look good? Most people are superficial and shallow. This is human nature. Link to post Share on other sites
sambolini Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 People can both prefer the comfortable look and not dress up. My girlfriend and I made it a point to dress casually from the first date onward. Just make sure everyone is on the same page. Define casual. Sweats and a shirt with holes? Jeans and a collared t-shirt? Generic slacks and a long sleeve collared shirt but no tie? Generally, people like people who maintain their appearance. Quite often, a person's outward appearance is a reflection of their lifestyle. I'm not going to be interested in a woman who looks like this:https://www.google.com/search?q=penny+big+bang+gross&prmd=ivsn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAWoVChMIvt_ziLnoyAIV0zGICh1GXQOj#imgrc=Y8Y4qROTDhlH5M%3A 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Httm Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Define casual. Sweats and a shirt with holes? Jeans and a collared t-shirt? Generic slacks and a long sleeve collared shirt but no tie? Generally, people like people who maintain their appearance. Quite often, a person's outward appearance is a reflection of their lifestyle. I'm not going to be interested in a woman who looks like this:https://www.google.com/search?q=penny+big+bang+gross&prmd=ivsn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAWoVChMIvt_ziLnoyAIV0zGICh1GXQOj#imgrc=Y8Y4qROTDhlH5M%3A For me, jean, t-shirt, and a hat. I guarantee that if you tried to gleam much off of me by the casual style of my clothes, you'd be miles off. Clothing is just a mask. People might like to think that it is an accurate reflection of themselves, but if that were truly the case, you'd be able to easily find a lifemate based on how they dress, no? If I were to jump to a "quite often," I'd go in the other direction and say that people dress to put on a show. Whether the show is real or not is anyone's guess. I am also not materialistic, so the whole dress "up" is even more of a sham to me. It is more like dressing down in my opinion. It looks fake, and for men, looks quite clone like. Fake and attempting to impress. I don't particularly feel any identity in such dress. I want any potential partner to be relaxed and comfy, not putting up fronts. I want to get to know the real them. Not the facades. Just my opinion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Male Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 I've noticed that when I've been out in public looking average, like jeans, shirt no make up, there has been times when a guy would look my way, strike up a conversation and ask me out. Then, when I'm looking average and a different guy see's me regularly- like a coworker, cashier at the store and they see me on a certain day that I'm dressed nice, wearing makeup, etc, etc, all of a sudden they notice me and talk to me, check me out. I'm like what the heck? What, so I wasnt a decent human to talk to when I'm not all glammed up, but now I am???? Makes no sense. And what about the other guys that ask me out when I'm looking average??? Geez. Don't you think I should be rude to the ones that only talk to me when I look good? Thats actually pretty rare. MOST women in my experience get mad when guys try to talk to them when they are NOT all dressed up. The women say that they feel like crap, look like crap, and get offended because a guy actually wants to talk to them looking that way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sportygirl89 Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 I've actually been hit on when I've had gym clothes on and had just come from the gym. It has happened more than once. Link to post Share on other sites
MightyPen Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 This isn't limited to romantic interest. People respond differently to the same person depending on how he/she is dressed, groomed, etc. I've been in the same grocery store dressed in ratty clothes (old tshirt and shorts with crazy uncombed hair) and other times professional clothes (suit, well combed hair, clean-shaven, shiny shoes) and yeah, I get treated differently by everyone based on how I present myself. When I'm professionally dressed, old ladies ask me to get stuff off the shelf for them. Women/moms seem more receptive to chit chat. I get more "Good afternoon, sir," type of comments from employees and such. I'm the same person as my ratty self, but I'm just presenting myself in a way that says, "I'm respectable, safe to talk to, and probably a valued customer who has/spends money." When I'm all bummed out, I sometimes feel like I'm lumped in with certain demographic groups that aren't all that desirable for assistance or casual conversation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Httm Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 This isn't limited to romantic interest. People respond differently to the same person depending on how he/she is dressed, groomed, etc. I've been in the same grocery store dressed in ratty clothes (old tshirt and shorts with crazy uncombed hair) and other times professional clothes (suit, well combed hair, clean-shaven, shiny shoes) and yeah, I get treated differently by everyone based on how I present myself. When I'm professionally dressed, old ladies ask me to get stuff off the shelf for them. Women/moms seem more receptive to chit chat. I get more "Good afternoon, sir," type of comments from employees and such. I'm the same person as my ratty self, but I'm just presenting myself in a way that says, "I'm respectable, safe to talk to, and probably a valued customer who has/spends money." When I'm all bummed out, I sometimes feel like I'm lumped in with certain demographic groups that aren't all that desirable for assistance or casual conversation. Absolutely. Work dress is for show. People are superficial that way. I just don't like my relationships to be based on such things : ). Link to post Share on other sites
HopeForTomorrow Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Casual dress does not mean sloppy. Went to Kroger tonight wearing skinny jeans, thigh high boots, and matching leather jacket. Casual dress should look good. One of my ex-boyfriends said I dress with "class and sass" (he was really hot and a great dresser too so I took this with a lot of weight). I think that is a pretty good description. Just dress well, casual or not, and then put your own spin on it. People will either like it or they won't. Link to post Share on other sites
dragonfire13 Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 I've noticed this at work too, the male colleagues are a lot more helpful and courteous on the days I make more effort...on the days when I just cant be bothered, it's like I'm invisible LOL! By that same token, I'm more likely to get asked out by a guy when I'm dressed casually and wearing light make up, then when I go all-out glam mode for nights out. The latter gets more stares for sure, but I do think men get nervous asking an ultra-glam looking girl out. Link to post Share on other sites
Male Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Casual dress does not mean sloppy. Went to Kroger tonight wearing skinny jeans, thigh high boots, and matching leather jacket. Casual dress should look good. One of my ex-boyfriends said I dress with "class and sass" (he was really hot and a great dresser too so I took this with a lot of weight). I think that is a pretty good description. Just dress well, casual or not, and then put your own spin on it. People will either like it or they won't. If you got it flaunt it. Class, not ass. Class plus ass, that's Beyonce. GirlCode Link to post Share on other sites
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