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If you divorced after you or your WS had an affair, did you:


If you divorced after you or your WS had an affair, did you:  

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compulsivedancer

If you divorced after you or your WS had an affair, did you:

 

1) Divorce as soon as you could make it happen?

2) Attempt to reconcile for under 6 months?

3) 6-12 months

4) 1-2 years

5) Broke up due to affair after 2 or more years of R?

6) Eventually divorced for other reasons

 

 

Elaborate in the comments if you like.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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It is more than 30 years ago, but I was out the house under a minute.

My love for my wife was gone in an instant, been with her for 8 years, married 41\2.

Never seen or spoke to her again.

 

Dutchman 1

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compulsivedancer

If you separated or otherwise ended the relationship, but didn't divorce, count it that way. For example, my ex and I haven't officially divorced yet, but we have been separated almost a year, so I wouldn't consider that part of our reconciliation period.

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  • 11 months later...

I had him move out shortly after I found out. My mind was immediately set on divorce. After a year separated I said I would try to reconcile. I didn't have the heart to put any real effort into. It was very short lived, maybe a few weeks. We are divorced and he is still trying to win me back.

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  • 9 months later...
somanymistakes

I don't understand why they do that... I mean intellectually I understand, some people just want more, but emotionally I can't understand why someone would cheat if they didn't want to get out of their current relationship, i don't see how they can do it and then beg to be taken back.

 

my head gets it, my heart doesn't.

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MuddyFootprints

We didn't divorce. There was no begging. There were discussions, negations, there was an agreement to commit to rebuilding.

 

I didn't do much right according to the remorseful ww reconciliation handbook. I still don't.

 

I don't have much left to offer or gain from posting here.

 

We are still feeling the effects of the infidelity hangover. Posting and reading here seems to draw it out.

 

Healing will be complete when I no longer feel the need to log in.

 

Much thanks to you all.

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compulsivedancer
We didn't divorce. There was no begging. There were discussions, negations, there was an agreement to commit to rebuilding.

 

I didn't do much right according to the remorseful ww reconciliation handbook. I still don't.

 

I don't have much left to offer or gain from posting here.

 

We are still feeling the effects of the infidelity hangover. Posting and reading here seems to draw it out.

 

Healing will be complete when I no longer feel the need to log in.

 

Much thanks to you all.

 

I log on occasionally when I'm bored, but I very rarely visit the infidelity section any more. There's nothing left for me there, and while the perspectives were useful, I'm not sure the general advice was actually healthy or wise. Either way, I've moved on, I have a new family with an amazing man, two step-kids and a baby. There's not much left to explore.

 

Muddy footprints, I wish you well. I guess all you can do is decide whether you want to live with the hangover indefinitely or cut ties. There's not much else left. :/ I hope you guys figure it out. Limbo sucks.

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I'm not sure whether or not I set another record here...

 

I found out about his affair on a Thursday, was at the solicitors on the Friday and he got the divorce papers a week later. The solicitor requested he leave and he was gone within a month ( he dragged his feet a bit ! )

 

I got the divorce 5 months later.

 

On DD I gave him the chance to stop his affair and he refused saying that he "didn't want it to end" because "loved her". That finished it for me. :mad:

 

The other factor that propelled me speedily to the divorce court was 7 months of his sulking, nastiness and gaslighting. I was really beginning to doubt my own reality so when DD came it was a relief and I felt vindicated.

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MuddyFootprints
I log on occasionally when I'm bored, but I very rarely visit the infidelity section any more. There's nothing left for me there, and while the perspectives were useful, I'm not sure the general advice was actually healthy or wise. Either way, I've moved on, I have a new family with an amazing man, two step-kids and a baby. There's not much left to explore.

 

Muddy footprints, I wish you well. I guess all you can do is decide whether you want to live with the hangover indefinitely or cut ties. There's not much else left. :/ I hope you guys figure it out. Limbo sucks.

 

There is no limbo, we are more solid as a couple and a family than ever. We still discuss it, but mostly because I'm reading here.

 

I'm happy for you, Cd.

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compulsivedancer
There is no limbo, we are more solid as a couple and a family than ever. We still discuss it, but mostly because I'm reading here.

 

I'm happy for you, Cd.

 

That's good to hear. I think I misinterpreted your previous post. Cut yourself some slack and don't keep picking your scabs! If this place makes it harder to heal, cut ties! :)

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