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Ladies who are in a LTR'with a younger man


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What made you give this guy a chance and not think he was just out to get an easy lay?

 

Were you friends first or something?

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:laugh: You did do it, funny. Yes, we were friends for months before we became physically involved.

 

BUT, it isn't any different than any other relationship for me. I knew it wasn't about being an easy lay because......I'm not an easy lay. No reason to change my style because he's younger.

 

Why would the guy being younger have to be about easy sex? :confused:

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:laugh: You did do it, funny. Yes, we were friends for months before we became physically involved.

 

BUT, it isn't any different than any other relationship for me. I knew it wasn't about being an easy lay because......I'm not an easy lay. No reason to change my style because he's younger.

 

Why would the guy being younger have to be about easy sex? :confused:

 

I didn't do anything. I haven't even been out with a younger guy yet but they ask (we're NOT friends first) and I just can't stop asking this question.

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Why would the guy being younger have to be about easy sex? :confused:

 

I don't understand the connection between age and easy sex, either. When I was in my early 30s I dated a woman in her early 40s. It wasn't about easy sex.

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I didn't do anything. I haven't even been out with a younger guy yet but they ask (we're NOT friends first) and I just can't stop asking this question.

 

Sorry, I meant that you said that you were going to start this thread and you did. That's all.

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They are probably no different than older men in terms of wanting sex, but the future outlook is not as bright.

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Sorry, I meant that you said that you were going to start this thread and you did. That's all.

 

Oh I have another one I'm starting but I'm running late for work...

 

This weekend will be an active posting weekend for me. :( Lol.

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I don't understand the connection between age and easy sex, either. When I was in my early 30s I dated a woman in her early 40s. It wasn't about easy sex.

 

Thank you, I can speak for my self and say that I have always been picky and kind of a pain to get.

 

There are probably others who are just looking for that? Then it would be like any other FWB or hook up I guess, not an LTR.

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I don't understand the connection between age and easy sex, either. When I was in my early 30s I dated a woman in her early 40s. It wasn't about easy sex.

 

But why date her, why not date someone your age?

 

I see so many younger guys on the dating site who change their age to older so they can circumvent the age restrictions the dating site imposes and I'm like why?

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But why date her, why not date someone your age?

 

Seriously? We dated because we liked each other, were attracted to each other, and had a lot in common.

 

"Easy sex" can be found in any age group. I don't understand why a man would have to focus on "older" women to get easy sex, or why someone interested in someone older would only be in it for the sex.

 

What about younger women going for older men? Are they in it only for the sex? Are they in it only for the money?

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I think you're looking at it from the perspective that older women are somehow less valuable than younger Popsicle, but that's a falsehood. It's just a difference on the level of a girl being a brunette or a blonde. Some guys like one, other guys the other. Some just date the person they connect with. Despite age or hair color.

 

If you're looking to not get used for sex it's way more important to judge a guy on his actions, not his age. There are guys in all age groups who will use you and others who won't. If you can get yourself comfortable and confident with the idea a younger guy might actually be way into you a whole new world of possibilities opens up.

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Michelle ma Belle

I've been in a LTR with my man for nearly 3 years now. He's 13 years younger than me.

 

Dating younger men was never my goal or even anything I seriously considered despite the scads of attention I got from them both online and in real life when I started dating again after my divorce. It just didn't even register in my brain to date younger since I've always been attracted to and dated men older than me even when I was a teen. Why would it be any different in my forties?

 

It wasn't until a friend of mine scolded me about my "prejudice" and demanded I reconsider. Since the pool of available men MY age was pathetically shallow I, albeit reluctantly opened myself up to all possibilities.

 

And yes, there are definitely young men who are nothing but a one trick pony out for one thing only BUT there are just as many who will surprise you. I mean, bad dates, bad relationships, one-night-stands, NSA, f*ck 'em and leave 'em attitudes, a**holes, etc....aren't exclusively young men behaviors. And being advanced in age doesn't guarantee that a guy will be a perfect gentleman or marriage material. If you date long enough you'll come to realize this pretty quickly.

 

In my particular case, we did everything backwards. It started out as just fun and sex but then blossomed into something magnificent pretty quickly.

 

It definitely wasn't expected nor planned but it happened and it's been hands down the happiest and most fulfilling relationships I've ever had.

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Now I have to go shopping so I can cook someone who's older than me dinner tonight. :p Good luck popsicle.

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Michelle ma Belle
I think you're looking at it from the perspective that older women are somehow less valuable than younger Popsicle, but that's a falsehood. It's just a difference on the level of a girl being a brunette or a blonde. Some guys like one, other guys the other. Some just date the person they connect with. Despite age or hair color.

 

If you're looking to not get used for sex it's way more important to judge a guy on his actions, not his age. There are guys in all age groups who will use you and others who won't. If you can get yourself comfortable and confident with the idea a younger guy might actually be way into you a whole new world of possibilities opens up.

 

I second this.

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But why date her, why not date someone your age?

 

I see so many younger guys on the dating site who change their age to older so they can circumvent the age restrictions the dating site imposes and I'm like why?

 

If I may and then I will respectfully bow out.....I think you are asking about MILF/Cougar stereotypes?

 

Maybe also the commonly held belief that younger women are always fitter, prettier and more of a status symbol for men. Every man wants a younger woman and what man with his faculties would want an older woman? Especially a young man?

 

In this regard, I understand your question.

Not every woman with a younger man is a cougar, having her 'mid-life' crisis or desperate to get laid. Not every older woman looks 'old.'

 

This is my first relationship with a younger man and if you had asked me last year if I ever would, I would have said.......nooo.

 

We are together for the same reasons any couple are together. We get each other, we have intellectually stimulating conversations and are attracted to each other. We have the same chances of success as any other relationship.

 

It doesn't hurt that while we are out and about I don't 'look' older than him. Like any other man I have been with, people wonder 'how did he get her.' :cool: Joking but not really.

 

There is a curiosity I suppose and nothing wrong with asking. Hopefully you will get responses from various perspectives and it will be a good ole' LS discussion.

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I'm married to a younger guy. We were not friends 1st. We met at a business networking event & started dating from there.

 

 

I never thought he was just in it for an easy lay because I'm not an easy lay. Anybody who spends time with me would know that.

 

 

I did have a mini freak out a few weeks in because I was almost 40 & if he dated a woman 5 years younger then him, she'd be in her 20s. I felt old & insecure but he assured me age wasn't an issue.

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Thank you all for your thoughts and replies. I am taking it all in. I was not asking about Cougars or anything like that. I don't even believe in that. I can also understand if you started out as friends first or met some other organic way and fell into it, I just don't understand why a guy would deliberately change his age on a dating site to deliberately target older women?

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I just don't understand why a guy would deliberately change his age on a dating site to deliberately target older women?

 

 

Lying & deception are different animals then simply being younger. I would be highly suspicious of such a person

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Lying & deception are different animals then simply being younger. I would be highly suspicious of such a person

 

Well they don't lie lie. They say in their profile that they are actually such and such younger age but had to put that they were older to get around the websites age restriction for who you can message. They say this publicly in their profile.

 

But I don't get why they would deliberately go after older women.

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If I were to meet a man of my age who wanted to spend time with me and I him then I'd jump at the chance. But even then there's no guarantee we'd gel and get on, even though we'd have age and therefore some common experiences in common. It's fair to say I get real life and online attention from younger men, possibly because I don't quite look my age, and I have been chased by the younger men online simply because I am older - I've been asked by nearly all of them if I've ever slept with a younger man and if so how young would I "go". So it's been pretty clear that those men have only been after sex with an older woman, and to be honest I've cut those conversations short pretty quickly because I'm not looking to be someone's FB.

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Shining One
But I don't get why they would deliberately go after older women.
For a few years, I only attracted women in two categories: ~10 Years Older and ~10 Years Younger. No one around my age would give me the time of day. This gave me an interesting perspective and I much preferred the older women.

  • Less drama.
  • Better conversation.
  • Much better sex.
  • More confidence.
  • More established financially.

Those are just a few thoughts that come to mind. The only thing the younger women had going for them was better looks.

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blackcat777

My man and I thought we were WAAAAY closer in age than we turned out to be. :o

 

We just hit it off right away. It was organic. One of the reasons he values me so much is that I am NOT an easy lay like all the younger girls that surround him.

 

Sometimes, two people just click.

 

Now, guys on dating sites who specifically target older women, I would say, are more likely than not looking for an experienced hookup partner. Dating sites are oh-so-often about finding the hottest lay with the least resistance.

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....guys on dating sites who specifically target older women, I would say, are more likely than not looking for an experienced hookup partner. Dating sites are oh-so-often about finding the hottest lay with the least resistance.

 

Definitely this.

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Well they don't lie lie. They say in their profile that they are actually such and such younger age but had to put that they were older to get around the websites age restriction for who you can message. They say this publicly in their profile.

 

But I don't get why they would deliberately go after older women.

 

Probably due to the American Pie franchise.

 

I don't doubt that some (many?) younger men on OLD sites believe that older women are or want to be cougars and/or are desperate/grateful for [any] attention and/or will be an easier lay,

 

 

but most of the women I know who are my age (50s) are none of those things. What most of us are is surer of who we are, surer of what we want (and won't tolerate), and freer to come and go as we please...financially and with our time and energy.

 

Those can be attractive traits to any person (male or female) and when exhibited by any person (male or female), regardless of the actual chronological age.

 

:)

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