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Hi,

 

I am wanting to know what the consensus is on boyfriends/partners following girls on Instagram/Twitter and Facebook and liking and commenting on their photos.

 

My bf follows loads of women and is 'friends' with loads of women on Facebook that he either met briefly or doesn't really know. On Instagram and Twitter these women are scantily clad posting photos of their various body parts…in loads of sexy poses. Some are women with a few followers (normal women) and some are normal women with lots of followers and some are playboy bunnies…and some are famous - although the famous ones don't do sexy naked shots.

 

Now I understand all men and women 'look' at others and appreciate others bodies - and it is a choice to stay with your significant other and not cheat as it is purely looking and there is no want or desire to do anything with these people we look at. However you would not tell your SO if you saw someone that you appreciated incase it may upset them. I understand how Porn can excite both men and women and if used together especially can be great.

 

But i do not get the want to follow women and like and comment on their posts as this creates a connection and to me seems a step further by not just appreciating but showing that appreciating for everyone to see…which disrespects and upsets your SO. I would understand if he looked at pictures of women he doesn't know privately and had no contact with them….but to blatantly follow women in order to see their photos and comment and like makes me feel really uncomfortable. I am secure in myself - I believe I am a very attractive, sexy woman myself and am not threatened by these women - I just don't want to see what he likes - and I don't like the fact he communicates with them through commenting.

 

If you have a partner you should do everything in your power to make them feel special and the only one for you.

 

The other thing is - he follows some girls who are 16/17/18/19 and I have a 9 year old daughter - I am scared that he will look at her that way in a few years…

 

I feel really strongly about this but it is ruining what is otherwise an amazing relationship.

 

What are your thoughts?? Thanks..xxx

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Jacob_Duluoz

You should weird him out by liking his comments and see how he reacts, either that or start a serious conversation. Also it's disturbing they are so young and your concern about your daughter is well warranted. It would be different if it was just celebrities or musicians or something.

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Thank you for replying...He said he would delete the random women - but he hasn't and some have private accounts…but even the famous porn stars and playboy bunnies - I don't like seeing their photos either…just don't feel special and don't like being able to see what women he likes…x

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Jacob_Duluoz
Thank you for replying...He said he would delete the random women - but he hasn't and some have private accounts…but even the famous porn stars and playboy bunnies - I don't like seeing their photos either…just don't feel special and don't like being able to see what women he likes…x

 

You're welcome. You communicated your wishes, but it sounds like that hasn't deterred him. It sounds like he's not just looking for a release but rather this is something critical to his daily life such that you've taken notice. He has a choice to make, fantasize or live life with you. Decide how hard you want to fight for it or start considering flight.

 

Good luck.

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Thank you. We had another talk about it last night. He said they are wome he has followed over the years since joining instagram twitter and Facebook. He has suspended his instagram account and says he will go through his twitter...so we shall see :) x

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dragonfire13

I think you will find this article helpful: Ladies, Here?s A Breakdown Of When To Panic Over Your Boyfriend?s Social Media | Thought Catalog

 

 

On a personal note, my now ex boyfriend used to follow girls on Twitter who were his "friends".

 

Emphasis on the word "ex".

 

I honestly wish I had dumped his @ss as soon as I confronted him about his loser-fied social media habits. Although I'm certain he never cheated, I was always keeping an eye on his social media activity, which is never healthy in a relationship.

 

In my honest opinion, any guy worth his salt wont need to get his jollies off social media hotties when he's in a relationship. If he wants to do that, he should be single.

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Hi. Thanks for replying and thanks for the link. I have seen it before....didn't like the bit where it said mainly women have the problem with provocative accounts because they are more self conscious about body image. It is not that for me...I just don't like it ...understand all people look but I think commenting liking and following someone is taking it further...making a connection with someone else.

And yes I completely agree...I don't know what to do though. ...before this I liked everything about him and all was good and he gets on well with my kids. Since finding this out...and telling him I don't like it...

 

 

He is upset that I am upset - and said he would unfollow them and delete his instagram - he just didn't….has now deleted instagram and says he will….think he just hasn't found the time - but with something like this I think you find the time**

 

Part of me thinks I am being silly - because I really don't mind porn etc…it just does really upset me that he follows these girls - I want a man to make me feel special and I don't feel particularly special**

 

There is just one other thing that is niggling me - well two…when I brought it up - he turned it round on me - said he wasn't sure he wanted a relationship with me coz I have kids….we are 7 months in….then after some thought - said he was wrong - I was amazing - he isn't sure he can have kids and what I am offering him is amazing….but when he didn't go through the twitter and I asked again - he brought it up again…and the second thing is - again when I brought this all up he said he knows he says things he doesn't necessarily mean and gets carried away in the moment…so now unsure of what he says to me is true. God I am sounding insecure…..but I am divorced and basically don't want to make a mistake - as kids involved.**

 

It was all so good…:) xxx

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All of the guys I know who follow and like a bunch of scantily clad women on social media are douchebags, every one of them. If I were you, I would be very concerned.

 

I don't know any..and did think it was weird. Oh God! ! What to do! !

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Having suspended his instagram account - he has reinstated it with all the women still on there and twitter hasn't changed - guess he has made his mind up...

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