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family, boyfriend, money


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So as you know maybe, I have a bf who is living at home and working a job for a decent but not a good amount of money. he just graduated and he is working on bigger and better things.

But me, I am almost done with college. I want normal things in life- house, car, kids, etc. To be comfy. That is what he and i want.

Then, When i visit my parents, i become overwhelmed. they are wealthy, big house, live nicely. When i come home all of a suddent i feel like what i want is not good enough and that he and i are not good enough. It just isnt good enough and that we are inferior. My parents do not say anything like this, i dont ever get any messages like that, but it comes from inside of me.

Is this normal? WHat the hell can i do about it? I want to move to another city because i feel much better and just fine and good there, i dont get all nutty with my boyfriend and we are happy. when i come here i turn nutty. help!!!

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this is normal

 

unfortunately, I have bad new for you

 

you were raised in a "certain" lifestyle and that is the lifestyle you will want to live in when you get older. There is nothing you can do about it cause it is already ingrained in you since a young age. It would be like trying to alter your genetic DNA.

 

this is the "voice" that is speaking to you.

 

I know this "voice". I was raised upper middle class also.

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Originally posted by it'smehello

explain more

 

exactly what is your age it'smehello?

 

if you are under 25 or so you will not understand this

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22. almost 23. i do realize i want nice things so does my bf. but i dunno, what my parents have ar emillions. i dunno that i want that. too much responsibility

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Originally posted by it'smehello

22. almost 23. i do realize i want nice things so does my bf. but i dunno, what my parents have ar emillions. i dunno that i want that. too much responsibility

 

well itsmehello:

 

my family is loaded too. what you think at 22 yrs of age and 35 yrs of age are two different things. just remember that it is already ingrained in you cause of your upbringing.

 

why do you think that the rich marry the rich??

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Originally posted by it'smehello

you really are giving me nothing to work with here. Make me think, i like that.

 

I really don't feel like explaing and you most likely would not understand due to your age and lack of life experience. Ask your parents, it is their responsibility.

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I think they are trying to say that since you've grown accustomed to having nice things, a big house, lots of money, that in time once you begin to age a little the youthfullness of "young love" will grow old and you'll look around yourself and be bitter because if you're working and living in lower class beyond what you're used to then you won't be able to spend a lot of money or have all the nice things you've grown used to.

 

 

On the other hand if you don't blow money like it's going out of style and you know the value of a dollar and you really are in love and your bf is working hard and wants to build a future and the both of you work then there should be no reason why you can't have a happy life.

 

 

Maybe this "voice" in you is afraid that your parents will be disappointed in you and feel you "settled" and maybe you inside are fearing that if you don't marry or be with someone who's equally as rich as you are that you'll be "settling" and "missing out" on things.....??

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