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Example why women must watch for red flags


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Irving Teen Charged With Choking 16-Year-Old Ex-Girlfriend to Death | CW33 NewsFix

 

This story just happened in a suburb of Dallas. A teen boy who couldn't take "no" for an answer choked and killed the ex-girlfriend when she tried to leave the house. One report said he said he choked her because she wouldn't have sex. I heard on the news he confessed, but this article doesn't say it.

 

On a related note,

I came across something interesting recently. You sometimes hear about these murders where the guy kills his wife and sometimes family and sometime himself, and everyone will swear he was an okay harmless guy who never had done anything before. So conventional wisdom has been that they simply haven't been reported for it and that it couldn't just come up from nowhere. Well, this guy was saying there are guys like that. The illustration that was used was a particular case where a man killed his wife after she asked for a divorce. She wanted a divorce because he would never go out and do social things with her and didn't want her going with other people. So he basically was a reclusive homebody.

 

What this investigator theorized was that this was a guy who didn't put himself out there, so he couldn't handle many situations, and the way he put it is he couldn't process his emotions and so when he get into a stressful situation (impending divorce) his ability to deal with and control his emotions and process normal stuff most people can process failed him. So his only coping mechanism was to put a stop to it. So he killed his wife. So he says you can go from law abiding to murder if you're a particular type of person with limited inner resources.

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Shining One
Irving Teen Charged With Choking 16-Year-Old Ex-Girlfriend to Death | CW33 NewsFix

 

This story just happened in a suburb of Dallas. A teen boy who couldn't take "no" for an answer choked and killed the ex-girlfriend when she tried to leave the house. One report said he said he choked her because she wouldn't have sex. I heard on the news he confessed, but this article doesn't say it.

Tragic story, but what red flags were ignored? Is there another article covering this?
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On the last part, the fact that you have a guy who refuses to go do anything, even with his wife. Doesn't really want to leave the house. Normal people want to at least get out occasionally. The fact that he didn't points to him having either some social anxiety or some type of social deficit, which I guess means he basically refuses to deal with at least those emotions and limits his exposure and experience in general knowing how to cope. He hides instead of learning how to cope. Now, that's how I interpreted it. There's no link. I was surfing and jumping from one place to another trying to follow a story and just ran across it.

 

In case there's confusion, the last part and the part about the choking is different cases. There are more articles on the choking. His name is Boyd and if you google Boyd and choked it will come in today's news. They don't have much info on the Boyd thing yet but he did confess. I heard it again on the tv news. He was just trying to bully her into having sex with him after she'd broken up with him.

Edited by preraph
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Whenever something horrible like this happens, we all want to tell ourselves the victim could have prevented it in some way, so that we feel more in control. But unfortunately it's random fate. In general, a person's staying in a lot does not suggest that he is a murderer.

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According to this...

 

 

List of countries by intentional homicide rate - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

 

The homicide rate in the US per 100,000 people is 16.3.

 

 

Most homicides occur between people who know each other.

 

 

Most homicides are committed by men.

 

 

So it stands to reason that both men and women need to watch out for other men, especially in the US. That said, do the math. 16.3/100,000 is 0.0163%. Very small overall. Our penchant for this kind of news makes it seem like it happens a lot more.

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GorillaTheater

The homicide rate in the US per 100,000 people is 16.3.

 

4.7, actually. Watch out for those dudes from Honduras and try to find a nice guy from Liechtenstein.

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Well to be fair just because on average they're less likely to kill you doesn't mean it's a good idea to not keep your guard up when around the other gender.

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Well to be fair just because on average they're less likely to kill you doesn't mean it's a good idea to not keep your guard up when around the other gender.

 

True enough!

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According to this...

 

 

List of countries by intentional homicide rate - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

 

The homicide rate in the US per 100,000 people is 16.3.

 

 

Most homicides occur between people who know each other.

 

 

Most homicides are committed by men.

 

 

So it stands to reason that both men and women need to watch out for other men, especially in the US. That said, do the math. 16.3/100,000 is 0.0163%. Very small overall. Our penchant for this kind of news makes it seem like it happens a lot more.

 

That's right, because most men are also murdered or attacked by other men. The Bureau of Crime Statistics, which is the official U.S. Department of Justice stats, when I read some, I think 2005 statistics a few years ago, caution to keep in mind that on "violent offender" crimes, those will also include bar fights, etc., which really runs up the numbers of men who are victims. But they're usually fighting amongst themselves more or less voluntarily. But not always of course. But that is what inflates their statistics.

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minimariah
On the last part, the fact that you have a guy who refuses to go do anything, even with his wife. Doesn't really want to leave the house.

 

that's not a red - flag -- in most cases, that's a type of character or a symptom of a disorder (Asperger's, for example). no one could've predicted this outcome, really.

 

what's a four word letter for surviving & successfully avoiding a possible murdered? luck. it's all about luck.

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minimariah
Whenever something horrible like this happens, we all want to tell ourselves the victim could have prevented it in some way, so that we feel more in control.

 

this.

 

it's a defense mechanism.

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Whenever something horrible like this happens, we all want to tell ourselves the victim could have prevented it in some way, so that we feel more in control. But unfortunately it's random fate. In general, a person's staying in a lot does not suggest that he is a murderer.

 

It shows they have poor coping skills, though, which can make a situation escalate.

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minimariah
It shows they have poor coping skills, though, which can make a situation escalate.

 

it doesn't, it shows that they have poor SOCIAL skills. not coping skills, that has nothing to do with coping. things can always escalate, you really cannot predict that outside of some super obvious signs.

 

what's a four word letter...

 

four letter word*

 

lol.

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4.7, actually. Watch out for those dudes from Honduras and try to find a nice guy from Liechtenstein.

 

Yea right? It looks like Washington DC is skewing the numbers big time. Only 3.5 out of 100,000 in NY.

 

I'd be ok with a guy from Liechtenstein ;)

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that's not a red - flag -- in most cases, that's a type of character or a symptom of a disorder (Asperger's, for example). no one could've predicted this outcome, really.

 

what's a four word letter for surviving & successfully avoiding a possible murdered? luck. it's all about luck.

 

Yes, but people high on pretty much any of the character traits (which then become disorders at that level best I understand it and I know there's all kinds of differing theories) have a LOT of trouble coping, and the point is that that can be dangerous, even if the character trait is a seemingly harmless looking one. They can't cope and can be irrational and overreact or they just desperately want to control the situation and act irrationally. It's just an interesting thing to think about, and it makes sense in at least some cases. It's for those who are high on that scale. We all have a combination of character traits. The people who are very high in one or more of them can have a real deficit in coping and being rational.

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