littlemisscurious Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 its been 4 months since my husband started playing an online game called clash of clans. he totally gets addicted to it. he would rather spend time playing it than spending time with me. there was a time that i shared a little story to him and i caught him laughing. i thought he's listening to me but then i realized he laughed n0t bec of my st0ry but bec of the people he's chatting with while playing. there was als0 a time when i asked him t0 d0 s0mething then he said yes then after that, he f0rg0ts what i'm asking him t0 d0. its like he's in an0ther w0rld and i am talking to myself. just like in s0ngs "so near, yet s0 far". i tried to talked to him regarding this matter. i t0ld him that it's okay t0 play but d0n't get addicted to it and st0p ign0ring me. he just said yes and there he g0es again- face infr0nt of the tablet. i tried n0t t0 talk t0 him (silent treatment) h0ping that he w0uld n0tice that i feel bad to what he's d0ing but n0thing happened, he still ign0res me and did n0thing to make me feel better. i am n0w starting t0 think that he w0uld rather l0se me than his ****ing 0nline game! and while i'm typing this, guess what's he's d0ing- PLAYING. i think i married a teenage kid obsessed with online game. i really d0n't kn0w what t0 d0 anym0re. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 i really d0n't kn0w what t0 d0 anym0re. Have you talked to him and told him how you feel? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Have you talked to him and told him how you feel? According to OP yes, and he just went on playing... Link to post Share on other sites
Grilled_Salmon Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 How many hours does he spend on playing the game? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 According to OP yes, and he just went on playing... I don't see that in the OP. Just that she told him it's OK to play but not get addicted and to stop ignoring her. That doesn't count as telling him how she feels, IMO. And this conversation certainly shouldn't take place while he's actually playing. If you can't find a time when he's not playing then ask him to turn it off because you want to talk to him about a serious issue. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I don't see that in the OP. Just that she told him it's OK to play but not get addicted and to stop ignoring her. That doesn't count as telling him how she feels, IMO. And this conversation certainly shouldn't take place while he's actually playing. If you can't find a time when he's not playing then ask him to turn it off because you want to talk to him about a serious issue. OK I get you. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I've had women that wouldn't let me check my cell phone for 15 seconds at lunch without trying to compete with it and grab my attention. So I can't tell if this is a case of a guy playing too much or a girl who just can't leave her husband alone for an hour and let him enjoy himself without her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 (edited) Do you have some friends you could plan a/some girl's night/s out with? It may not make any difference to him whether or not you are at home if he is that wrapped up in a video game, but so long as you are there where he knows what you are doing, I doubt he is going to see any real threat of losing you. Meanwhile, you are miserable bc he can't be bother to put you higher on his priority list. Make plans with some girlfriends, go out, have a wonderful time and let him fend for himself and play games. Maybe he'll open his eyes and re-prioritize what's more important, his wife or a game. If he doesn't, then the game was, is, and will be more important than you and it may be time to move on. I've got a friend in this situation and it's only getting worse. He spends hours playing games. They have children and she doesn't want to upset the apple cart. Sadly, even the kids remark about Daddy playing games instead of doing with things with them. Edited April 7, 2015 by Methodical Link to post Share on other sites
WomenWubber Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I see his gaming has somehow taken a toll on your spelling as well. Try writing him a letter/e-mail, but please avoid using n00b speak unless you want to make fun of him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Make plans with some girlfriends, go out, have a wonderful time and let him fend for himself and play games. Maybe he'll open his eyes and re-prioritize what's more important, his wife or a game. Unlikely, he'll just see that as permission to game all night long. He'll be glad you're not there because he can play in peace. In fact it will even justify his gaming - if you're out having fun then what reason does he have not to game? In my experience this kind of passive/aggressive stance seldom works. Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Do you have some friends you could plan a/some girl's night/s out with? This is NOT what you should do first. You should tell him, don't ask, in no uncertain terms that this is bothering you and is doing harm to your marriage. He is obviously so enthralled he is not paying attention to NORMAL conversation, so up the decibels a notch. The above advice to goo ut with friends is FINE except it sounds like you are being told to put yourself into a situation where you will be playing a childs game of trying to make him jealous. The problem with that is in your current state of hurt over this you are MORE prone to do something you regret than if things were normal. Going out with friends is fine if it does NOT involved hitting a club to get hit on by men all night. Getting involved in an affair, or putting yourself in a position where it is more likely to happen, is hardly the way to solve this. The adult thing to do is tell him he is beyond reasonable with this game, and that you have had enough of it. Stop having sex with him or cooking for him. That should also get his attention. If not being intimate with him does not get his attention, he needs an shrink and tell him that. You should have interaction with your friends. Just not recommending heading to the nearest pick up joint. Link to post Share on other sites
Erised Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 And you think DomiNations is the clearly superior game? Seriously, I'd talk to him out of the house when not playing. Calmly say your problems, and ask for his point of view and how you two could come to a mutually agreeable solution. Perhaps a pronged approach. Limit the gaming time. Everyone should get 1-3 hours by themselves with their own thing each day- in a relationship or not. I use my time exercising and reading and would be bothered by someone trying to get my attention constantly during. It's harder when it's an in house activity. Can you make sure he gets this time and how to structure it so you two get together time too? If he cares he should be able to compromise on when he plays at least some days and limit the time somewhat. Can you play with him? Then you're doing it together. It will need a compromise from him and from you (he needs to not ignore you, but you should respect his gaming hobby time.) Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 The adult thing to do is tell him he is beyond reasonable with this game, and that you have had enough of it. Stop having sex with him or cooking for him. That should also get his attention. If not being intimate with him does not get his attention, he needs an shrink and tell him that. You should have interaction with your friends. Just not recommending heading to the nearest pick up joint. No where in the post did I suggest a "pick up joint." A girl's night out can be to dinner, movie, spa, etc. That is a far cry from suggesting she go off the rail and pick up someone. Right now she is harboring resentment and finding a way to vent and decompress may help her talk to him in a calm, mature manner that's not laced with ire. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 How much money is he spending on this game? Is that also an issue? One guy spends $2K a month on that particular game. In-App Purchases - Clash of Clans Wiki Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 I used to love that game lol. Easy to spend money on though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author littlemisscurious Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 well actually, to understand why he is addicted, i tried to play that game too for 2 months. n ow, i stopped playing bec i'm busy with m Link to post Share on other sites
Author littlemisscurious Posted April 7, 2015 Author Share Posted April 7, 2015 i'm busy taking care of my baby and at the same time, i'm working mon-fri (night shift). i can say that my husband is playing online game 24/7. he has his tablet under his pillow so that he could check it immediately when he wakes up. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 i'm busy taking care of my baby and at the same time, i'm working mon-fri (night shift). i can say that my husband is playing online game 24/7. he has his tablet under his pillow so that he could check it immediately when he wakes up. OK he is playing 24/7 and you have a baby and you are out working? Does he not work, and who looks after the baby whilst he is engrossed in the game? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 What do the two of you do together for fun? What activities do you both enjoy? Link to post Share on other sites
craw Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Holy ****, I just came onto this forum to anonymously post this. It was actually a post on another forum, but I know most people know me in IRL and felt this is way too personal. I f*cking hate clash of the clans, f*ck that game. My ex always played that F*cking game, it's so F*cking rude to be sitting face to face with someone you're staring at their forehead. He's playing it before bed, he plays it first thing in the morning. I'm surprised he hasn't f*cking f*cked me doggy style and played in on my back. I will never ever date a gamer again for the life of me. Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 He could just be in a phase. My dad went through close to a year of obsessive Tetris playing back when I was a kid. I won't say it didn't do some psychological damage to the rest of us, but he did eventually snap out of it and didn't touch it again. I'm not sure if it bothered my mom or if she said anything to him or what caused him to stop. I'm curious too if he helps with the baby. He could just be using to game to blow off the steam of being a new parent. Link to post Share on other sites
Interstellar Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 A while ago there's a young lady here complaining that her boyfriend can't seem to get his hands off her. He's all over her like mozzarella cheese on pizza. She can probably give you some great advice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lovelydemon Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 I would tell him that he's got a week to get his act together. And if he gets 3 strikes you are moving out and NOT coming back. Hopefully you have someone you could move in with. Unfortunately it happened to me in my first marriage, my ex would play all the time and I would feel like I was an empty space to him, it made me understand the saying that some of the loneliest people are people in a relationship. Because no one was waiting for me at home I started staying out shopping late at night , and then started spending a lot of time at the gym which eventually lead to an emotional affair with one of the regulars and then my divorce. I tried to explain to my ex what was happening but he just ignored me, I think he realized what happened only 2 months after I already moved out. I'm single now but that was the loneliest time of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 Tell him to put down the game for 10 minutes and fix your "O" key. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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