zara Posted November 5, 2004 Share Posted November 5, 2004 okay. Here's the deal, without the details. There is a man that i work with and there is a strong mutual attraction between us. After a couple of months flirting we slept together. Unfortunately, that same weekend it was confirmed to me that he is seeing someone. I have seen that someone and she fits with what he has told me about his past relationships, that he is used to seeing girls ten years younger (he and i are the same age) who are syncophants, agree with him all the time and (much to his annoyance) he has to tell them what to do because they can't make their minds up. He gets into these relationships because his job involves mixing with a lot of these young people who flirt with him because he is a big, good looking guy with power and authority. Anyway, we have seen a fair bit of each other since then and he keeps saying how refreshing it is to spend time with a woman who knows her own mind, but is still feminine and sweet and sexy. The more time i spend with him the more i can feel myself falling for him. He recently mentioned renting an apartment in my building and i am not sure i would like that. If he is the sort of guy who is going to welcome these girls falling at his feet, i just know i'll be agonizing in my apartment on the next floor imagining him bringing a different one back every night with his "of course i love you too" line and then popping round to play chess with me on a sunday! My friends think i am crazy to admit i'd be willing get into a relationship with him, "even though you know he's unfaithful?!" but i guess like most women i have the idea that "Not to me, it'll be different because i'm a woman not one of these girls." Am i being naive? Should i steer clear? Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted November 5, 2004 Share Posted November 5, 2004 I think you should go with your "gut feeling" if you honestly think he'd be willing to leave this younger women who'll probably continue to chase him alone then maybe you should go for it. Could it be possible that he was just having fun with these women until he found the right woman for him? I guess you'll never know until you give it a whirl! Link to post Share on other sites
Author zara Posted November 5, 2004 Author Share Posted November 5, 2004 he told me that his last real relationship ended in 2002 and it was in his words "a proper realtionship, house together, dog, the works". I think that when he is serious about someone he is serious and faithful, but like many people, he views these young girls as "fillers". The question is, how to make him serious about me? Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted November 5, 2004 Share Posted November 5, 2004 The question is, how to make him serious about me? There is no "one" way to make someone serious about you. Actually I don't think there is any way to make someone serious about you. They obviously have to decide to become serious because they realize you are the one they want to be with, you and you alone. BUT on how to help him realize that you would be good to him and good for him in a serious "proper" relationship, I say that you should show interest in him. But don't "fall at his feet" like these young women do (you mentioned this in the orginal post). Just continue to be yourself and if you two start dating, let him know where you stand without being naggy, bossy, or demanding (not that you are). If he feels that you two are "good" together in a relationship then things will progress from there but I don't think you should expect a "serious" relationship right away. I mean faithfulness yes but "serious" dating...well that only you two can decide. Link to post Share on other sites
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