ShiningMoon Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 There is guy I dated for a short period of time and I haven't fully been able to get over for some reason (maybe because he disappeared on me). Truth be told, he dumped me because he thought I was too "prissy" and he was looking for someone with looser morals. He went as far as sleeping with girls he met on sex websites and such. Needless to say, he was only looking for sex at the time. He disappeared on me and it took me ages to get over him. To this day, I don't think I've fully gotten over him. I still fantasize about him every day. Today, I came across a very very recent picture of him and oh boy. He gained tons of weight. For some reason, I first laughed and thought "Karma's a b*tch, isn't it?" (because he once told me he only dates skinny girls and turned down a chubby girl once). A few hours later, it hit me - I found him far more attractive then ever. What on earth? He used to look like a Hollister model. Now he looks like an man with a bit of meat on. His features have softened. I'm into athletic guys in general so I don't understand how this chubbiness of his is turning me on? Then again, he ditched me because he preferred to sleep around despite the fact that he thought I was " freaking damn hot". He's been single since he ditched me. I know it's mean, but he treated me like crap. Yet, I still have the hots for him. Why is that? Link to post Share on other sites
Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 I know it's mean, but he treated me like crap. Yet, I still have the hots for him. Why is that? Maybe because since he gained, weight a part of you now views him as more attainable; therefore more likely to settle down given that his "options" have likely dwindled now that he's not the same Hollister model type anymore. Also, he rejected you, sometimes rejection mimicks feelings of 'unrequited love' which can linger for some time - as they obviously have. Plus, seeing an old flame after a while can stir up things no matter how they currently look. Weight gain doesn't necessarily automatically shut those feelings down instantly. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 Because we all want what we can't or shouldn't have......like I really want some bacon right now 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 You think you can keep his attention now cause he's fat. I doubt the dynamic will change though if you get back together. He'll still be a jerk and you'll get the extra slap of being dumped by a fat dude. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 You fancied him like crazy because of his personality, and not just his appearance. Personality remains. I would probably be still as attracted to someone I'm into if they gained or lost weight. You like him for him. So his weight gain doesn't really matter. It might even be that now he looks different it's a novelty all over again! Question is, why are you wasting so much time and energy on a guy who isn't into you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Why does this story remind me of Rurik Jutting, the drug-crazed banker that had sex and killed hookers out in Hong Kong? He was a thin guy a few years back, now he is fat. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShiningMoon Posted November 5, 2014 Author Share Posted November 5, 2014 You fancied him like crazy because of his personality, and not just his appearance. Personality remains. I would probably be still as attracted to someone I'm into if they gained or lost weight. You like him for him. So his weight gain doesn't really matter. It might even be that now he looks different it's a novelty all over again! Question is, why are you wasting so much time and energy on a guy who isn't into you? If I had the answer to this question, I wouldn't be posting on here, would I? Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 I think we sometimes put imaginary wants/feelings/desires into old flames/Ex's - the become a focal point for something missing or something we wish - and not really who they were/are or would be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShiningMoon Posted November 5, 2014 Author Share Posted November 5, 2014 I think we sometimes put imaginary wants/feelings/desires into old flames/Ex's - the become a focal point for something missing or something we wish - and not really who they were/are or would be. Yeah. The truth is, if he didn't want me then ... I'd be deluded to think he'd want me now that he's a bit chubbier. Plus, he still remains a college drop-put who let me go because he thought I was too "uptight" (his words). To say he had told me he'd stay with me even if I were to become chubby ... LOL. What a strange coincidence. Life is full of surprises! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 This wasn't a bf or anything, but I had that sort of happen to me once. There was this band I didn't like because of their philosophy and the old album photos, seriously -- and this is coming from someone who loves glam rock, big hair, makeup ok on guys -- made this guy look like a high school cheerleader. I even like androgyny, but this one didn't work for me. Just seemed odd. Anyway, was asked to business dinner with this band. I didn't want to, because I knew I'd have to fake liking them, so I tried to beg off as I was in the middle of a move. The label wanted me to go real bad, so they had the band call me at home to pressure me into it. I made excuses, real, but still excuses. I told them I was about to "bug bomb" so I didn't take the roaches with me, etc., and the band guy said the band would come help me move if I went to dinner. It got so I was choosing dead roaches over him and I felt bad, so I went. Well, the guy who looked like the cheerleader had put on quite a bit of weight and was what you'd call chunky. Still tall, so he carried it well. He was super nice and with the extra weight he had this really intense masculinity I was loving. He was one of the nicest people and actually helped me resolve an old issue of being fearful at night. He said he lived in a big old castle-like mansion and that he finally just gave in and started leaving all the lights on so he could sleep, and then he schooled me on what kind of gun to buy. If he hadn't been married.....bang, I'd have pulled the trigger on the love gun! He had told me to stop being ashamed of my fear and just put the lights on. I started doing that and that plus getting a dog did get rid of most of my fear sleep issues over a short time. I still sleep with a light on down the hall. In his case, the weight just made him look more like the older Jim Morrison and less like a cheerleader, you know. Link to post Share on other sites
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