Dear Lady Disdain Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 (edited) He is genuinely busy...back at work after a stress related breakdown a year ago and in last year of a college course, but I get super paranoid about all our text exchanges in the meantime, it's not much fun...this weekend, I'm trying to forget it all ( most of the time! ) Short bit of background, he was going to call me the other eve, we are friends at the moment but there seems to be an attraction HIM: Sorry, going to have to skip chatting this evening - been busy up till now, and really exhausted - partly because I'm having big difficulties with someone on my healing course, and it's pretty draining. Underneath that, I'm in good spirits, though. Hope you're doing well. Talk at the weekend? Take care ME: Okay, thanks for letting me know anyway, had a feeling u were exhausted, hope things settle down soon...sure they'll work out with time, I'm doing well thanks, finding mindfulness incredibly helpful and living in the moment. Yes we can talk at the weekend, ring when u are free, take care To me, who is analysing and scrutinizing every word uttered now, it just sounds trite and dumb to me...and the sure they'll work out with time bit sounds weird. Also no spark, no chemistry in them! Can anyone advise / comment...as I haven't heard back, but not such a desperado I have resorted to the dreaded double texting! Thanks so much, lately I think I've started to suffer from paranoid personality disorder, I really do...but getting on with stuff and forgetting it now as much as I can because I don't want this to take me over and there's a danger of it, I know this looks crazy, to worry so much but this thing is triggering all my insecurities... Normally I put smiles and things in my texts but I felt disappointed...now I feel like I should have been more lighthearted about it - I am worried it comes across as demanding too, things were much easier when we were actually seeing eachother regularly before this Edited October 18, 2014 by Dear Lady Disdain Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 I could say one way or another... but peeps in general seem to say too much without emotional meaning. I write differently than most to my SM, and it shows here time to time. So when he talks to you is it noticeably different than his texts??? Being that texts are plain and simple. Usually when I am exhausted, I get quiet and short. Being here online can make me feel different, even though I am relaxing. So if he is being bothered by his work, and cannot get a break, it may show his level of stress or depletion in how he texts. I think many put too much guess work in the early stages of a relationship. If you do not want guess work, remove expectations, and replace them with questions and understanding. Once you build your relationship on that, things will be simpler, and passed issues with relationships will melt away. Your both still building trust between you, so expect time and your efforts in keeping things 50/50 between you both. Sorry I can't decipher his communication, maybe the take care at the end, seemed too short, and less to be desired. I hope such text convo is not so short on his feelings for you as that one was. Perhaps he will be clearer when he sees you. The key is do you feel he shares equally in your relationship??? If not talk through it to allow him to understand. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dear Lady Disdain Posted October 18, 2014 Author Share Posted October 18, 2014 (edited) Thanks for your reply, his texts are normally to the point and not that warm and affectionate though in person he is and he is warm on the phone but suspect he is highly insecure and I normally need to show affection first before he does... He did say hi...( my name ) and put his name after the take care, really I'm more worried about my reply than what he said But yes I could sense a bit of stress in his text...we only send texts sometimes when we need to and we never have " text convos"...we are not actually in a relationship yet but I think it's about 50/50 though I never ring him, I'd feel like a pest if I did! However I try to be affectionate, just worrying too much about all this at the moment, trying to NOT have any expectations and just relax though... I am normally more affectionate in person too...the last time we met he was very affectionate and said he'd be delighted if we went out however since he has been busy with this stuff, it all seems to have changed and he's been more distant, I guess he's sorting his life out though... Edited October 18, 2014 by Dear Lady Disdain Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 The part you are handling wrong is letting the stress from insecurity get to you. Stop analyzing every word, especially in a text, the world's worst form of communication. He is polite. He is responsive. Stop making yourself bonkers. It's very simple: If he likes you & wants to date you he knows where to find you & will take whatever steps he deems appropriate. If he's not doing that, he doesn't want to date you so stop obsessing about it. Go out & buy a pop psychology book called He's Just Not That Into You. Don't treat it as gospel but familiarize yourself with some of its concepts. Link to post Share on other sites
most_distant_galaxy Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 It;s just texting! Your text seems nice and considerate, I don't see where the problem is. Relax Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dear Lady Disdain Posted October 18, 2014 Author Share Posted October 18, 2014 Hi Donnovain, thanks you're right I could make myself crazy like this... And thank u too Most_Distant_Galaxy Thanks for your reassurances X X 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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