How do I stop talking to my "perfect" girl?

[Pacman]

Long story short:

 

I really like this girl and she likes me. We text every night and talk on the phone for about a month. We have a LOT in common, shes the nerdy girl I've always wanted and physically she's my ideal girl.

 

Problem is she lives far away.

 

Whilst thinking about it. I realize this relationship is doomed to fail. She's very pretty and has a bunch of guys amongst her fingertips. At any day she can find someone new and closer. I don't want to invest in something when she lives far away. My question is here, Do I

 

1) Just stop talking to her and go no contact

 

2) Explain to her that I really like her but I don't see this going anywhere. The longer I stay in it the more I will hurt when she eventually tells me she found someone new. Do I tell her that I realized I REALLY liked her when I turned down sex with a girl from the club because I knew it would hurt her. Do I explain to her that after 5 years of one night stands and wanting to be single, she made me want to start a relationship. If she were closer I would have made her my girlfriend by now and that I small glimpse of marriage even entered my mind (never has in 5 years)

 

What would be the best way to go about it?

[Mister Zen]

Why don't you ask her where SHE stands on this matter? Tell her you are concerned about the distance and ask her what her expectations are for the future.

 

All that matters is the interest level of the person who is least interested. Is that you or her? Who is LEAST interested? Find out.

 

You see... if a woman isn't that into you.. it doesn't matter how much you like her or how you feel or anything else. It won't change her position.

[Pacman]

Why don't you ask her where SHE stands on this matter? Tell her you are concerned about the distance and ask her what her expectations are for the future.

 

All that matters is the interest level of the person who is least interested. Is that you or her? Who is LEAST interested? Find out.

 

You see... if a woman isn't that into you.. it doesn't matter how much you like her or how you feel or anything else. It won't change her position.

 

Because everytime I've been opened about my feelings to a girl I wasn't official yet it's backfired.

 

But I think she found another guy anyways. She hasn't been responding to my texts or sending me good morning snaps.

 

Kinda crushed

[Mister Zen]

Because everytime I've been opened about my feelings to a girl I wasn't official yet it's backfired.

 

But I think she found another guy anyways. She hasn't been responding to my texts or sending me good morning snaps.

 

Kinda crushed

 

I'm not surprised by this at all.

 

Women are very fickle these days and generally don't like relationships where they have to work too hard.

 

And if all you're doing is talking on the phone and you're not around to buy her stuff, take her places, etc. then her feelings will fade fast. Unless you send an envelope of cash to her every few weeks. Then she'll never stop talking to you. But she won't stop talking to other men either.

[todreaminblue]

tell her how you feel be honest and open and hopefully she will too..it really is that simple........talk to her about where and what you see in regards to a future with her....if you see the same thing its going to save a lot of angst....if she doesnt see the same thing you do or feel for you the way you feel for her....its going to save you time and effort ...give it your best shot......good luck....deb

[Pacman]

I'm not surprised by this at all.

 

Women are very fickle these days and generally don't like relationships where they have to work too hard.

 

And if all you're doing is talking on the phone and you're not around to buy her stuff, take her places, etc. then her feelings will fade fast. Unless you send an envelope of cash to her every few weeks. Then she'll never stop talking to you. But she won't stop talking to other men either.

 

I know. I just thought she'd be different.

 

Fool me once...

 

tell her how you feel be honest and open and hopefully she will too..it really is that simple........talk to her about where and what you see in regards to a future with her....if you see the same thing its going to save a lot of angst....if she doesnt see the same thing you do or feel for you the way you feel for her....its going to save you time and effort ...give it your best shot......good luck....deb

 

That's the only thing. Every time I have been open and honest with a girl I'm not officially dating, for some reason they get turned off. Like the chase is over or something. We'll get a little closer for like a week then the cold shoulder

 

When I act like I don't care, then by all means they are here to stay. Which sucks for me because personally I'm done with the whole one night stand and meaningless sex.

 

I sort of want to get to know a person both physically and mentally. After 3 - 4 years of casual dating, tinder and meaningless hookups/ONS, I thought that this girl would be special and not your typical 20th century girl. I even cut off contact with all the other women I was talking to. And I turned down sex with a hotty because I didn't want to her my girls feelings...yet we weren't official

 

But alas.

 

The jokes on me. Where are the quality women hanging nowadays?

[PinkInTheLimo]

I'm not surprised by this at all.

 

Women are very fickle these days and generally don't like relationships where they have to work too hard.

 

I think that HE is actually the fickle one. He says he likes her very much yet he does not tell her and keeps coming up with the fact that she lives too far away.

 

It's all one big self fulfilling prophecy. He does not want to tell her about his feelings because he presumes she will find another guy. Guess what? If he does not come forward she will get the impression he is not interested and of course end up with a guy who does actually show he is interested.

 

Just tell her about your feelings. Take a risk. I would personally always appreciate the honesty, even if I could not reciprocate the feelings.

[Mister Zen]

I think that HE is actually the fickle one. He says he likes her very much yet he does not tell her and keeps coming up with the fact that she lives too far away.

 

It's all one big self fulfilling prophecy. He does not want to tell her about his feelings because he presumes she will find another guy. Guess what? If he does not come forward she will get the impression he is not interested and of course end up with a guy who does actually show he is interested.

 

Just tell her about your feelings. Take a risk. I would personally always appreciate the honesty, even if I could not reciprocate the feelings.

 

Why can't she tell him about her feelings?

[Phoe]

And if all you're doing is talking on the phone and you're not around to buy her stuff, take her places, etc. then her feelings will fade fast. Unless you send an envelope of cash to her every few weeks. Then she'll never stop talking to you. But she won't stop talking to other men either.

 

Wow. I feel bad for you. I don't know what kind of awful luck you have to have met women like this, to make you think this is the way women are, but that's very unfortunate. I don't know any women who behave this way.

 

OP it kinda sounds like you're shooting yourself in the foot. Cutting her off and sabotaging it before it even has a chance to get off the ground.

[Mister Zen]

Wow. I feel bad for you. I don't know what kind of awful luck you have to have met women like this, to make you think this is the way women are, but that's very unfortunate. I don't know any women who behave this way.

 

OP it kinda sounds like you're shooting yourself in the foot. Cutting her off and sabotaging it before it even has a chance to get off the ground.

 

Feeling "bad for me" isn't really an argument if you're trying to make one. You can say that you don't know any women like this.. but what does that really mean? How many women do you know compared to the general population? Also, how many women have you dated compared to most men?

 

I speak the truth. It has nothing to do with "awful luck". But thanks for caring.

[Phoe]

Feeling "bad for me" isn't really an argument if you're trying to make one. You can say that you don't know any women like this.. but what does that really mean? How many women do you know compared to the general population? Also, how many women have you dated compared to most men?

 

I speak the truth. It has nothing to do with "awful luck". But thanks for caring.

 

It's not an argument. Just stating how I feel. No need to get sassy.

[Mister Zen]

It's not an argument. Just stating how I feel. No need to get sassy.

 

Your "feelings" are based on lies though.

[preraph]

I think you tell her you don't see it going anywhere only because of the distance and with deep regret, you must move on. But if she ever wants to move to _______....

[Pacman]

Why can't she tell him about her feelings?

 

Wow. I feel bad for you. I don't know what kind of awful luck you have to have met women like this, to make you think this is the way women are, but that's very unfortunate. I don't know any women who behave this way.

 

OP it kinda sounds like you're shooting yourself in the foot. Cutting her off and sabotaging it before it even has a chance to get off the ground.

 

I might just be too much of a wuss to let her know how I really feel. A part of me really thinks she may be messing with me for attention. It could be my insecurity

 

but

 

Earlier today she was sending me naughty pics via snapchat. But she was also sending other guys snaps...what the snaps were I wouldn't really know for sure but I can only assume.

 

She has every right to because we're not official hence why I may have doubts on if she really likes me

 

What should I do?

[Cristo]

LOL OP, you sound like me not so long ago.

 

It sounds like you may need to screen women better and get to know them in a less emotional way before investing so much into them.

 

I suggest you just tell her your feelings and then go turkey. Assume she will not come back to you. If she does, awesome, but don't get your hopes up.

 

Meet new girls. Before you know it, you'll forget all about this one.

[Mister Zen]

I might just be too much of a wuss to let her know how I really feel. A part of me really thinks she may be messing with me for attention. It could be my insecurity

 

but

 

Earlier today she was sending me naughty pics via snapchat. But she was also sending other guys snaps...what the snaps were I wouldn't really know for sure but I can only assume.

 

She has every right to because we're not official hence why I may have doubts on if she really likes me

 

What should I do?

 

Look at it from a time perspective. The more time you waste barking up the wrong tree.. the more OTHER women you are missing out on who might actually be interested in you.

 

Tell her where you stand so you can know the truth and get on with life. There is a lot of power in knowing where you stand.

[Pacman]

LOL OP, you sound like me not so long ago.

 

It sounds like you may need to screen women better and get to know them in a less emotional way before investing so much into them.

 

I suggest you just tell her your feelings and then go turkey. Assume she will not come back to you. If she does, awesome, but don't get your hopes up.

 

Meet new girls. Before you know it, you'll forget all about this one.

 

That's what I've been doing lol. I was talking to 3 girls, then I met her. I thought that she was special so I stopped talking to the other 3. Even though we weren't official, I turned down sex with other women... which doesn't really bother me since it's just sex.

 

She's moving to CO which is 500+ miles away from me.

 

Look at it from a time perspective. The more time you waste barking up the wrong tree.. the more OTHER women you are missing out on who might actually be interested in you.

 

Tell her where you stand so you can know the truth and get on with life. There is a lot of power in knowing where you stand.

 

Alright. I'll think of a way to tell her.

 

I'll post it here in a bit and let me know what you guys think

[Cristo]

That's what I've been doing lol. I was talking to 3 girls, then I met her. I thought that she was special so I stopped talking to the other 3. Even though we weren't official, I turned down sex with other women... which doesn't really bother me since it's just sex.

 

She's moving to CO which is 500+ miles away from me.

 

What about her made you think that she was special?