Mary Oak Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 I have read so many threads here. It seems like a lot of people fall in love in 5 or 6 months or even quicker. SOmetimes in 2-3 months and a lot of those cases are long distance. Is this the case for most people? I feel I get the endorphin rush, and the excitement, etc., but I feel it takes me much longer to fall in love. To fall in love is a very special thing to me. Yet, it seems people fall so quickly and so often. I feel if I can find love a few times in life that is a lot. Am I doing something wrong? Am my way of thinking abnormal? I see so many people be heart broken over a few months of knowing someone. I feel i don't even know someone well enough to be heartbroken at that point? Link to post Share on other sites
Jules Dash Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 This is highly subjective. You would swear some people fall in love after one date if you read enough posts here. Link to post Share on other sites
Giggle Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 My bff is currently miffed with me because I love a guy states away. It is never going to be anything, his life is there and mine is here. But he's pretty awesome, one of the most accepting of everything me. She doesn't figure I should have let that happen, but I'm a very open person. Opening myself up to that heartache seems insane to her, but love is an awesome thing. There is no right or wrong and many will be simply infatuated in an early time frame. Maybe you just take longer to call it love. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Love, lust, infatuation, etc are to me different degrees on a sliding scale. I think it's easy to fall in lust, fun to be infatuated (that's really what all those tingly butterflies & lack of sleep are) but it take some time to fall deeply in love. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
RonaldS Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 This is highly subjective. You would swear some people fall in love after one date if you read enough posts here. In the case of OLD, some people here fall in love before the one date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary Oak Posted September 12, 2014 Author Share Posted September 12, 2014 I get that fact that many of these people may not be in love, it may just be the term that are using for it. What I don't get is the amount of heartbreak they feel for such a small commitment of time. I feel bad for these people in a way because it seems like everyone they date for a few months are "the one", "the one special connection" different from everyone else. ... Until the next "one". That seems like the receipe for a lot of heartache. But on the other hand, I have been in love once in 44 years. I hope to find it again, but I don't feel such strong connections grow between a lot of people, not romantic connections anyway. If I find someone I can related with, love and grow with again, I would be grateful. I just don't think those true connections can be built over phone, text, etc. I guess I am old school and it is a generational thing, lol 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 With the deepest loves in my life, it took about 3 months; for the "lesser" one, maybe 6 months. 4 times in 40 years, not counting a couple of crushes each decade. I feel like I've already had the last great love of my life. She'll be home soon, so I've got to go. Link to post Share on other sites
Xiang Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 This topic has got me thinking. I have been hung over my ex for over a year, i didn't get to know her much. But what i felt and would do for her... Idk what to call it since it was the first time i ever felt MORE for someone, i had tried before with other girls but nothing. Maybe it was just infatuation...but wouldn't i of gotten over it? What is love anyway? I for one, don't know. Or i don't think i can tell the difference. If i am to solely base this in my singular experience of "love". Took me 2 month's to know, then 1-2 more to fall completely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary Oak Posted September 12, 2014 Author Share Posted September 12, 2014 I must be move a little slower with my feelings. I feel like after six months or so, I am just getting to know you. You can't break my heart in six months. I will definitely miss you, but my heart won't be broken. I feel like I want to slowly fall in love with someone, if I fall in live with you, I want it to be for the long haul. It is a marathon, not a race, for me. Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 My wife falls "in love" easily with men, although she could claim different types of love, vs "twisted gut love" for a limited few men. When we met she started telling me that she loved me with in a month or two. Although some "feelings/rush" was there with me - I refused to say it for 5-6 months until my brain/soul could latch on to some reason to love her, if this makes sense. I guess what I am saying is people have different ideas what it means to love someone, mine tends to be pretty high and needs more than that high/infatuation feeling I have gotten at times. I find lots of people throw the term around too easily - its not a feeling - at least not in the long run - IMHO. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Xiang Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 I am all about taking it slow and getting to know someone. I don't endorse such rash behaviors as gettin married after a few months to just 1 year of knowing another person. Probably take me 4 to 5 to be SURE. But as far as loves goes, you just feel it :\ i guess it depends from person to person. Could take as little as a few weeks and be like that forever to months. Perhaps you just really get attached slower out of fear of being hurt? idk. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Most of that is just horniness....But people,(esp women) want to belive in Fairy Tale stuff.. "Real" love is about as rare as hen's teeth....Just ask a divorce lawyer.. TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGypsy Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Love at first sight? Sure, why not. I fell in love with my children right away. Even though I didn't know them at all. And that love only grows. I believe it can happen for anyone. Some people you just love right away. There are many kinds of love. Sometimes it's lightning quick. Sometimes, it sneaks up on you. It's unique. I think love stories are like snowflakes . 3 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 i believe anything is possible.....nothing is impossible and there are many many stories of love at first sight lasting.....as there are many stories of it not lasting.....anything is possible. for me personally a deep and lasting love is built and created over time...the spark that starts it......could happen on a first meet and greet..so if that was the case ...is it love at first sight......to me it is....a lasting love built from something....at first sight....then there are loves that start out with total revulsion....a love hate relationship....that turns into enduring love....whose to know....love is an anomaly for sure........deb Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 That one guy I so far fell in love with, I was infatuated with on first sight. Within a week those feelings were much more; and we hadn't even said a word or directly looked at each other! Then another nice guy from an online game; in chat and talk we clicked real good. A shame the game was shut down and all contact lost, he was from a neighbour country... Well, it can go pretty damn fast. Too bad the fast falling in love is rarely mutual. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 A minute????? TFY Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Love at first sight. It happened to me. Like MO. it generally takes me some time to get to know the other person. In my college days, I dated several girls, but none made time stand still. Same thing in my early 20's, we would date a few times, and one of us would move on. No tears, sometimes a little sadness. At age 26 I got into a serious relationship with a nurse, we dated for well over a year. But there was one nagging problem, she was head nurse on the night shift of the cancer wing. When she came home she naturally wanted to talk work and it was always about sick and dying people. I was still young yet and did not want to hear about this every night and it began to bother me. I then began to wonder what was wrong with me, why couldn't I find that special some one to fall in love with. Then one night, I met her she was working the in local sporting goods store. There was just something about being in her presence that stirred my soul. Before I even saw her face I knew I wanted her. And then that face, that smile, and the nurse was history. Alas, she did not feel this same about me. Now in most cases I might ask a girl out once or twice, and if she said no, move on. But in her case, I refused to give up, over the next 10 weeks she must have said no thank you at least half a dozen times. She already had a boy friend, in fact two of them. But by chance, one day I asked her is she wanted to go fishing with me. That was something she had always wanted to try. On the way out to the river, she again reminded me that this was not a date, that we would never be boy friend and girl friend. I did everything right that day. The next day I was shocked to find her knocking on my door, she had ditched her two boy friends, and she was mine. She was everything I had ever wanted in a women, slightly athletic, she could back pack with me, she loved fishing, hiking, and a little over a year later we were engaged 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Giggle Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 It is funny how different people hit you differently. Some people it takes time and they grow on you, and others you just click. Some people you feel like you've known forever, and you instantly feel comfortable with them and can be yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 "What is love"? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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