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Do Men Get Sexually Harassed By Women?


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Can men really be victims of sexual harassment? It would seem as though most people don't believe they can be. It seems like it would be hard for anyone to take a man seriously if he tries to report a female coworker or just any female in general for sexual harassment.

 

Why is this the case that men aren't taken as seriously as women are if they claim to be victims of sexual harassment? There has to be more to the reason than the idea that men should be grateful for whatever sexual attention they get from women since it is harder for men to get that kind of attention for women. After-all how many guys would give anything to be in that man's position who is legitimately being sexually harassed?

 

If a man tries to call the cops they would laugh at his sexual harassment claim. Also is it true that only good looking men with high status in society can be victims of sexual harassment?

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GorillaTheater

It happens, but in my experience the ratio is probably something like 50-1. Maybe 100-1.

 

And yes, I've seen a female supervisor fired for it.

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Maybe it is only that low because it goes under reported and men are reluctant to come forward for fear that no one will take them seriously. So perhaps the ratio is really higher.

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GorillaTheater
Maybe it is only that low because it goes under reported and men are reluctant to come forward for fear that no one will take them seriously. So perhaps the ratio is really higher.

 

My honest, though probably unpopular, take is that men GENERALLY don't mind as much. They typically don't feel as threatened as a woman might in the same situation.

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littleplanet

The rare times in my life that I've experienced something like this......

I could just deal with.

I think there's a big difference.

In my experience......a huge factor was that there was no threat.

No sense of danger. Even from physical boundaries being crossed.

 

Whether in the workplace, or in private life....most men find it easier to not have to grin and bear it, or try to be nice, pleasant, subservient - or whatever else it is that due to conditioning, prevent some women from being more self-assertive.

 

And for me personally - I never found myself thinking I got lucky.

Aggressiveness in women has always been a huge turn-off, for me.

As well as passive submissiveness.

 

But when it comes down to conditioning:

I guess I just never thought I'd need some authority to protect me from it. I would, of course, fight my own battles.

Which stands me directly outside the whole 'victim' construct.

 

I recall one time, as a young cab driver - being literally assaulted by a very drunk older woman.....it was hilarious. And it was sad and pathetic.

At no time did I feel threatened and anxious.

I just felt frustrated.....because I wanted to get her home safe (It was late at night) but there it is.....the difference is that there is no sense of threat to personal safety. It's just embarrassing, really.

 

For many women, a situation like that would be completely different.

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thefooloftheyear

Ive had women say some pretty salty things to me...Ive also had body parts grabbed without prior consent...I am seeing this more common..Especially as they get older...If Id said half of the things to them that they did, Id get a Order of Protection slapped on me-at the very least..

 

Who cares?

 

No matter what feminism or womens rights have done for women, the reality still exists that a man can in most cases physically overpower a woman, so its generally going to be looked at with more scrutiny if a guy does it...

 

Take a look at this video...Now just imagine if a guy like Steve Harvey or some other male game show host did this type of stuff to a woman...No one would be laughing, thats for sure...

 

 

 

meh...its just "one of those things"....*shrug*

 

TFY

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leavesonautumn
My honest, though probably unpopular, take is that men GENERALLY don't mind as much. They typically don't feel as threatened as a woman might in the same situation.

 

I'm going to agree with this and add the point that they probably would feel ashamed or emabrassed, just like a woman. Imagine the very unlikely scenario of a guy going to his buddies and opening up about this situation, they'd probably tease him.

 

When a woman does it to a man it's "funny" and he won't be taken seriously. It does happen, it's just not being reported and the circumstances are viewed differently.

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I was sexually harassed on a daily basis at.my old job. I just let it go because of didn't really bother me that Much.

 

 

 

She as freshly 18, absolutely stunning. Probably one of the top 3 most beautiful women I've ever seen. She was very, very immature. Especially considering the work environment

 

 

She would always be extremely sexual with me.sexual jokes. Conversations. Gestures. Stories. Showing me pictures.

 

 

She would also touch me in a way that would never be appropriate for anyone. She would sneak up behind me and put her hands on my ribcage to try and scare me.

 

 

 

Like I said, this qualified as harassment, but I didn't really care enough to so anything about it.

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If men don't complain, more fool them. It's akin to domestic violence: men used to be wary of coming forward because they feared nobody would ever believe them, and would ridicule them for being 'feeble'.

A female friend of mine in the UK was a School Council-appointed Governor. When a new young male teacher joined the school, she spoke and acted with him in precisely the way she did with anyone else. He, being unaccustomed to her manner and ways, filed a harassment report against her, three weeks after joining the school. His complaint received the respect and consideration it deserved, and she was spoken to by the Head of Governors, and the Headmaster of the school. After that, she made sure that she engaged with the young man in a far more formal and detached way. It wasn't 'her' and she found it difficult, and he got that, after a few months, and apologised to her. She advised him no apology was necessary at all. he felt threatened and did the right thing.

If men don't speak up, women will continue to get away with it. And that is a double-standard I personally deplore.

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ChamomileWind

Well I did once groped a guy when I was in middle school; I was then 12 and he 14. What I did was simply grabbed his butt and lightly slapped it. Then got back to my seat and laughed. I had a crush on him and thought it was funny.

 

However, some guys don't like that either. He didn't and was about to inform our then arts teacher but decided not to on the last minute. A couple classmates saw it but said nothing. I have to say, I do agree this indeed is a double standard because had a guy done what I did, in my time he would've probably been suspended at most or have a very serious parent conference. Today, he would actually be expelled and have sexual harrassment charges against him. Needlessly to say, it would have caused a great commotion.

 

I believe the reasons neither boys nor men report anything like this, is because they probably feel embarrassed about it and how they're going to be the laughing stock. I guess in a way, it's a stigma to them; something very hard for them to admit and like in my example, if others see it, they won't inform it either.

 

And well like someone else mentioned, guys in general don't have to face the feeling of being physically threatened like we do.

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Sexual harassment is a civil matter; in concerns employment or housing. The police have nothing to do with it. They deal with sexual assaults.

 

Of course men can be sexually harassed, just like men can be raped. Unfortunately, it's one of those things that society is still evolving with. The stereotype says it can't or doesn't happen but the reality proves otherwise.

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There's also the stereotype that all men want sexual attention and contact and that there has to be something mentally wrong with a man if he doesn't welcome sexual advances from a woman.

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Of course men can be sexually harassed.

 

As TFOTY said though, in most cases men can still easily overpower women. This adds an element of threat to harassment that doesn't usually exist for men, unless the woman is in a position of power over him (his supervisor at work for example.)

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I was sexually harassed on a daily basis at.my old job. I just let it go because of didn't really bother me that Much.

 

 

 

She as freshly 18, absolutely stunning. Probably one of the top 3 most beautiful women I've ever seen. She was very, very immature. Especially considering the work environment

 

 

She would always be extremely sexual with me.sexual jokes. Conversations. Gestures. Stories. Showing me pictures.

 

 

She would also touch me in a way that would never be appropriate for anyone. She would sneak up behind me and put her hands on my ribcage to try and scare me.

 

 

 

Like I said, this qualified as harassment, but I didn't really care enough to so anything about it.

 

 

By not reporting it then you just have her the illusion that what she is doing is okay and believe me it is only a matter of time before she does it to other men and she thinks she can get away with it.

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Can men really be victims of sexual harassment?

 

Apparently, yes.

 

What's interesting to me is that, although the percentages of cases filed by men has risen, from 11.6% to 16.3%, the total number of cases filed has dropped, from ~15K to ~11K, in the period from 1997 to 2011.

 

Perhaps the relevant statutes are having an effect, both overall and relevant to the numbers of males reporting.

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I do agree that cases with male victims probably aren't reported as much as they should be, keep in mind that it's only been in more recent decades that workplace harassment was being taken seriously at all. Both genders are benefiting from the improved change in attitudes about workplace harassment; the more that society views sexual harassers as engaging in unethical and potentially illegal behavior, the more that harassers of both genders will be held accountable for their actions.

 

While some men have experienced harassment that they didn't feel threatened by and may have been able to shrug off, that doesn't legitimize the harassment nor that other victims of the harasser will react the same way. It's also a concern that an ongoing, condoned or overlooked culture of harassment at a job can lead to further abuses and victims, such as the incidents detailed in Oncale v. Sundowner Offshore Services (this was a pretty horrible case that included a sexual assault with an object). Victims of both genders fail to report the behavior due to fearing that they won't be believed or would be ridiculed or retaliated against for being upset about the harassment.

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It happens, but in my experience the ratio is probably something like 50-1. Maybe 100-1.

 

And yes, I've seen a female supervisor fired for it.

 

Yep.

 

The very people who think that women can't sexually harass men are the ones who think a woman can't abuse a man--even if she gives him a black eye.

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I was once groped by a woman who thought I was her husband, I just said 'that's okay' when she saw she made a mistake and apologized.. it really was okay :laugh:

 

I know it happens.. this is a bit of a twist but we have had a couple of men workers here sexually harassed years ago by a gay worker who would make sexual innuendo and comments like 'ummm good' when they would walk by.

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thefooloftheyear

Bottom line is that if a guy is getting off by the attention, then dont complain,,,

 

If it really bothers you, I find it VERY hard to believe that a stern, in her face order to leave you the fck alone is going to be ignored, or cause her to stalk you, like some creepy guys do...Just cant see that happening...

 

TFY

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I was sexually harassed on a daily basis at.my old job. I just let it go because of didn't really bother me that Much.

 

 

 

She as freshly 18, absolutely stunning. Probably one of the top 3 most beautiful women I've ever seen. She was very, very immature. Especially considering the work environment

 

 

She would always be extremely sexual with me.sexual jokes. Conversations. Gestures. Stories. Showing me pictures.

 

 

She would also touch me in a way that would never be appropriate for anyone. She would sneak up behind me and put her hands on my ribcage to try and scare me.

 

 

 

Like I said, this qualified as harassment, but I didn't really care enough to so anything about it.

 

 

For what it is worth I was molested by a female classmate in 3rd grade and I was only 8 years old. I suspect that more than likely she was molested by someone else and that's why she did what she did to me. At such a young age I did not understand what was going on and knew nothing at the time about sexual feelings. Did it scar me psychologically? Probably not but she did touch me without my consent.

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Yeah, men can definitely be sexually harassed.

 

I think it's definitely important that men be straightforward when they are uncomfortable with a situation.

 

While I have never sexually harassed anyone, there was a man that I used to flirt with a bit. It was very innocent friendly flirting, nothing sexual, but given that I am not a flirty person, it was still a bold move on my part. After a few days he finally decided he was fed up with my flirting and he kinda snapped and shouted at me that he wanted me to leave him alone. While I think it was rude that he snapped at me, and it did sting, at least he was direct with me in letting me know that he did not like me flirting with him, and I never did it again. I left him alone after that.

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This is one reason why it's good to be an average looking man. I honestly feel sorry for people (men and women) who are highly attractive. It always seems to be a curse, not a blessing.

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Smilecharmer

I have read about cases online and when my husband worked in another state he said one of his coworkers (a woman) was fired for sexually harassing two of her subordinates. She apparently taped them peeing and also told them she would give them promotions if they would "perform." Yikes. Terrible woman apparently. My husband said she preyed on shy, awkward men who didn't stand up for themselves so she preyed on timid men. My husband said she left him alone and was quite timid around him. She must have done it for the power it made her feel over these more timid men. Glad she was fired. It was sad for those men though because other men they worked with acted like they were wimps because they didn't take up for themselves. I don't think there should be a double standard at all.

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I have read about cases online and when my husband worked in another state he said one of his coworkers (a woman) was fired for sexually harassing two of her subordinates. She apparently taped them peeing and also told them she would give them promotions if they would "perform." Yikes. Terrible woman apparently. My husband said she preyed on shy, awkward men who didn't stand up for themselves so she preyed on timid men. My husband said she left him alone and was quite timid around him. She must have done it for the power it made her feel over these more timid men. Glad she was fired. It was sad for those men though because other men they worked with acted like they were wimps because they didn't take up for themselves. I don't think there should be a double standard at all.

 

 

Glad she was dealt with appropriately.

 

Sadly, then there's a sort of a DOUBLE double standard, where women seem to not be taken seriously anymore when they accuse a man of harassment, thanks to the women who cry wolf when a man merely smiles at them.

 

I was physically harassed at work once. A superior grabbed my breast. I immediately went to management and called HR. I got a lot of "Are you sure it wasn't an accident?" "Were you giving him positive encouragement?" WOW.

 

Now I don't get asked on dates often, so it is rare that I turn a man down. I have only ever done so twice. He was one of those cases. He asked me out very crudely. I said no. He continued to ask. I continued to say no. I often got very disgruntled with him and he wouldn't leave me alone. This went on for months. Finally the physical harassment happened.

 

I was just stunned that HR suggested it was either an accident or I had been encouraging his MONTHS of inappropriate behavior.

 

Nothing happened. He continued to work there and I went to work feeling nauseous and scared every day. Awful.

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