AnneT1985 Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 Hi y'all! I have a question I am hoping to get some reflections on. I have a very helpful MIL but there are some major boundary crossings in my opinion, especially pertaining to my child and parenting. If I tell my child it's time for bed she will say "no it's not", and one time my child was having a temper tantrum and I firmly yet kindly said "that's enough sweetheart", and in front of my child and others she loudly said "he JUST woke up!" She will tell my husband and I what to do, how to do it, what we should be doing, what we're not doing and getting into our faces and physical space and I've had it up to here to be honest. My husband will not say anything to her or place a boundary and I feel like saying "Sorry but you aren't the parent here". What would y'all do or say in this situation? Would you have a frank discussion about boundaries with her regardless of your husband's lack of doing so? How would you approach this? Thanks so much y'all! xx Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 As annoying as it is, I would enforce appropriate boundaries without having a direct confrontation. The one thing you don't want to do is start an all out mother-in-law war. For example, if you tell your child it's bedtime and she says "no it's not," just ignore her and proceed with your child to the bedroom as if she hadn't said anything. If she tries to tell you not to do something, don't acknowledge her and do it anyway. Don't transmit any attitude, just pretend you didn't hear her. A reasonable person will understand that their input is unwelcome and cease with the interference. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 My house my child my rules. I've done it and actually got respect telling them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 Why is your MIL always at your house? Stop inviting her. Tell her you are busy, have plans, are going out, etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AnneT1985 Posted July 5, 2014 Author Share Posted July 5, 2014 Thanks so much y'all! I really appreciate it. It's also not just at my house but anywhere else too when we see her Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 I'd try to address it with my husband yet again. You can be firmer with him and more frank with him than you can with her. I strongly believe that the spouse whose parent it is should be the primary one to address any issues first and then you can second it. So tell him how much it bothers you and ask him to talk to her about it, without making it seem like it is passive aggressively coming from you. I agree that you can simply ignore her input and proceed with disciplining your child or telling him what he needs to do. You could also gently bring it up to her over lunch or something. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts