Girls intentions and making it a relationship...???

[Stay_Gold]

I have a major problem:

 

I can NEVER seem to find the right "timing" with women to make it turn into a meaningful long term relationship.

 

Its either:

 

1. I move too FAST and therefore come off as "Clingy" and she breaks it off.

 

OR...

 

2. I move too SLOW and she loses interest in me and ends up with another guy.

 

Its never in the middle/grey area. Its always one or the other.

 

Obviously...I am not reading the right signals or am interpreting them wrong. I might also be sending the wrong signals so I am in the process of evaluating my dating game right now.

 

1. Does it depend on the type of women it is...???

 

2. What could I be doing wrong...???

 

3. What should I be doing...???

 

4. How do I move at the right pace that will win her heart...???

 

Thanks.

[oldshirt]

I have a major problem:

 

I can NEVER seem to find the right "timing" with women to make it turn into a meaningful long term relationship.

 

Its either:

 

1. I move too FAST and therefore come off as "Clingy" and she breaks it off.

 

OR...

 

2. I move too SLOW and she loses interest in me and ends up with another guy.

 

Its never in the middle/grey area. Its always one or the other.

 

 

 

 

That's because you are trying to adjust yourself to them. Stop doing that. Do what comes natural to you at your pace and by your standards and objectives. That will make the one that's right for you rise to the top and filter out all the rest.

 

 

Obviously...I am not reading the right signals or am interpreting them wrong. I might also be sending the wrong signals so I am in the process of evaluating my dating game right now.

 

 

You are trying to send 'signals' that you think they want to hear. stop evaluating your dating game and start following your own heart and your own passions.

Sure take a look in the mirror before you go out and make sure you don't have any buggers hanging out your nose or any earhairs growing out your ears and make sure you are as sharp and presentable as possible and that you are treating people with common courtesy and manners but try to be your natural self and the one(s) that are meant for you will appreciate it and the others will eliminate themselves.

 

 

1. Does it depend on the type of women it is...???

 

 

It depends on what individual it is. there is no 'type.'

 

2. What could I be doing wrong...???

 

 

 

you are trying to adjust yourself to appease others. you are trying to be a chameleon to match yourself to someone else rather than being yourself and allowing the right one to match onto you.

3. What should I be doing...???

 

 

 

Pursuing your own interests and passions at your own pace that's natural and comfortable for you.

 

4. How do I move at the right pace that will win her heart...???

 

 

Think of it like hiking along a long path. You move at YOUR natural pace and some will fall behind you and some will move on ahead of you and leave you behind. The ones that share you pace will be the ones that make that journey with you.

Thanks.

 

 

 

Stop trying to adapt yourself to other people's preferences.

[JourneyLady]

I have a major problem:

 

I can NEVER seem to find the right "timing" with women to make it turn into a meaningful long term relationship.

 

Its either:

 

1. I move too FAST and therefore come off as "Clingy" and she breaks it off.

 

OR...

 

2. I move too SLOW and she loses interest in me and ends up with another guy.

 

Its never in the middle/grey area. Its always one or the other.

 

Obviously...I am not reading the right signals or am interpreting them wrong. I might also be sending the wrong signals so I am in the process of evaluating my dating game right now.

 

1. Does it depend on the type of women it is...???

 

2. What could I be doing wrong...???

 

3. What should I be doing...???

 

4. How do I move at the right pace that will win her heart...???

 

Thanks.

 

The right pace is the one that blends the desires of your heart with the pace she is ready for...

 

I just let a guy go because it was two weeks since he'd asked me out and he'd stopped talking much or emailing. All I had gotten in the week prior was a couple of short texts (and those were answering mine). I'm in my late 50's so it's not like I want to take an entire year to know if I want to be someone's gf!

 

So be yourself but make it clear that you still have an interest in the person and don't drop the ball like that guy did... I had mentioned to him how he was disappearing, and he said he'd explain -- but four days later he still hadn't given me a reason. I felt like I was probably on hold while he was getting to ask someone else out.

 

When I told him I let go because of lack of communication, he insulted me implying I had no life... I'm not sure I'd ever give him a second chance with that kind of reaction... So... if a woman does blow you off and you like her and might want to revisit in the future, be sure you don't leave her behind remembering insults. (We know it hurts. Just don't burn bridges!)