Dating and College Degrees

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

I was talking to a guy from OLD who is an attorney. I told him how I have no college degree. I went to a vocational school for an Esthetician license instead. College was never my thing and probably never will be.

 

Anyways, he said that he prefers dating someone with a college degree, but it's not a deal breaker. And I asked him why he prefers that over someone without a degree and how it would affect their relationship. Both my parents didn't have a degree and made well over a million a year. There are people I know who have degrees, owe a ton of money and can't find a job.

 

He told me it wasn't about success, but experience. He said I would never be able to relate to him and how much work he put into becoming an attorney.

 

He then said education doesn't equal intelligence. So what's his point?

 

What do you think? Does having a degree make you more valuable in the dating world?

 

I can be just as successful as someone with a degree as they can be just as unsuccessful as someone without a degree.

 

What's all this hype about going to college these days? All you do is owe money and end up not being able to find a job that you studied for. Most of the time.

 

What do you all think?

[Silver93]

I was talking to a guy from OLD who is an attorney. I told him how I have no college degree. I went to a vocational school for an Esthetician license instead. College was never my thing and probably never will be.

 

Anyways, he said that he prefers dating someone with a college degree, but it's not a deal breaker. And I asked him why he prefers that over someone without a degree and how it would affect their relationship. Both my parents didn't have a degree and made well over a million a year. There are people I know who have degrees, owe a ton of money and can't find a job.

 

He told me it wasn't about success, but experience. He said I would never be able to relate to him and how much work he put into becoming an attorney.

 

He then said education doesn't equal intelligence. So what's his point?

 

What do you think? Does having a degree make you more valuable in the dating world?

 

I can be just as successful as someone with a degree as they can be just as unsuccessful as someone without a degree.

 

What's all this hype about going to college these days? All you do is owe money and end up not being able to find a job that you studied for. Most of the time.

 

What do you all think?

 

I think that was quite a stupid thing for him to say.

I couldn't care less if the girl I was dating went to college or not.

It is all about how we get on and nothing to do with a piece of paper.

[d0nnivain]

I had a traditional college education & did all the classics -- lived away from home, went to sporting events, took road trips, pledged a sorority etc.

 

 

My husband enlisted right out of high school & then worked. He eventually went to school on line & got his college degree after we'd been married for 2 years.

 

 

When I reminisce about my carefree college years, he was in a bunker in a desert fighting for his life and my freedom. The enormity of those different life experiences often made it tough for us to find common ground. When I met several of his buddies that he served with -- al enlisted men -- I loved them because they were his brothers I couldn't related to them. Except for them, all other military I knew were officers because I met them when they were ROTC in college.

 

 

I also have a post graduate degree & an intellectual job. While I have dated men who didn't share my level of education, if the guy didn't have a college degree or a love of learning (like my husband), the relationships didn't last long because it was tough to find things to talk about.

 

 

This new attorney in your life may be fearful of similar concerns. He wants to talk about his day. If your analysis of any given current event is not informed by history, political science & at least a cursory understanding of constitutional law, he may be afraid of getting bored.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

I think that was quite a stupid thing for him to say.

I couldn't care less if the girl I was dating went to college or not.

It is all about how we get on and nothing to do with a piece of paper.

 

THANK YOU!!

 

I wholeheartedly agree. I also don't care about how much money someone makes, as long as they have a job and aren't lazy.

 

I think getting along with someone and personality is so much more important than their profession and training.

 

This guy was a loser. And it completely turned me off.

 

Last thing he said to me (because I think he got the hint I was pretty pissed) was, "a good ass wins more points, anyway :)"

 

PSH, as if.

[Silver93]

THANK YOU!!

 

I wholeheartedly agree. I also don't care about how much money someone makes, as long as they have a job and aren't lazy.

 

I think getting along with someone and personality is so much more important than their profession and training.

 

This guy was a loser. And it completely turned me off.

 

Last thing he said to me (because I think he got the hint I was pretty pissed) was, "a good ass wins more points, anyway :)"

 

PSH, as if.

To be honest you're better off without him.

You seem lovely and any man will be lucky to have you.

Who cares about a piece of paper.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

I had a traditional college education & did all the classics -- lived away from home, went to sporting events, took road trips, pledged a sorority etc.

 

My husband enlisted right out of high school & then worked. He eventually went to school on line & got his college degree after we'd been married for 2 years.

 

When I reminisce about my carefree college years, he was in a bunker in a desert fighting for his life and my freedom. The enormity of those different life experiences often made it tough for us to find common ground. When I met several of his buddies that he served with -- al enlisted men -- I loved them because they were his brothers I couldn't related to them. Except for them, all other military I knew were officers because I met them when they were ROTC in college.

 

I also have a post graduate degree & an intellectual job. While I have dated men who didn't share my level of education, if the guy didn't have a college degree or a love of learning (like my husband), the relationships didn't last long because it was tough to find things to talk about.

 

This new attorney in your life may be fearful of similar concerns. He wants to talk about his day. If your analysis of any given current event is not informed by history, political science & at least a cursory understanding of constitutional law, he may be afraid of getting bored.

 

I think that is pretty sad. I've dated several men and our education, training and jobs had no impact in the success of our relationship. I always believed that bringing your job home was not good for the relationship anyways. You should separate the two. There are plenty of other things to talk about other than work/college history. Nonetheless, more exciting.

 

I dated a guy who was a prison guard. I had absolute no correlation/understanding to that kind of life. I was perfectly capable of listening about his day and it never impacted the health of our relationship. In fact, if anything I was eager to learn more about his career and willingly there to support him with an open ear. He also had his co-workers who were there to understand him more clearly that shared the same kind of job and understood the day in the life of a prison guard. Those were two separate relationships which were healthy for him to have.

 

Which is why humans have friends, co-workers, significant others and family. They relate to us in their own special way.

 

This attorney guy, his family may not relate to his college experience, would he get bored talking to them too? Probably not.

 

This doesn't make sense to me.

[Zahara]

Last thing he said to me (because I think he got the hint I was pretty pissed) was, "a good ass wins more points, anyway :)"

.

 

I guess manners and class didn't come with that college degree.

[fortyninethousand322]

It's not the piece of paper I'm interested in. It's the intellectual rigor that often correlates with having that piece of paper.

 

If someone is intellectual and didn't go to college, fine.

 

Personally, I see no benefit to my college education. If anything, it's an albatross around my neck...

[jcrew11]

I think in general there are a few things that are different between people who went to a 4 year school and those who don't.

 

college grads usually are wealthier and come from wealthier families (who can pay for the tuition). Grads are also educated in similar subjects liberal arts, etc. Grads also have white collar jobs (office jobs) instead of blue collar jobs. Grads may also get masters degrees or law degrees.

 

Another important thing is that those who can afford college may be wealthier and can also be seen as more responsible with managing money and being educated on financial resposibility.

 

Of course if you are wealthy with just a vocational degree, then that is acceptable. But he could be wary that he is seen as a "sugar daddy" lawyer who has to support a wife/GF who is careless about household expenses.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

Well he just missed out on this articulate fine piece of ass.

[Sivok]

I personally prefer dating intellectual and successful/independent women.

 

Although there are people without degrees who do fit that criteria, the VAST majority of men/women do not. Go on any dating site and sort people by education - you'll see what I mean. Your parents (and im assuming yourself) are rare exceptions.

 

It is a red flag for me (as I don't want to be in a position where someone is completely financially dependent on me and/or incapable of having deeper/intellectual conversations), but if I find out they found success and intellectual integrity another way, I can definitely keep an open mind.

[stillafool]

I was talking to a guy from OLD who is an attorney. I told him how I have no college degree. I went to a vocational school for an Esthetician license instead. College was never my thing and probably never will be.

 

Anyways, he said that he prefers dating someone with a college degree, but it's not a deal breaker. And I asked him why he prefers that over someone without a degree and how it would affect their relationship. Both my parents didn't have a degree and made well over a million a year. There are people I know who have degrees, owe a ton of money and can't find a job.

 

He told me it wasn't about success, but experience. He said I would never be able to relate to him and how much work he put into becoming an attorney.

 

He then said education doesn't equal intelligence. So what's his point?

 

What do you think? Does having a degree make you more valuable in the dating world?

 

I can be just as successful as someone with a degree as they can be just as unsuccessful as someone without a degree.

 

What's all this hype about going to college these days? All you do is owe money and end up not being able to find a job that you studied for. Most of the time.

 

What do you all think?

 

It's certainly his loss not yours.

[d0nnivain]

I think that is pretty sad.

 

 

Can I get a clarification please? Are you calling me sad or the attorney? or both?

 

 

I think there has to be a common ground. I think 2 people have to have stuff to talk about & it shouldn't only be work but the law touches many aspects of every day life so it's hard for lawyers to leave their jobs at work. Their professions inform the way they look at the world.

 

 

No a piece of paper shouldn't be the litmus test for a relationship but there has to be some commonality. If you can't find something to talk about, what is the basis for the relationship?

 

 

Granted his comment about a nice butt negates all his highfalutin pompous theory about education being a requirement but communication remains important.

[soccerrprp]

Well he just missed out on this articulate fine piece of ass.

 

I'm certain he knows that he missed out on a very attractive woman, but his ideal partner needs to be more than that. For some, many, intellectual capacity and compatibility matters.... a lot. Yes, you're not always guaranteed that a degree helps you ID such people, but it is a start. He's an attorney and most attorneys have a specific spectrum of personality that makes them more critical. He feels that you would not be able to relate to him, so he did what suited him.

 

I agree with someone else. You sound like a sweet person. This guy probably would not have been a good match for someone like yourself.

[stillafool]

Well he just missed out on this articulate fine piece of ass.

 

He probably would have bored you to tears anyway.

[hotpotato]

I think that's funny coming from an attorney. I'm sure he knows that a degree to become a lawyer is a new thing, and many attorneys and judges in the past didn't have degrees...They simply worked as assistants to lawyers and passed the bar!

 

It doesn't matter to me.

 

I never graduated from college, and it never bothered the very few very wealthy men I once knew.

 

I've known attorneys who didn't care in the slightest that I don't have a degree.

 

I think you should find another lawyer to date.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

Can I get a clarification please? Are you calling me sad or the attorney? or both?

 

 

I think there has to be a common ground. I think 2 people have to have stuff to talk about & it shouldn't only be work but the law touches many aspects of every day life so it's hard for lawyers to leave their jobs at work. Their professions inform the way they look at the world.

 

 

No a piece of paper shouldn't be the litmus test for a relationship but there has to be some commonality. If you can't find something to talk about, what is the basis for the relationship?

 

 

Granted his comment about a nice butt negates all his highfalutin pompous theory about education being a requirement but communication remains important.

 

Not calling you sad. It is sad that someone's level of education is based on whether they are worthy of dating.

 

I believe there is more to talk about then my frickin job. I'd rather not talk about it once I get home to be honest.

 

I work to make a living, not to make a relationship.

 

A relationship consists of so much more.

 

Maybe I'm not fit to date an attorney. I don't really think I'd get along with them anyhow considering the recent circumstances.

[pickflicker]

I was talking to a guy from OLD who is an attorney. I told him how I have no college degree. I went to a vocational school for an Esthetician license instead. College was never my thing and probably never will be.

 

Anyways, he said that he prefers dating someone with a college degree, but it's not a deal breaker. And I asked him why he prefers that over someone without a degree and how it would affect their relationship. Both my parents didn't have a degree and made well over a million a year. There are people I know who have degrees, owe a ton of money and can't find a job.

 

He told me it wasn't about success, but experience. He said I would never be able to relate to him and how much work he put into becoming an attorney.

 

He then said education doesn't equal intelligence. So what's his point?

 

What do you think? Does having a degree make you more valuable in the dating world?

 

I can be just as successful as someone with a degree as they can be just as unsuccessful as someone without a degree.

 

What's all this hype about going to college these days? All you do is owe money and end up not being able to find a job that you studied for. Most of the time.

 

What do you all think?

 

I'm the only one in my family with a college degree, and I'm about to start a second one. It makes no difference to me. Much more important is drive, determination and passion in whatever your vocation.

 

University is very different here (Australia) than it is in the US. We have a scheme where I can defer the costs of the degree to the government, who pays the loan in full, and then when I complete the degree, I pay it back through taxes. Below a certain threshold, I don't need to pay the money back. Once above the threshold (which I already am, because I work full time), I pay back a small amount each week that's taken directly out of my gross income.

 

The loan doesn't have any interest (beyond regular CPI increases - a few percent at best), it doesn't impact my credit rating, and the debt can't be inherited by my next of kin if I die - it's wiped out.

 

The way higher education is structured in the US is a joke. Along with medical bills, an inability to pay back student loans is seeing a shocking increase in debt default. Both systems need to be subsidised in the large part by the government, to start making it affordable for everyone. So I can see your hesitation - I'd think twice before opting for higher education in the US.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

Sometimes it is the pursuit of knowledge that makes the difference and people who go to college as opposed to those who don't, are more pursuers of knowledge. Also, they usually are ambitious and he that is a turn on to some people. It doesn't really matter in the end because you will find someone who is more compatible with you anyway and they will not care about education or knowledge or ambition. They will want someone sweet and cute who is bubbly and you will make them very happy. No worries, Bless.

 

I'm ambitious in bed, does that count?

 

No matter his level of intelligence, he sounds ignorant to me.

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

I'm certain he knows that he missed out on a very attractive woman, but his ideal partner needs to be more than that. For some, many, intellectual capacity and compatibility matters.... a lot. Yes, you're not always guaranteed that a degree helps you ID such people, but it is a start. He's an attorney and most attorneys have a specific spectrum of personality that makes them more critical. He feels that you would not be able to relate to him, so he did what suited him.

 

I agree with someone else. You sound like a sweet person. This guy probably would not have been a good match for someone like yourself.

 

Someone like myself? What's the mean?

 

Hey, I had it clearly put on my site that I don't have a degree, yet he pursues me. Just because I don't have a degree, doesn't mean I'm not intellectual or incompatible to someone with a degree.

 

He just said, "I didn't learn a damn thing in college."

 

So what makes a difference. Guess what, I learned a damn lot in life without a degree!

 

And it was I that said we aren't a suitable match because I found it rude for him to say such a thing to me when he doesn't know me. He didn't say it was a deal breaker, just not really what he preferred which was insulting. But the fact that was important to him, I decided to save us both time and energy and go our separate ways.

 

I guess I'm just not the type of person to care about someone's education, or how much money they make.

 

I like a free spirit, a thinker, someone who can enjoy the little things and not judge a person by their home or income or education. People are SO much more than a piece of paper.

[kaylan]

Considering his profession, and the real life stats out there on education and income, I can see why the man has reservations.

 

Its just a reality that education relates to income and social class. Its not the end all be all, and exceptions exist, but sociological stats dont lie.

 

That said, dude could broach the subject better. I prefer college educated women, and have a positive bias towards center majors (because of my own fave interests), but I wouldnt completely rule out a gal who didnt go the college route...so long as shes independent, has her own cash, and is self sufficient. But like I said, I can see why an attorney would think a hs grad would be more risky than a college grad. Since a college grad is more likely to make her own money and be more independent.

 

The problem with OLD is that I notice a lot of the women without any college experience seem to not have their stuff together. And not for nothing...whenever I see a young womans profile mention kid, and can always guess that shes only graduated high school. Im hardly wrong when I check that section of their profile.

 

It is what it is.

 

PS - I dont think intelligence is always linked to education. Though I will say, I meet more smart educated folks, than smart folks who stopped school after highschool. Though smart people do come from all backgrounds of course...there are certain fields and majors that require a certain amount of smarts.

Edited February 24, 2014 by kaylan

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

Considering his profession, and the real life stats out there on education and income, I can see why the man has reservations.

 

Its just a reality that education relates to income and social class. Its not the end all be all, and exceptions exist, but sociological stats dont lie.

 

That said, dude could broach the subject better. I prefer college educated women, and have a positive bias towards center majors (because of my own fave interests), but I wouldnt completely rule out a gal who didnt go the college route...so long as shes independent, has her own cash, and is self sufficient. But like I said, I can see why an attorney would think a hs grad would be more risky than a college grad. Since a college grad is more likely to make her own money and be more independent.

 

The problem with OLD is that I notice a lot of the women without any college experience seem to not have their stuff together. And not for nothing...whenever I see a young womans profile mention kid, and can always guess that shes only graduated high school. Im hardly wrong when I check that section of their profile.

 

It is what it is.

 

I'm honest on my profile and clearly state what I do for work. I don't have a degree, but I have military experience and a license. I just didn't do college.

 

Don't approach me if I'm not what you want.

 

I live on my own, no kids, make my own money, great credit, pay bills on time, have my own car paid in cash and don't need a man to support me.

 

OLD is starting to be ridiculous. Who the hell is he? Only Brad Pitt can get away with that kind of behavior.

 

Plus, I dated a guy prior who was making over 100 grand a year and told me to stop working and be a stay at home mom and I said "on to the next one!"

[kaylan]

Let me add...I would kind of be turned off by beauty school. If only because the kind of girls Ive met who have had that schooling tended to be materialistic, not that bright, and didnt have much for career aspirations. This is not every girl of course. I definitely love the girls who aspire to run their own business. And I know a girl who has both an bueaty school and business degree.

 

My thing is that with girls who go to certain schooling...I find I cant talk to them meaningfully about certain things Im passionate about...like social issues, politics, business, law, maybe soccer lol.

 

EDIT: Military experience is great though. See youre much different from the typical fresh out of high school bubbly girl that wants to do hair and make people pretty. That military experience is great for conversation and world view. So I wouldnt worry about it if this dude isnt into you.

 

And who the hell is he? Well apparently hes a well to do guy with enough options to be selective. Dont hate on it, just be selective as well.

Edited February 24, 2014 by kaylan

[stillafool]

Hey, I had it clearly put on my site that I don't have a degree, yet he pursues me.

 

 

 

I agree this is odd. One would think he would have passed you by and kept the insults to himself.

[Silver93]

Who cares if someone is educated or not. It all depends on how you get on with them.

Some of the smartest people have no degree's whatsoever.

I really don't see how anyone can stick up for how this man treated the OP here.