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Defending your girl frirnds honer


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my girl friend is mad at me because i let her son in law call her a bitch . he left befor i could do any thing, now she does not want any thing to do with me .what shoud i do go kick his ass now or what

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I think there are better options that wanting to kick your son's butt.

How about talking to him and telling him that he needs to respect your girlfriend.

Has he ever heard you talk to her that way? If so, you also need to look at how you yourself talk to her.

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There should be no kicking of butts. If she's a grown woman, she should be able to take care of herself in terms of telling the son-in-law to not speak to her that way. It's not even your business since you're not related.

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caz_cheer_jenn

If she has a backbone, then let her approach him about it. It is so ridiculous for women to expect their men to jump up and beat the tar out of anyone who has a bad word to say about her. Bottom line: yes, chivalry is great and I admit I like when a man behaves like a true gentleman...but "defending my honor" is something that I take full responsibility for! If I don't like something that someone has said to me, they will hear it from me...I would never go running back to my boyfriend and whine about him not doing anything about it. On the other hand, if it happens again and YOU feel uncomfortable with him speaking to her that way, then by all means, say something. Ass-kicking, however, is for the Jerry Springer show...resolve it with words and if he can't handle it appropriately, do not welcome him back into your home.

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Dreamgirl03

first of all, how is it her son in law if she is not married and he is not urs..and second..i would have stopped him before he got far from the house and talked to him about what he did and why he did it..if someone like that said that to me and my boyfriend didnt even try to stop him to talk to him i would be pissed too..hell, i dont even let HIM call me a bitch, let alone someone else while he`s there and he not say anything

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Originally posted by Dreamgirl03

first of all, how is it her son in law if she is not married and he is not urs..

 

her daughter's husband

 

Anyway- the only time I expect my BF or anyone to take up for me is if I'm not there. If someone's talking behind my back than sure- call them on it. But if I'm there -I got it covered.

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Originally posted by 0cool

 

my girl friend is mad at me because i let her son in law call her a bitch . he left befor i could do any thing, now she does not want any thing to do with me .what shoud i do go kick his ass now or what

 

This is quite ridiculous. Your son in law is a human, and humans possess individual drive and thought. It would not have been possible in any way for you to have prevented your son in law from doing what he chose to do at that particular moment in time.

 

If your girlfriend wishes her honor defended, she will find that she must rise to such occasions herself. She cannot rely on other people beating those who mistreat her to a pulp. If someone does something to offend her, it is not required of you to do anything. If she has a problem then she ought to handle it. Your girlfriend's view on life seems quite comical to me, and her behavior is nothing short of juvenile.

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emtandmommy2

Ok, here is my take on things. She is a grown woman and should be able to speak for herself. Had that been my son in law, he woulda known through an in the face discussion that under no circumstances that he speak to me that way or he will NEVER step foot in my house again. If you can't stick up for yourself,then you deserve to be walked on. Thats just MHO.You can't stand there and take it and expect someone to do your dirty work for ya.

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I thought this was about defending your girlfriend's boner at first.

 

Anyway, this is pretty lame. If I ever dated a girl who wanted me to kick someone's ass, a girl who tries to instigates fights, I'd say adios to her.

 

Unless of course someone physically hurt her or tried to.

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:confused: Well was the "son in law" telling the truth? It sounds like he was if she expects you to kick butt, :confused:

 

 

so confused.........very,very,very,confused.....................................

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LikkleMissConfused

HEY COME ON EVERYONE,

 

to be fair, i was at my BF's parent house a couple of weekends ago, his parents have been on a long extended holiday so he was looking after there house as well as his little brother. I was also looking after him, cooking for him, taking him to my house etc. That particular weekend two police speeding fines came through the post, in his dad's name because his other 23 yr old bro was driving his dad's car around.

 

My BF gave it to him and he started laughing, so I made a comment "Its a bit irresponsible of you isn't it" that was it his brother called me a double standards bitch, I have no right so say anything or get invovled its not my house, I have no authority over him etc etc. My BF just sat there. I felt stupid unwanted and most of all unsupported.

 

Maybe your GF just wanted a little support from you I mean stick up for her. If anyone said anything like that to my BF infront of me I would be the first to stand up and say "hey you shut it"

 

Yes it still upsets be, because my BF too has no backbone to stand up for me, and I wish I didn't make a comment at all but then I am older and more mature and responsible and he didn't like hearing how irresponsible he is.

 

But to attack me like that was horrible, it was even more horrible that my BF didn't do anything to stop him.

 

So be fair people. Its not about kick ass but about sticking up for the person your dating, otherwise whats the point of dating that person.

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HokeyReligions

First -- telling a son-in-law to get out and not come back almost guarantees losing the daughter too. Not a good move.

 

If you are with your gf and someone calls her a name, just speak up and tell that person that there is no reason for name-calling and that you expect him to show some respect.

 

My FIL called me a name in front of my husband (then bf) and I was extremely pissed when nothing was said in my defense, or support if you prefer that word. I was taught to respect my elders so after no one said anything and my bf just proceeded like nothing had happened, I excused myself and left. They got the message and I behaved in a more mature fashion then did they. It never happened again.

 

But, my bf's inability to stand up for me told me that his father had too much influence over him. That is a different situation from yours. A son-in-law should show respect to his wife's parents. If he doesn't have the maturity or grace or decency to walk away and/or behaves in such a childish manner as to call a parent-figure a name then he should be put in his place.

 

I would never allow my mother, or anyone else, to call my husband names. I defend his honor too.

 

The thing you have to ask yourself, Ocool, is why you did not say anything and why your gf expected you to say something. You may have a different set of priorities or boundaries that you expect in a relationship then she does. I don't know the context of the name-calling, but why didn't you speak up? If you feel that it's not your place -- then that is fine. Tell your gf that and ask her why she thought it WAS your place to speak up? If she is not willing to open up communications with you, there is nothing you can do about it. The issue is HERS and not yours now.

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caz_cheer_jenn
But to attack me like that was horrible, it was even more horrible that my BF didn't do anything to stop him.

And I repeat....IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT HE SAID, SAY SO!!! Stand up for YOURSELF, don't expect your b/f to. If, after you stand up for yourself and the little bastard says something else to you, then yes, your b/f should step in and tell him to knock it off. But at least show a little bit of backbone before you go running to him for support. In my experience, guys don't like helpless girls.

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HokeyReligions
Originally posted by caz_cheer_jenn

And I repeat....IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT HE SAID, SAY SO!!! Stand up for YOURSELF, don't expect your b/f to. If, after you stand up for yourself and the little bastard says something else to you, then yes, your b/f should step in and tell him to knock it off. But at least show a little bit of backbone before you go running to him for support. In my experience, guys don't like helpless girls.

 

Expecting her bf to stand up for her does NOT mean that she was not able to stand up for herself, or that she does not have a backbone or went running to anyone.

 

Read her post again. Her bf's brother called her a name. Her bf SHOULD have at least said "hey, don't call my gf a xxxxx" and shown her that much respect.

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Love2BLoved
Originally posted by 0cool

[color=blue][/color]

 

 

my girl friend is mad at me because i let her son in law call her a bitch . he left befor i could do any thing, now she does not want any thing to do with me .what shoud i do go kick his ass now or what

 

 

If she really cares about you she would not put you in that position.

 

If you witnessed the incident I think it's fine for you to tell him something, but there's no need for you to have a fist fight with this man.

 

Personally, when there are family problems like that I try not to get involved because in the end they will be ok with each other and I will be the one that feels out of place. That's HER son-in-law she should know how to defend herself and not put herself in a position to be called a b*tch in the first place.

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LikkleMissConfused

caz_cheer_jenn, I think you quoted from my post, like HokeyReligions said

 

Expecting her bf to stand up for her does NOT mean that she was not able to stand up for herself, or that she does not have a backbone or went running to anyone.

 

Read her post again. Her bf's brother called her a name. Her bf SHOULD have at least said "hey, don't call my gf a xxxxx" and shown her that much respect.

 

My BF's brother was way out of line, and I'm no weak lady trust me. I stood up for mself but maturely without saying anything out of order. He still continued to attack me and my BF sat there. So before you start giving me advice like HR said read the post properly please and don't make assumptions that I have no back bone.

 

Thank you.

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caz_cheer_jenn

My point continues to be that a person should stick up for themselves first, before expecting others to do so. It's not a bad thing to want your b/f to tell his brother to shut his mouth, but AFTER you have had a chance to say something yourself. If, after you have said something in your own defense and that person continues to be rude or try to insitgate things, your b/f should step in and say something. Personally, I would be annoyed if my b/f jumped right in before I had a chance to say something to the other person...almost as if he assumed I could not handle it on my own.

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LikkleMissConfused

Yes I understand your point although I think your second post was without reading my post properly.

 

I completely agree with you and yes everyone should stand up for themselves and stick up for ehat they beleive to be right and wrong.

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