my mother is being extremely selfish

[alison1]

Hi. I am currently a college student at a prestigious university. As I became older, I have began studying my facial profile. I have a weak chin, and I believe it detracts from my looks. I was embarrassed to tell my parents for a while that I don't like my chin, but finally today I texted my mother, saying...

 

Me: i got a 90 on my spanish test

mom: yay so proud of you!!

Me: I don't like my chin. it detracts from my looks

mom: your brain and ****** up personality detracts from your looks.

me: can we please set up a consultation to talk to the plastic surgeon that has done your neck and eyes?

mom: no. leave me alone. stop this nonsense.

 

I'm unhappy with my chin/profile and I want a chin implant. My mother has gotten 2 anti-aging surgeries in the past year, and this doctor is skilled and natural. Two years ago, i was considering a nose job and she brought me to the doctor for a consultation. I backed out of getting a nose job, even though I had set up a date, because I realized that the problem was my chin, and not my nose. I definitely do not want a nose job even though I have a bump on it. I like my flawed nose, but I dislike my flawed chin. Why can't she take me for a consultation for my chin? Any advice on how to convince her? Thanks.

[acrosstheuniverse]

I am so very confused.

 

Are you paying for this, or your mother?

 

If it's you, then you don't need your mother's consent to book a consultation, just do it.

 

If it's your mother, then you sound incredibly spoilt and self-entitled. 'I want plastic surgery so my mother is being selfish for refusing it'... are you FREAKIN' KIDDING? Your parents gave birth to you, raised you, I bet they're financially supporting you at least slightly during college too, right? They don't owe you anything, least of all a cosmetic procedure. The fact that you can even suggest she's being the selfish one shows a staggering lack of insight into reality and human relationships, and a humongous lack of gratitude. I'm almost speechless.

[alison1]

I'm paying for it with my bond money I had received when I was born.

[GorillaTheater]

I'm paying for it with my bond money I had received when I was born.

 

Then no problem. Contact the physician of your choice and set up a consultation.

[acrosstheuniverse]

I'm paying for it with my bond money I had received when I was born.

 

Is that her problem with it? That she doesn't want you to blow your bond on cosmetic surgery?

 

I mean, I can see both sides there. On one hand, it's money I'm sure they hoped you would use wisely for your future. They probably think you're just gorgeous as you are and don't want to see you 'waste' money on this when you could be contributing it towards a house mortgage or something.

 

But on the other hand, it's technically 'your' money (I hope you realise how lucky you are to have that, btw) to do what you wish with... personally I'd be more inclined to honour the fact that it was a gift and use it for something they wouldn't disagree with so vehemently, and save up once you're working for the procedure.

 

Unless she has an entirely different reason for not wanting you to do this.

[GorillaTheater]

They probably think you're just gorgeous as you are and don't want to see you 'waste' money on this

 

I agree, and it's possible that they're right. Alison, do you think that you're looking at your "chin issue", for lack of a better term, as objectively as possible? Sometimes people have hyper-critical opinions about their looks which aren't necessarily grounded in reality.

[alison1]

I'm trying hard not to sound conceited, but I think I have a naturally pretty face. The only makeup I wear daily is mascara on my upper lashes and that's all I need. But, when I turn to the side, my face is slightly unbalanced. I admit it could be way worse, but its my only facial flaw i'd like to change. I have an oval/heart shaped face, which I love, but since my jaw is angular, and not rounded, I would only look good with a strong chin. I can't really explain it. Some girls can look good with weak chins, if their overall features are soft and delicate. However, I can't. I barely wear my hair up anymore, in fear that people will think I'm less pretty because of my chin.

 

I know my chin is not too bad. my mom is very superficial and she would suggest I have this surgery a long time ago if it was. But why just settle with being pretty, if I know that this one procedure will make me stunning?

 

Again, sorry if this sounds conceited. I am just trying to be realistic so you understand my situation better.

[alison1]

also, I have pouty lips, so they extend out way further than my chin.

[GorillaTheater]

With that description, I'd be willing to bet that, were you to post your pic here, the overwhelming response would be pretty positive.

 

Ultimately though, it's your money and your decision.

[alison1]

I am the only one in my family with a weak chin, out of 5 of us. I don't know who I take after. To be honest, I bet few people realize I have a weak chin unless they are examining me (because it's not SUPER weak), but I notice it. I guess my mom doesn't understand because she doesn't have a weak chin. I think a stronger chin would make me look more elegant. I don't want to reshape it. I just want an implant to extend it outwards.

[alison1]

I talked to her on the phone and she said she doesn't want to take part in it or tell my father because it makes her look bad because she had 2 anti-aging surgeries this year- to clean up her eyes and neck. she is scared of my dad because he would think she is making a bad influence on me. also, she thinks its a stupid procedure. but who is she to say that? she wouldn't say this if she had a weak chin.