MissingMyHubby Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 So some updates over last couple days... The day after the party, we exchanged a couple texts reminiscing.. Then she randomly gets into detail about sex when she was pregnant -- with her husband. Then her next line says "society is so much safer we nvr got together as a couple." but then continues with "but im loyal to my husband and have no intent to cheat." I was slightly irritated but just said " didnt think u did. What made u think otherwise?" she said she didnt think i did but said guys make passes a lot cuz of her dirty mouth.. I replied saying " i can clean up the txts a bit and make them less frequent" and she said " oh i clean them hourly." she misunderstood me but it came out shes hiding our texts. so then she says you're free to come over anytime for coffee. and follows it up with sayinf anytime my gf wants to come over and have sex with her she can so her huz can watch. then she said she wanted to get me and my gf to go with her to meet up with her old bf ( who's her best friend and turned gay) for a weekend away hanging out in a gay club. it sounds fun and my gf is also interested but I have no idea her intentions ( and I also have no idea if her husband is going.) late night text comes in and says: I was running and someone thought I was a mama ( basically calling her fat/old) and then asked do I think she looks like that? I didn't respond till the next morning basically jokin it off and said "screw em." I wasn't comfortable giving her a definite compliment. we exchanged some funny texts and finally she said thank you I feel better. a little after that she said " if what we have hits the fan ( our current relationships) we can have ourselves as a backup. I couldn't tell if it was a joke.. A bit later she says I could tell you loved her (my ex who was at the party) I'm guessing through body language etc. I divulge to her that she hurt me so bad that I have an inability to get super close now ( she dumped me and immediately got married). so then she says "sorry to get into you love life. U should now me now I hold nothing back and you can ask me anything. Ill will never get pissed. For some strange reason I trust u pretty quick. " I pretty much told her its okay I divulged on my own. The rest until now was mostly surface stuff, askimg me on 2 occasions to exercise w her but i couldnt. What is to be made of this, I really dont wanna go down this path if its bordering infidelity. She asked also if I was buying a ring soon and I said we may not even get married (me n gf) I'm just wondering if she is using me. Link to post Share on other sites
Betterthanthis13 Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 I don't know the backstory behind this but from what I can gather from this post: You have a gf, she is ok with your relationship with this married woman and possibly into a group sex thing. Married woman "cleans" her texts which means she is hiding her relationship with you from her husband. I don't know if she is using you, but it sounds like she is trying to get you and your gf to hook up with her on the sly from her H. But then she says her H can watch? I think your best bet (if you want to continue interacting with this woman) is to ask her to clarify what her H knows about. And then verify it with him. If you and your gf are open minded to doing stuff with her that is one thing, but yes it is definitely infidelity if she is keeping your relationship a secret from her H, whether u hook up with her or not. And then something else about you being in love with your ex gf? You have a lot going on lol.... Link to post Share on other sites
BradJacobs Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 I'm just wondering if she is using me. You're using her as much as she's using you so what does it matter? Own up to the fact that you like the attention. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissingMyHubby Posted August 23, 2013 Author Share Posted August 23, 2013 I appreciate the responses especially the one that picked apart all the texts. 2 1st clear the air her ex is now a gay guy he only came out after they dated a long time ago so he's not really a threat. I can admit to being equally as a bad party here and I actually starting to feel guilty . I kind of want to tell her " I really don't feel right texting you as much as I am with a lot of the subjects we discuss because it is diverting my attention from my significant other." if she can't respect that which I'm sure she will then oh well. she just tends to bring up the husband every so often saying they had sex or she's loyal to him and has no intent to cheat but yet throws all this stuff at me. I'm acting very aloof about it which is probably making her crazy if I'm not going for her so called advances. but what do I know? sorry I disappointed I've very rarely give into temptation and have never physically cheated on anyone in my past. or I can simply not say anything to her and just cease the texts or cut them way back. it's weird because every other day there's hardly any texts from her and they are very platonic but then the other days she'll send 60 Link to post Share on other sites
Betterthanthis13 Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 I appreciate the responses especially the one that picked apart all the texts. 2 1st clear the air her ex is now a gay guy he only came out after they dated a long time ago so he's not really a threat. I can admit to being equally as a bad party here and I actually starting to feel guilty . I kind of want to tell her " I really don't feel right texting you as much as I am with a lot of the subjects we discuss because it is diverting my attention from my significant other." if she can't respect that which I'm sure she will then oh well. she just tends to bring up the husband every so often saying they had sex or she's loyal to him and has no intent to cheat but yet throws all this stuff at me. I'm acting very aloof about it which is probably making her crazy if I'm not going for her so called advances. but what do I know? sorry I disappointed I've very rarely give into temptation and have never physically cheated on anyone in my past. or I can simply not say anything to her and just cease the texts or cut them way back. it's weird because every other day there's hardly any texts from her and they are very platonic but then the other days she'll send 60 I don't see why it matters who's gay and who's not? The important thing is your interaction with this woman is making you feel like you are doing something you shouldn't be. She isn't in charge of your life- you are. You sound like a person who cares about other people and who cares about doing the right thing. Don't let anyone talk you into doing anything you don't feel ok with. If you need to speak up- do it. Not everyone in this life will like you. But you can always like yourself if you do the right thing. There are people on this planet who will use you and manipulate you if you let them. I don't know if she is one of them because I have no way to tell over the Internet. But if you were my friend IRL, or my kid- I would advise you to stay away from this married lady. She sounds like trouble for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissingMyHubby Posted August 24, 2013 Author Share Posted August 24, 2013 Gf Doesnt know cuz we have opposite schedules so i did get involved with more texting today not by my initiation. but she started at 8am with a question... and then we texted a couple times.before she said she would be busy today at wotk so very little texting. i didnt reply. When she got off, there was a waterfall of txts. then she comes out of nowhere and says this Don't take this the wrong way, but if we ****** we would walk away bloody or in the hospital. I replied saying how am i sposed to take it. she nvr answered the question and then proceeded to get graphic about a sexual episode about her and her huz. im guessing she likes to tease then immediately remind me shes married. very odd. She then said "ok im home now. time to put on the happy mom face.":) then asked about if i wanted to meet with her to exercise this weekend. Stuffs getting crazy. im not emotionally invested but i do see the impact of how i will get a void filled and neglect my own gf. i become addicted to the texts somewhat. call it an experiment but i still wont let this go any further. its starting to feel like major cheating (sorta). Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissingMyHubby Posted August 25, 2013 Author Share Posted August 25, 2013 Well she txt me last night after a day of NC and said she was having a rough day etc. NOTHIN SEXUAL WAS MENTIONED FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. said a couple funny things to cheer her up, and at the end she said "hope to c u tomorrow (exercising) " and "in a non creepy way your a good friend." Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissingMyHubby Posted August 26, 2013 Author Share Posted August 26, 2013 Appreciate the continued input. i think the spark from her end may be fading. after a solid month of funny or sexual banter with the other day calling me a good friend, i havent heard from her in 24 hrs and i know shes not working today. i have no intentions of breaking NC either. lets hope for 48 hours. she may have gotten the hint im not going to act on sexual impulse Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts