Sundaymorning Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 I notice sometimes I nit pick at my bf, rather alot from time to time and I hate it. I think it isnt fair. I will nit pick at some of his language (two words he misuses), or his choice of eyeglasses (which is eccentric but i dislike). I notice when I do this, I am doing it for a different reason than what the real nit picking is about. I sit myself down, basically correct myself and stop doing it. BUt it cycles around sometimes. So why do we do it? I mean it harms our relationships. It is unaccepting. It is unfair and I think its wrong. But we do it! Thoughts? What if i do not like the choice of his eyeglasses- regular prescription? Do i have a right to comment? Ask him to not get those? Seems controlling to me if I do. So how Can i accept something that i do not like? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 Well, are you sure he likes them? Do they not suit him? Is he fond of them and not wanting to change or does he not care? Some people are more than happy to change things that they are lackadaisical about. Others become deeply invested in things and would be offended at being asked to change. You need to know which he is and what situation he's in. Or you could lose the idea that you have a right to dictate what he should like or not! Depends on you and him and how you both feel about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sundaymorning Posted June 27, 2004 Author Share Posted June 27, 2004 He likes to choose things that stand out...so I suppose he would choose some black glasses with thicker rims than usual (the usual would be a few millimeters, while his maybe 1/4 cm). he is a character! Hhehe, but yes, i must learn to accept a few strange things that he does, because otherwise, he would beboring, and that would suck. thanks moi Link to post Share on other sites
steven8234 Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 I think you've got a right to at least let him know you don't like his glasses. I mean I wouldn't got "hey jackass you look stupid" but let him know that you think he'd look nicer in a different frame. I also wouldn't get mad at him if he chooses to wear the frames he has. I think it's important to let him know that you still care for him and want to be with him. When I'm with a woman I'm very attuned to how they feel and am willing to make the minor changes to make them happy. Some guys aren't like that though so....gentle pursuasion is the key I think.....just a thought.... Link to post Share on other sites
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