MomsSpaghetti Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 I agree that compatible personalities are what ultimately cement a relationship. However, you have a better chance of finding someone with a compatible personality if you're good-looking, because you get around more. I don't sympathize at all with people who are good-looking and complain that they can, with no effort at all, get countless dates and one-night stands with sexually attractive people, but haven't yet found one who seems like long-term relationship material. Yeah, what a terrible problem to have. Wouldn't that be awful to be a tall, handsome (and/or rich) guy who has women swooning over him 24/7, who is just having trouble finding one worth settling down with. 99% of the work of finding a romantic partner is getting them attracted to you in the first place. What really sucks is being a guy and knowing women who are attractive and like hanging around you because of your personality, but won't ever date you because they wouldn't like being seen hitched to you due to you being short or otherwise unattractive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BradJacobs Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 99% of the work of finding a romantic partner is getting them attracted to you in the first place. Finding a partner != finding love. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 I think the main aspect when it comes to easily finding a compatible partner is to cut the games and open up with who you are. That way you will efficently and effectivley both attract the best potential mates and ward off the ones with little potential. Being attractive may get you more looks, but doesn't guarantee you any sort of compatibility. And one overly focused on looks, and not on who you are as a person, may be more willing to up and run once a better looker appears, or your looks fade. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 I see plenty of people who are not very good looking who are married, dating, engaged, holding hands, and appear to be happily in love. In fact, I think most of the people I see on the street aren't all that great looking, yet oddly enough many are wearing wedding rings. Of course, if you are not very good looking and you are trying to get a model looking girlfriend, yeah, you might have some problems. Maybe you would have better luck if you lowered your standards. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
iKING Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 I think I agree with some of this post. Yes attractive people typically have more options. But attractiveness doesn't automatically equate to finding a successful relationship partner. Some of the most attractive, successful guys I know, also had a hell of a time finding a serious partner who was into their personality and not just their looks or success. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Looks are not everything. Finding someone to spend your life with is difficult no matter what. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ForeverAlone28 Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 I constantly see good looking guys with girls and wonder, "wow, how much did you lower your standards for her?" Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 I constantly see good looking guys with girls and wonder, "wow, how much did you lower your standards for her?" Or he got to know her as a complete individual and desired more than just her body. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MomsSpaghetti Posted August 15, 2013 Author Share Posted August 15, 2013 Finding someone to spend your life with is difficult no matter what. You want to spend your life with someone who, first of all, is sexually attractive to you. If you're good-looking, finding a sexually attractive partner is no challenge. I know guys who can go to a party and they'll inevitably get the phone numbers of hot girls --- no effort involved. Even if they're trying to avoid girls, they'll have hot girls hand out their numbers. It's not like they have trouble finding dates. When they're not in a relationship, it's truly because they don't feel like being in one at the moment. You're telling me these guys have just as hard a time finding love as do unattractive guys who can't get 1 date with a woman they're sexually attracted to? lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
iKING Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 I know guys who can go to a party and they'll inevitably get the phone numbers of hot girls --- no effort involved. Even if they're trying to avoid girls, they'll have hot girls hand out their numbers. It's not like they have trouble finding dates. When they're not in a relationship, it's truly because they don't feel like being in one at the moment. You're telling me these guys have just as hard a time finding love as do unattractive guys who can't get 1 date with a woman they're sexually attracted to? lol Getting hot girl's phone numbers at parties is easy, a lot of the time they'll just give them to me without asking. There's alcohol involved and It's a party. These things happen. The part that counts is I haven't been in a single relationship with those hot girls I've met at parties, as it turns out, myself and hot party girls don't have a lot in common. Anyone can get dates, it's just a numbers game. The hard part is finding two truly compatible human beings. You are partially right though, guys who are desired, typically don't feel like being in a relationship if they're single. They run into the same relationship BS everyone else does and need a break sometimes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Great...Whats next, the sky is blue? TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 MomsSpaghetti, you sure focus on this topic a lot. Yes, good looking people have more opportunities for attracting people. That doesn't mean less attractive people have no shot. You make the most of what you have. Focusing on the unfairness of the world is just going to make you bitter, and there is nothing less attractive than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MomsSpaghetti Posted August 15, 2013 Author Share Posted August 15, 2013 Getting hot girl's phone numbers at parties is easy, a lot of the time they'll just give them to me without asking. Then you're one of the good-looking guys I was talking about. Link to post Share on other sites
iKING Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Then you're one of the good-looking guys I was talking about. I don't know? My avatar is me. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 I'm stunning, and still single, so I can't imagine how tough it must be for the ugly folk. Finding a compatible mate isn't easy - for anyone. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MomsSpaghetti Posted August 15, 2013 Author Share Posted August 15, 2013 I'm stunning, and still single Which means you're either not looking for a relationship or you are but have tightened your standards to the point where you're holding out for Mr. Right. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Which means you're either not looking for a relationship or you are but have tightened your standards to the point where you're holding out for Mr. Right. Would you suggest I settle for Mr. Wrong?? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MomsSpaghetti Posted August 15, 2013 Author Share Posted August 15, 2013 Would you suggest I settle for Mr. Wrong?? No. Did I say that? Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 However, you have a better chance of finding someone with a compatible personality if you're good-looking, because you get around more. Your theory is debunked. If it were true, only good looking people would be paired up. Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Which means you're either not looking for a relationship or you are but have tightened your standards to the point where you're holding out for Mr. Right. If you are implying that attractive people have an easier time finding relationships with Mr.Wrong... Then this thread is useless. Who DOESN'T want mister right. Why do you think we say love is hard to find for anyone? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Good looking people have more options/opportunity...But at the end of the day, nothing is guaranteed... You could fish a heavily stocked pond and not catch a thing... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
MrRightNow Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Good-looking people obviously have more options. Why would it be any other way? I think finding love is hard for most people. There are plenty of attractive people who feel lonely all the time or misunderstood. A good-looking or rich guy will probably wonder if the girl he's dating is only with him because of the way he looks or for his social status. If you're an average looking guy with an average income, at least you can be sure the girl you're dating actually sees the good in you and enjoys your company. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Would you suggest I settle for Mr. Wrong?? What if "Mr. Wrong", with some effort on your part, acceptance, understanding and willingness could actually be "Mr. Right"? I don't think this would be the case for every "Mr. Wrong", but I think people that know there will always be another attractive person after this one and the next one are too ready to just dismiss someone and categorize them as "Mr. Wrong". Personally, I think some girls just want to have sex, but call it dating and an honest attempt at a relationship...then find some minute problem with the guy they want to have sex with, thus labeling him "Mr. Wrong". Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Too many and too few options can both be a challenge to finding love. My grandmother always said "average is best". I think she was onto something. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Op, You're absolutely right. Being good looking DOES make it easier. I doubt anyone can truly deny that. Just like being naturally athletic will make it easier to go pro. EVERYONE has qualities that better suit them for certain tasks. You might be better suited to be a CEO of a large corporation, or to be a social worker helping out needy kids and families...or a poker player. You can't keep focusing on the fact that some people have it easier. I don't care how good looking someone is...there will always be someone out there better looking than they are. At some point, you just gotta stop and say, "Hey...this is who I am...and I'm happy with that. I am a unique individual with my own set of qualities and somewhere out there is someone who can truly appreciate that and love me for who I am." And just to let you know where I'm coming from...at no point during my dating life have I ever considered myself one of the "good looking" ones. I always figured I was perfectly average, looks-wise...and maybe even somewhat below average in certain aspects. But, I never let it get me down and I always felt that what I had on the inside was what made me stand out...not what was on my outside. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts