One night stand and delayed email response

[lazysunday]

I met this guy at a bar during my business trip in overseas. He was also on a business trip and the country he is staying is pretty close to the country I'm staying. At first we started with giving out our names but we ended up kissing and heading to my hotel. In a taxi to the hotel, he confessed to me that he gave me a fake name. He apologised and told me what his real name is. At that point, I didnt really care much because I thought I wouldn't see him again. But we had such a great night, especially the conversation we had.. I really felt like we have lots in common. Next morning, he asked me if I wanna have breakfast with him but I had to rush out for a meeting so I gave him my business card.

 

After coming back from the business trip, I found myself thinking about him a lot. It sounds crazy but I googled his name and found his work email. I emailed him saying that I am going back to his country next month and asked him if he wants to meet up for a coffee. 2 days later, he responded my email saying " That sounds good - only thing is that I have 2 business trips and am on holiday for the second half of that month" He ended the email with asking me how was my rest of business trip and how I am doing after the trip.

 

I responded to his email 1 day later. In this email, I specified the dates when I am planing to go ( I said I am attending a wedding so that he doesnt think that I am going there JUST to see him ) and asked him again " Can you see me on the 5th?"

 

It has been 3 days since I sent him the email..but he hasnt responded to my email.

 

I'm thinking...

Did I look too clingy? Did he reject me saying that he is busy but I failed catch that?

Was it really just a "one night stand" for him? Should I just forget about him?

 

What do you guys think?

Edited July 12, 2013 by lazysunday

[Emilia]

In a taxi to the hotel, he confessed to me that he gave me a fake name.

He is married

[therhythm]

I met this guy at a bar during my business trip in overseas. He was also on a business trip and the country he is staying is pretty close to the country I'm staying. At first we started with giving out our names but we ended up kissing and heading to my hotel. In a taxi to the hotel, he confessed to me that he gave me a fake name. He apologised and told me what his real name is. At that point, I didnt really care much because I thought I wouldn't see him again. But we had such a great night, especially the conversation we had.. I really felt like we have lots in common. Next morning, he asked me if I wanna have breakfast with him but I had to rush out for a meeting so I gave him my business card.

 

After coming back from the business trip, I found myself thinking about him a lot. It sounds crazy but I googled his name and found his work email. I emailed him saying that I am going back to his country next month and asked him if he wants to meet up for a coffee. 2 days later, he responded my email saying " That sounds good - only thing is that I have 2 business trips and am on holiday for the second half of that month" He ended the email with asking me how was my rest of business trip and how I am doing after the trip.

 

I responded to his email 1 day later. In this email, I specified the dates when I am planing to go ( I said I am attending a wedding so that he doesnt think that I am going there JUST to see him ) and asked him again " Can you see me on the 5th?"

 

It has been 3 days since I sent him the email..but he hasnt responded to my email.

 

I'm thinking...

Did I look too clingy? Did he reject me saying that he is busy but I failed catch that?

Was it really just a "one night stand" for him? Should I just forget about him?

 

What do you guys think?

 

I am sorry but for the looks of it he is just not that into you. I would just let it be. If he was really interested he would have answered you by now.

[lazysunday]

He is married

 

Maybe you are right... but I recall that he was with his manager at the bar and he seemed okay with telling his manager that he is going to my hotel.. so I don't think he is married.

[Emilia]

Maybe you are right... but I recall that he was with his manager at the bar and he seemed okay with telling his manager that he is going to my hotel.. so I don't think he is married.

Perhaps. People do lots of things on business trips, one of the guys I work with pulls a different woman every time we are out and I've even met his wife (she doesn't know).

 

It is very unusual for someone to give out a fake name. Though admittedly he gave you his real one later.

[therhythm]

He is married

 

yes, this is pretty likely too.

[clia]

He's not interested in you.

 

Think about this:

 

1. You don't live in the same country as him.

 

2. You gave him your business card, yet he never contacted you.

 

3. He didn't give you his contact information -- you found it on the Internet and contacted him.

 

4. When you asked him if he wanted to get together, he was full of excuses as to why he couldn't.

 

5. Now that you've pressed him to see him on the 5th, you get radio silence. That silence is your response.

 

Stop chasing this guy. He may well be married, or if he isn't, it's clear that he merely viewed what you had as a one night thing with a woman who he never wanted to see again. I think it's best for you to move on.

[lazysunday]

So.. here is update :

 

He replied to my email 10 days later. He told me that he had just finalised his travel schedule and would be out of the country during my visit.

He also promised me that he would let me know when is next in the country that I am in.

 

Is it a good sign? I'm confused. I'm happy to know that he took his time to respond to my email; he didn't just say "no I cant make it" but he actually waited until his travel schedule is finalised. But at the same time, I feel like he could've sent me an Email right away and could've let me know that he would get back to me once he finalised the schedule.. Am I thinking too much?

 

Now I guess I just need to wait until he sends me an Email.. It would be too much if I make another move..right?

[Emilia]

So.. here is update :

 

He replied to my email 10 days later. He told me that he had just finalised his travel schedule and would be out of the country during my visit.

He also promised me that he would let me know when is next in the country that I am in.

Is it a good sign? I'm confused. I'm happy to know that he took his time to respond to my email; he didn't just say "no I cant make it" but he actually waited until his travel schedule is finalised. But at the same time, I feel like he could've sent me an Email right away and could've let me know that he would get back to me once he finalised the schedule.. Am I thinking too much?

 

Now I guess I just need to wait until he sends me an Email.. It would be too much if I make another move..right?

You should ignore him and delete his contact details. He was trying to be kind and let you down gently. He isn't interested.

 

The social cues are: very delayed response, not available during the days you suggested, isn't prepared to give information on when he is around next.

[StayBeautiful]

And he's still married.

[Radu]

Or in a very 'comitted' relationship.

[hotpotato]

Honestly, you went into it knowing it would I ost likely be a one time thing.

 

But now you are confused because it may in fact have been a one time thing.

 

He doesnt owe you any kind of response or attention. And yes, he is probably taken. If he wanted you to email him he would have given you his address.

[Lansing]

I agree with others. Move on, don't bother contacting him again. If he does contact you when he is in your country it is just for sex and don't expect anything else.