lookingforyou Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 What are the chances that a guy, who wasn't initially attracted to a girl, upon knowing more about her develops a liking for her? They get along great and they start to get a little closer. But no side is clear on their intentions. But what are the chances that the male species grow to like the female species because they click? And guys, any personal stories? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 It can happen, but there is no guarantee it will. I've fallen for several of my female friends whom I had no attraction for in the beginning then I started liking them as people. Funny enough, they never returned my feelings. Of course, there are also plenty of stories where even after sex, the guy doesn't develop any feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeless80 Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 It has happend to me in the past - both ways. I started having feelings for guys who I was not initially attracted to and I was asked out by a couple of guys who had no romantic interest in me in the beginning. I think the main thing is to just be true to yourself so when/if the guy develops feelings for you, it's YOU that they really fall for, not the you you're pretending to be. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 It happens - depends on the person. Some people have to allow attraction to grow steadily, while others are very quick to it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 Two things could happen as you get to know someone -- you like them more or you like them less. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lookingforyou Posted May 26, 2013 Author Share Posted May 26, 2013 I actually always thought attraction doesn't grow for men. They're visual creatures. If it does happen, can it happen on a guy that has mostly pursued girls he's attracted to on first impressions? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 I actually always thought attraction doesn't grow for men. They're visual creatures. If it does happen, can it happen on a guy that has mostly pursued girls he's attracted to on first impressions? Probably not - maybe if he's making a conscious change that he feels can complement his nature, but it seems unlikely. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 I'm not sure I understand correctly. I think feelings can definitely grow in time, if there is initial physical attraction. I'm not sure about the physical attraction though, I incline to say that if there is some to begin with, it can grow as feelings develop and people get closer. If there is none, probably there is nothing to grow. Link to post Share on other sites
Tinie Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 @BluEyeL- I don't think there necessarily needs to be a physical attraction initially. There needs to be some kind of attraction (it can be intellectual, for example). There was a guy I liked who wasn't all that good-looking, but as I got to know him, his personality and intelligence were very attractive, and over time I forgot about his physical appearance and he became attractive to me and I developed feelings for him. I think it's totally possible to overlook someone's appearance if they've got lots of other good qualities. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 I'm not sure I understand correctly. I think feelings can definitely grow in time, if there is initial physical attraction. I'm not sure about the physical attraction though, I incline to say that if there is some to begin with, it can grow as feelings develop and people get closer. If there is none, probably there is nothing to grow. This is correct. The best way to get a guy's attraction to grow for you is by getting more physically attractive. In essence, guys work in binary; that is, a girl is either a 1 or a 0. As long as you're a 1 (he'll have sex with you), romantic attraction can grow based on personality traits. If you're a 0 (he wouldn't have sex with you), then chances are, no amount of awesome personality would help you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lookingforyou Posted May 26, 2013 Author Share Posted May 26, 2013 Tinie, I'm inclined to agree with BlueyeL. Only because I think it's easier for girls to overlook physical attraction and let attraction grow even when it wasn't at first present. But guys? I'm not so sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lookingforyou Posted May 26, 2013 Author Share Posted May 26, 2013 This is correct. The best way to get a guy's attraction to grow for you is by getting more physically attractive. In essence, guys work in binary; that is, a girl is either a 1 or a 0. As long as you're a 1 (he'll have sex with you), romantic attraction can grow based on personality traits. If you're a 0 (he wouldn't have sex with you), then chances are, no amount of awesome personality would help you. Is there a third option? That he's neutral toward the girl's attractiveness? And then grow to like her because of her personality? Link to post Share on other sites
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 I think attraction grows, I wasn't super physically attracted to my ex at first but I knew how amazing the conversation was. Eventually it just grew Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 I see neutral like a "zero", I mean, he is not attracted. The third option would be he is repulsed. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 What are the chances that a guy, who wasn't initially attracted to a girl, upon knowing more about her develops a liking for her? If 'unattractive' is the default, I would opine the odds are low of that perception changing. I mention this as response to your use of the phrase 'who wan't initially attracted to a girl', and qualify it with the girl being demonstrably single. If she's apparently single and he doesn't find her attractive initially, that's unlikely to change. Exceptions exist since we're all unique. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lookingforyou Posted May 26, 2013 Author Share Posted May 26, 2013 I think attraction grows, I wasn't super physically attracted to my ex at first but I knew how amazing the conversation was. Eventually it just grew Are you a female? Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 I think attraction grows, I wasn't super physically attracted to my ex at first but I knew how amazing the conversation was. Eventually it just grew Women operate differently. And media frequently even portrays this phenomenon. Any movie showing a guy falling for a girl generally involves either a physical makeover ("She's All That" comes to mind) or the girl was already attractive to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lookingforyou Posted May 26, 2013 Author Share Posted May 26, 2013 It's quite clear by now that attraction only grows on women. No guys on this thread has ever experienced that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lookingforyou Posted May 26, 2013 Author Share Posted May 26, 2013 Women operate differently. And media frequently even portrays this phenomenon. Any movie showing a guy falling for a girl generally involves either a physical makeover ("She's All That" comes to mind) or the girl was already attractive to begin with. Speaking of which, I'm reminded of these characters in He's Just Not That Into You. Gigi Philips won Alex over. And she didn't have a makeover. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 It's quite clear by now that attraction only grows on women. No guys on this thread has ever experienced that. Oh, yeah, I've experienced it, but I'm also old enough to know that style is outlier so don't promote it as the norm. In your case, past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. Does the man consistently have female friends and acquaintances which have grown into romances? Have you observed him to have a social circle of platonic female friends? His behavior is a far more accurate predictor than our opinions. What have you observed? How well do you know him? Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 Speaking of which, I'm reminded of these characters in He's Just Not That Into You. Gigi Philips won Alex over. And she didn't have a makeover. Gigi is far from hideous... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lookingforyou Posted May 26, 2013 Author Share Posted May 26, 2013 Oh, yeah, I've experienced it, but I'm also old enough to know that style is outlier so don't promote it as the norm. In your case, past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. Does the man consistently have female friends and acquaintances which have grown into romances? Have you observed him to have a social circle of platonic female friends? His behavior is a far more accurate predictor than our opinions. What have you observed? How well do you know him? Girls don't normally like him. He can be quite insensitive. He's more of a blokes guy. I know him okay enough. Not close friends but better than acquaintances. We're getting closer and IM a bit. Some people that know us think he's nice to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lookingforyou Posted May 26, 2013 Author Share Posted May 26, 2013 Gigi is far from hideous... Eh. There's a difference between looks in terms of attractiveness and physical attraction. There can be a hunk in front of me yet I don't find him attractive. Same for men. They can see a good looking woman yet not be interested in them. My point is Alex wasn't attracted to Gigi in the first place. It has nothing to do with him finding her attractive or not. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 Eh. There's a difference between looks in terms of attractiveness and physical attraction. I agree, there's a difference between attraction and physical attractiveness. Attraction = Physical attraction + non-physical attraction. For men, physical attraction to a woman is generally more important. For women, non-physical attraction to man is generally more important. There can be a hunk in front of me yet I don't find him attractive. Same for men. They can see a good looking woman yet not be interested in them. Not the same for men. Like I said above, a man will generally still have sex with a good looking woman, not matter how sh*tty her personality. Now a relationship is a different story, and this is where personality will matter. My point is Alex wasn't attracted to Gigi in the first place. It has nothing to do with him finding her attractive or not. It's a movie... Link to post Share on other sites
apple OR orange Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 theres a chance... put a number on it...... 0.01 - 0.5% Link to post Share on other sites
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