More loner men than women? More male gamers, card players, hobbyists than women?

[kaylan]

Ok, so Im sitting here tonight, sort of reminiscing about college. My first 2 years of college I went to community college, and spent a lot of time in the pool room during my off time from class. Right outside the pool room was a group of people who hung out that I called the "anime/gamer crowd".

 

Ive always played video games and loved anime myself, but I was less hardcore into it than your typical anime/gamer crowd. Im your average guy who plays Call of Duty, FIFA and Madden, and then watches Dragon Ball Z and a couple of obscure anime series. The folks in these cliques tend to watch many, many anime series, read a good bit of manga, and play RPG video games, as well as card games. Nevermind the cosplaying, larping, and going to conventions and tournaments.

 

That brings me to my main point. Ive noticed these groups always tend to be overwhelmingly male. Generally for every 10 people, maybe 3 will be girls (thats a strong maybe as well. tbh Id say 2). And Ive made friends with some of these folks since junior high school. I straddled the edge of many different cliques growing up, so Ive seen who is in or out of groups.

 

When I look at pictures of various conventions or tournaments people I know have gone to, yet again there seems to be a highly male presence. But I ask myself why? I was thinking about this tonight when my old roommate made a post about leaving for a convention vacation. And I came up with typical answers about product target audience, or guys being competitive, or how maybe theres less of these things that are palatable to women.

 

But then I realized all that is somewhat bunk and looked at Japan. A country where many women play video games, watch anime thats geared towards females, and have cutesy card game and collectors items. And with the internet, along with the scope of anime/gamer culture in America, this same stuff is available to women here.

 

Then something clicked in my brain. Something I used to say while joking around with my friends back in college. Because we usually found anime/gamer girls to be unattractive, my friend would ask "Dude, where are the hot gamer and anime loving girls at?" To which I would reply "They are took busy getting fvked". Which was to say, they are too busy hanging out and doing things with other guys to waste time on anime and card games.

 

As crude as the bolded sounds, when I think about it, over the years, the women I have met who loved anime and video games tended to not fall into those crowds Ive talk about here. While I sometimes see them dating other anime or gamer dudes, I just as much see them dating guys who have moderate to little interest in those things. On the other hand I dont see that happening with the anime/gamer dude.

 

Nevermind the fact that many people tend to see the hardcore anime/gamer crowd as kinda obsessively dorky. And card playing past junior high seems to be the realm of guys I rarely, if ever, see date or hang out with girls. Ive never really even seen girls who play Magic or Yugi Oh. All this being said, what do you think makes men more susceptible to these sort of hobbies in certain cultures. And what skews these groups to be predominately male

 

I think this has a role in dating because as I said, the groups tend to be seen as loners who hang out amongst themselves. And they are seen as kinda dorky homebodies....which can be true....because Ive known these folks to sit home on a friday evening playing D&D. To each their own...but Id like to see why others think less women get pulled into these things. And also, if others seem to see a pattern in the lives of the males who are in these groups.

Edited November 1, 2012 by kaylan

[ScreamingTrees]

I'd probably relate more to you than the more extreme nerds.. I don't do any of the stuff you've mentioned and never have, besides playing video games. I don't think that's too "out there", but maybe it is, I don't know how the typical girl my age feels about it. Used to play as a young kid, stopped for a number of years and now I've started again.

 

I'm seriously wondering how difficult it'll be to find a physically attractive girl who actually has a genuine nerdy side.. I'm not saying they're all obese, but it seems as though I'm only seeing them..

 

If I see a pasty nerdy girl with glasses and a nice figure? It kinda plays out like

in my head, at least..

[ls32ssibm]

To answer your baseline question, I think a decent number of girls are involved in these so-called "nerdy" activities, but they are rarely attractive. They get involved because they have the time to; boys are not interested in them. The ones that are smokin' hot video gamers are almost always faking it. Sorry, but playing Call of Duty and Halo doesn't make you a "gamer". Everybody and their mother plays Call of Duty and Halo. I've noticed a lot of girls do this to try and relate to their boyfriends, who are also not gamers but are just idiot jocks who all happen to play Call of Duty. But honestly, you could probably make a chart showing the direct correlation with how hot the chick is and how less of a gamer the guy is.

 

World of Warcraft, since it turned it's back on hardcore gamers around 2007 or so, also has a lot of female players. Most of these are not unlike the girls above, but it does get some of the...

 

...hardcore gamer chicks. In my experience, not only is she unattractive, but she is very weird. Her "quote" in the senior yearbook is from Final Fantasy IX (true story). She is rarely going to be worth dating for her hobbies; but is the only type of chick that can relate to the average male gamer.

[kaylan]

^Yeah Ive noticed that about some gamer or anime girls. The rare ones I have met, and the ones who usually end up as hosts for gaming and anime tv shows or events, always seem to have as much or less knowledge than me about gaming and anime. They never have me feeling lost about a particular game or series, because they tend to watch and play all the average mainstream stuff I and everyone else watches and plays.

 

Much of the time it seems as if they force interest in these things in order to connect more with males. And I am all for women trying to connect with guys in their hobbies...but too many times have I seen a girl say she loves video games or anime, but then seem to struggle to say interested when she does those things with you.

Edited November 1, 2012 by kaylan

[Necris]

 

...hardcore gamer chicks. In my experience, not only is she unattractive, but she is very weird. Her "quote" in the senior yearbook is from Final Fantasy IX (true story). She is rarely going to be worth dating for her hobbies; but is the only type of chick that can relate to the average male gamer.

 

I noticed this seems to be true for me for some reason, as bad as I am at dating I had to actually reject a girl my self, I was initially drawn to her because of her interest in gaming but when I actually went on a date she was the weirdest person I've ever met, 1st date and she's just telling me all this crazy stuff like her weirdest fantasies already and no they were not of the sexy variety but more of the disturbing why are you telling me this variety, though I suspect she was just trying to troll me, because the stuff she said was just insane and certainly grabbed the attentions of the people around us.

[crude]

The men who game and play cards etc represent a large segment of society. Add to that the guys who drink with their buddies instead of being with women, and you end up with quite a chunk of the male population who have little contact with women. The books about "he's just not that into you, because all men go after what they want" are just nonsense. Many men are too shy or have been beaten down by or have given up on women.

[Andy_K]

Here's a theory I'll throw out there:

 

Girls, particularly in their more formative years, tend to pick a bunch of friends, find common interests, and develop primarily those interests.

 

Men are more likely to pick their interests, develop them, and then find/filter their friends accordingly as they grow up.

 

As a result, guys are more likely to be into more niche interests like D&D, whereas girls will more often have more mainstream/common interests, like horse riding or bingo. Guys are more likely to be 'loners' for the same reason.

 

You'll find a lot of 'normal' girls can get quite into certain geeky hobbies if you introduce them in the right way. Even the ones who say they've never been into that sort of thing. The simple reason is, they've never really tried it before

[Emilia]

Yes I think it's a socialisation thing. Girls are brought up in a way that encourages gregarious behaviour, ie hanging out in groups, organising events, having mass sleepovers. All my colleagues with teenage daughters complain that they have 10 or so girls over for sleep-overs at a time. You don't hear that from boys as much. They are more likely to develop 'loner' hobbies such as gaming.

[irc333]

I have to say, when out gaming...like Magic the Gathering or strategy games, it's mostly men who like to play.

 

Go to ANY comic venue, and there's a table full of dudes playing. If there is a cute woman there, she's with her boyfriend reading a book.

 

They never participate hardly.

 

Though, at conventions, there's a good amount of attractive women there, I've sure you've seen the hot "supergirls" and "slave leahs"

 

Chances are 99% of these Slave Leahs have husbands or boyfriends. ;lol

 

 

So ....there's a contradiction here......of course, they might be there for the purpose of looking hot when dressed in a Sci-Fi character costume, but I hardly see them at MTG tournament tables.

 

 

 

^Yeah Ive noticed that about some gamer or anime girls. The rare ones I have met, and the ones who usually end up as hosts for gaming and anime tv shows or events, always seem to have as much or less knowledge than me about gaming and anime. They never have me feeling lost about a particular game or series, because they tend to watch and play all the average mainstream stuff I and everyone else watches and plays.

 

Much of the time it seems as if they force interest in these things in order to connect more with males. And I am all for women trying to connect with guys in their hobbies...but too many times have I seen a girl say she loves video games or anime, but then seem to struggle to say interested when she does those things with you.

[Titania22]

Well I wouldn't describe myself as hot, but I wouldn't describe myself as unattractive either. And I can say for sure my interests are not forced to attract someone. I don't obsessively know details about these interests, because I am not a details person. I prefer just to get enjoyment out of gaming, anime, table top gaming but not take it too seriously.

 

At the gaming group at the university I go to, there are other women, and I wouldn't describe them all as unattractive either. In fact I would describe most as more attractive than me, simply due to them being much younger then me.

 

But most I just sit at home playing SC2. Oh and MLG is on this weekend, and I have been looking forward to it for a month. I even treated myself to a membership, so I can watch it in High Def.

 

As for my attractiveness USMCHokie and NinjaInPajamas both met me in person, so they would be better to ask to gauge my actual attractiveness.

 

But I agree with OP many more guys get into these interest than girls, but it is slowly shifting.

[Emilia]

 

As for my attractiveness USMCHokie and NinjaInPajamas both met me in person,

 

Oh yeah? What were the three of you up to you naughty girl?

[Titania22]

Oh yeah? What were the three of you up to you naughty girl?

 

We spent 12hrs together, and saw many things. We even saw FishTaco.

[ascendotum]

If you have a functioning vagina and have started puberty there's never a need to be lonely as long as you're under 400 pounds and look better than Freddy Kreuger.

 

Oh you're just being ridiculous. Its more like they have to be under just 300 pds and look better than Beulah Balbricker (from movie Porky's)

[irc333]

How did they meet you in person, if you live in Australia?

 

 

 

Well I wouldn't describe myself as hot, but I wouldn't describe myself as unattractive either. And I can say for sure my interests are not forced to attract someone. I don't obsessively know details about these interests, because I am not a details person. I prefer just to get enjoyment out of gaming, anime, table top gaming but not take it too seriously.

 

At the gaming group at the university I go to, there are other women, and I wouldn't describe them all as unattractive either. In fact I would describe most as more attractive than me, simply due to them being much younger then me.

 

But most I just sit at home playing SC2. Oh and MLG is on this weekend, and I have been looking forward to it for a month. I even treated myself to a membership, so I can watch it in High Def.

 

As for my attractiveness USMCHokie and NinjaInPajamas both met me in person, so they would be better to ask to gauge my actual attractiveness.

 

But I agree with OP many more guys get into these interest than girls, but it is slowly shifting.

[Emilia]

How did they meet you in person, if you live in Australia?

 

Probably has something to do with the invention of aircraft?

[ascendotum]

Though, at conventions, there's a good amount of attractive women there, I've sure you've seen the hot "supergirls" and "slave leahs"

Chances are 99% of these Slave Leahs have husbands or boyfriends. ;lol

 

Woah. I've seen a handful of slave leahs, but a whole room full, what a sight.

Where was that taken?

Geek heaven, how many wet dreams is that still fueling for the perma single guys that where there. I'm getting the horn just looking at the pixels. lol.

thanks for the new wallpaper irc.

[grkBoy]

It's a difference in mentalities, although we're seeing more women now getting into these things.

 

Let's be frank, when women hit high school and college age, they're thinking about most of what women at that age think about:

 

1. College or Career plans
   
2. Am I good looking or not?
   
3. Do people like me?
   
4. Men
   

 

Women have hobbies, but often they aren't the ones men are into. So while the fellas are playing CoD or Magic: The Gathering...these women are playing volleyball, running marathons, charity work, scrapbooking, book clubs, etc. Especially the last two, you won't see barely any men at.

 

This is why I tell many men who are into sci-fi, anime, gaming, etc. to diversify. Get into some stuff that isn't male-centric. Do things that not only interest you, but would also lead you to meeting women and other people. Build that social capital.

 

I like video games (haven't had a lot of time to play lately). I like coding web sites and blogging. I like DJing. I like sci-fi and action movies. However, I also like traveling, photography, cooking, and art. I also can play softball and can enjoy a sporting event with a group (and know what's going on).

 

There are some men and women who have no hobbies at all. All they do is work, shop, party, sleep, and work out. Those are what we call empty shells. If you meet one and find them rolling their eyes at every little thing you like to do...move on. Don't try to change them, enlighten them, convert them, or hope they'll one day tolerate your interests...move on.

Edited November 1, 2012 by grkBoy

[somedude81]

From what I see, the men who are into the geekier stuff want a girl who is into that stuff as well.

 

Girls who are into geeky things, don't care if the guy they are dating is into geek culture or not. They rather have a guy who is conventionally attractive in terms of looks, interests and personality.

[Hawaii50]

I the think the female equivalent of a video games are animals...

[verhrzn]

It's also a confirmation bias. If you THINK women don't play video games/anime, you are more likely to ignore the women you do see and discount them/ignore them/forget them.

 

I've also noticed that a lot of nerdy guys complain about women not being into nerdy things, WHILE sitting next to/inbetween nerdy girls. What they really mean is no hot women are into nerdy things, but neglect to mention the "hot" word out loud.

 

Whenever I've gone to cons or Magic tournaments, I've seen tons and tons of women. Quite a few of the nerdy guys I know are married and bring their wives. Sometimes I even feel a little sad, because a tiny part of me way back in high school got into some nerdy things because supposedly it was a sausage fest, only to discover that was not true.

[verhrzn]

Also, if nerdy guys got into cosplaying just a little bit, they'd suddenly find themselves surrounded by girls. I've never understood why more guys don't embrace cosplaying for that alone...

 

Exhibit A

B

And C

[Anela]

I the think the female equivalent of a video games are animals...

 

You might be right, although I know men who wouldn't give a pet up for a woman, either. They're part of the family.

 

The one perk when it comes to these games, over animals, is that the games don't die.

 

As for being a loner, I need a certain amount of space, but I also like to be around people - at least those that I know well. I like some time to myself, and then to go out to the bookstore with someone, go to the movies - I don't like to go out by myself. I like to sit in a cafe, and read a bit, and then talk about things, have a laugh. Animals are good in that way, too - mine follow me around and cuddle up, they like to play - my Rita made me roll with laughter, I sounded like a little girl at times.

 

I played Dungeons and Dragons with my neighbour when I was a kid. He got me into the books and computer games that had you choosing your own direction - like the Warlock of Firetop Mountain? I loved to play the Atari. I can't afford these things, otherwise I'd have a Wii, and games to play (whatever those things are that I see people talking about). I don't like to spend all day playing them now, though, unless it's a rare thing. I spend more time talking on message boards, email, etc... but there are an equal amount of men here, so that isn't necessarily limited to women.

[Negative Nancy]

I've also noticed that a lot of nerdy guys complain about women not being into nerdy things, WHILE sitting next to/inbetween nerdy girls. What they really mean is no hot women are into nerdy things, but neglect to mention the "hot" word out loud.

 

This is true, but what did you expect? Men are the same everywhere.

 

Exhibit A

 

:laugh: horse face :lmao:

[Titania22]

How did they meet you in person, if you live in Australia?

 

I posted here earlier in the year that I was visiting LA and would meet anyone who wanted to.

[EasyHeart]

I'm not familiar with the gamer culture OP discussed, but lots of activities are self-selected by gender. If you go to a sports bar, you'll be surrounded by men; if you go to the mall, you'll be surrounded by women.