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My boyfriend's view of my family


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So Im not sure if all these issues in my head are more hormonally derived than anything else but in any case, I am posting them here to see what you all think.

 

My current boyfriend comes from a very well to do, white picket fence type of family. From his own accounts and what I have observed they have never had to struggle financially, or have had any weird family situation per say.

 

I on the other hand come from a very very messy, immigrant family. My father half abandoned us when he sent us to this country and didnt provide at all for me or my siblings after a while. I had to put myself through college working full time and getting as many scholarships as possible, while my boyfriend's dad paid his whole schooling and even still sometimes helps him out financially, even when he doesn't really need it.

 

In any case, I have felt that my boyfriend kinda looks down on my family. He sometimes makes comments about them that make me uncomfortable. Granted, I do tell him when I get frustrated with my oldest sister and her stupid decisions, or when she asks to borrow money from me. And I do tell him how angry I am at my father and how I am seriously thinking about cutting him off...but still, I just dont think he should also talk badly about them, or say that my family is "crazy" and "a hot mess". It makes me feel like he think they are less than his perfect family. I adore my brother and my mother, whom have always been there for me, and I am proud that despite the hardships, we've made a decent life for ourselves from the ground up. I just dont like the idea of him pitying me because my family is less than perfect.

 

This morning he told me he loved me, and ofcourse me being insecured, asked him that if he loved me even with a messy family. He said he did, even with a hot mess of a family and my crazy pets (he also doesnt like my pets).

 

I just feel like he sees me less than him for some reason....but I dont know....maybe Im just crazy

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Oh, this is the classic "I can criticise the schytt out of them, but if you say a word against them I get defensive and offended."

 

been there. Done that.

 

The choice is yours.

either quit criticising them, or accept it if he does. He's actually trying to be supportive. look at your question -

 

....asked him that if he loved me even with a messy family. He said he did, even with a hot mess of a family and my crazy pets

That's not criticism, that's reassurance, Reassurance you asked for.

What is it you want him to do, exactly?

Disagree with you, when you badmouth your family?

 

What point are you making?

I'm asking, because as I said - I've "been there"....

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