Blueblur Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 (edited) Sorry if this may be the wrong the section of the forum to post this (feel free to move it), but I just registered because I needed some advice. I've been friends with benefits with this girl since high school. We've been on and off dating, and seen others in the years, but we've always had a deeper connection than just fooling around. Now I'm 23 and I've started to see this girl much more often. I care about her so much, and I absolutely love her and she does me...but I have my doubts. Years ago, she was dating a guy named chris, and made out with me while with him. Then, she dated a guy named jonny, and did the same thing with me. It made me question her obviously, and I've told her many times that I do not trust her, but that I am willing to build trust...she claims she never looks at other men, or is interested in anyone else but me. She's talked about marriage, the whole shebang. She says she is in love with me but wants to wait because she just got out of this relationship with jonny, and wants to wait til she's moved to my city. So we're at a bar last night partying with a friend of mine, his old fling, and my soon to be girl. We go outside and have a smoke, and I tell her that there is no one out there for me like her and that I really love her. She reciprocates and we talk about how lovely our future will be, and we agree we will wait for each other because she needs to move back to the city and she just recently got out of the relationship with jonny so she doesn't want to seem like a slut? I dunno. Anyways, not 10 minutes later, we go into the bar, and we're sitting down. She's obviously intoxicated, and her and her friend have a sexual history together...her friend asks if her and my girl can make out, and first I refuse...but then I said fine reluctantly...I'm not sure why. So they start making out passionately...this is all after we had this conversation outside about loyalty and trust! How embarrassing it was for me to be in each others arms in the bar in front of others, only to have her make out with another girl... an hour later! Needless to say I was pissed. So I grabbed my skateboard, my bag, said bye to my buddy. I noticed they had gone to the washroom to do who knows what. I left without saying anything to them...I was pissed. I may have said it was ok, but to actually see it definitely hurt. As I'm waiting for the bus I get a text from my so called girls friend, "come back right now, we really need to talk, please". They keep calling my phone. Eventually she leaves a message that went something like "I understand that it made you uncomfortable, and I'm sorry. I'm certain we can work through this blah blah blah I love you"...I don't reply to any of these calls or texts. I just headed home, super bummed. She texted me later on too, but I did not reply. I will NOT tolerate that crap, and if she thinks she can get away with **** like that, she has another thing coming. My main concern is this. I see a pattern in her. Loyalty is absolutely KEY for me, and I've told her this, but I don't think she knows the meaning of the word! Fair play we are not quite boyfriend and girlfriend yet, but she says there is no other, she says she wants to marry, that she loves me. We share a deep emotional connection, we cuddle, we have sex...its like we ARE in a relationship, she just doesn't want to call it that yet because, who knows. Maybe because she wants to full around like that, and it pisses me off to no end! How can she betray my trust like this...I am actually kind of new to the whole thing, and I'm wondering, perhaps I'm being over emotional? Or was it right to stand my ground? What should I do? Is it worth trying to fix things, or is she a lost cause? All I can do is ignore her because I will not be talking to her a for a good few weeks I think. I have so much to say, but I think silence is best. I will wait til I'm good and ready, and I've been thinking, maybe I will let her go...but I'm not sure. All I know is I want to see her squirm a bit before I make a move...Any help guys? Edited June 23, 2012 by Blueblur Link to post Share on other sites
ridinbikes247 Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 If I was you, honestly. Bang them both in a threesome. You are 23 years old. Way to young for love and with this girl. If I could swap shoes with you I would. Imagine being 26 years old, married for 5 years, together for 7 with a 4 year old kid and your wife coming to tell you she dosent love you, only to find out shes been talking to my friend for the past 1.5 years. the day we signed papers she lets my "friend" move in and they lock my 4 year old in his room all day and night for the past month. Not a single judge will listen to me because my kid is to "young" but I know my kid would not make this up. So who cares about that girl. Your both to young to get serious and she is still immature. have fun with her and start looking else where too Link to post Share on other sites
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