QwertyDaz Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 BACKGROUND: I dated this girl for around three months earlier in the year. She is the sister of the girlfriend of my best friend. I had met her quite a few times before, but seemed to have a spark between us at a birthday party just after christmas so I asked for her number. Everything was going fine, seemed to be progressing at a pace I was comfortable with and everytime we were together it was really good fun (unless she is a world class actor). I started staying over with her quite regularly and the things she would say/do indicated we were on the same page and we were building towards a future. One day I got a text basically saying "we need to talk about us", which is never a good thing, so I met up with her. She dumped me with the only reason being that she doesn't have as strong feeling towards me as she did with her ex. She hasn't spoken to her ex in over 3 years and hasn't been in a relationship since they broke up 4 years ago. I tried to talk her round for a bit, but she's a very strong character and I could tell that she wouldn't change - and tbh I shouldn't want to change anyone's mind for my purposes. She said that it was probably best if we didn't see each other at all as it's not healthy, which I partly agreed with. There was no bad blood between us, just bad timing I guessed. To say I was gutted was a bit of an understatement as I honestly thought the world of her. I have done my best to try and forget about her and move on, which is rather hard when I see her sister every day, but I'd been good and stuck to no contact for well over 2 months. TWO DAYS AGO: I woke up and my phone was telling me it is her birthday. I remember she saved it in my phone one evening when we were together. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not totally over her and it made me a little sad that I couldn't treat her on her birthday. Anyway, I decided I'd send her a facebook message (we're not friends on facebook and never were). I thought first of all that I'd simply say "Happy Birthday, hope you're well." but then I started thinking that she might interpret that as I've remembered her birthday as I'm still pining after her etc so I revised the message to say: "Happy Birthday! Hope you're keeping well and have a good day. One step closer to cardigans! Silly phone app reminded me just now so thought I'd wish you well. All the best." The cardigans reference was to a in-joke we had and she used to always respond well to a bit of teasing. I thought that was a pretty basic message, not implying anything at all, but for some reason she hasn't replied. Facebook tells me she has read it though. My main reason for sending the message, other than to wish her a happy birthday as I honestly hope she is well, is that I want her to know that she can be comfortable being in the same room as me. I've noticed that where we used to bump into each other at my best friend's house, she no longer ever seems to be there. Where she used to come for drinks etc (adult house parties) she never goes - and it's not just me that's noticed it. I don't think she is seeing anyone else. Anyways - do you think I upset her by sending her a message on her birthday? Would this upset you (girls)? That was the last thing I intended to do but by her lack of a response I can't help feeling that maybe I should have left her alone. I wasn't particularly expecting a response to reopen communication, but a simple acknowledgement wouldn't have gone a miss as she was always very kind to me. Cheers Daz Link to post Share on other sites
Squishy_Belle Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I dont think you upset her i just think she genuinly isn't interested. Im sure she appreciated that you messaged her but she obviously doesn't want any contact with you, maybe because she knows you still kinda like her or something? and she doesnt want to start getting friendly and making things awkward? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I agree with SB. You didn't upset her, she just isn't into you. She ended things, you aren't in her life anymore, so I'm sure she was a bit surprised to get a birthday greeting from you. Either way, you need to delete her off your facebook. Link to post Share on other sites
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